Just before I die, I am going to swallow a bag of Popcorn Kernels.
My cremation is going to be epic.
Search found 10330 matches
- Thu Apr 25, 2024 10:38 am
- Forum: The Cannonballs
- Topic: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
- Replies: 3281
- Views: 693188
- Thu Apr 25, 2024 10:37 am
- Forum: The Cannonballs
- Topic: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
- Replies: 3281
- Views: 693188
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
An Essex girl gets knocked off her bike and takes a nasty whack to the head.
A paramedic rushes over to check her for injuries.
"How many fingers have I got up?"
She suddenly bursts into tears.
"Fuck me, I'm a paralysed from the waist down, I can't feel any"
A paramedic rushes over to check her for injuries.
"How many fingers have I got up?"
She suddenly bursts into tears.
"Fuck me, I'm a paralysed from the waist down, I can't feel any"
- Thu Apr 25, 2024 10:27 am
- Forum: The Cannonballs
- Topic: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
- Replies: 3281
- Views: 693188
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
It's only my second day in prison, and I've already been brutally bummed in the showers three times.
I'm starting to think maybe I'm not cut out to be a guard.
I'm starting to think maybe I'm not cut out to be a guard.
- Thu Apr 25, 2024 10:26 am
- Forum: The Cannonballs
- Topic: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
- Replies: 3281
- Views: 693188
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Feminists just want to be treated equally
To the pretty ones.
To the pretty ones.
- Wed Apr 24, 2024 5:07 pm
- Forum: The Cannonballs
- Topic: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
- Replies: 3281
- Views: 693188
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
I said to the wife 'I've got a problem.' She replied 'No, we have a problem, we're a couple, we're married, we're a unit, your problem is my problem we're in this together.' Overwhelmed with relief I said 'its hardly worth mentioning now.' But she was insistent on knowing, 'what is the problem?' I t...
- Wed Apr 24, 2024 5:05 pm
- Forum: The Cannonballs
- Topic: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
- Replies: 3281
- Views: 693188
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
To the Scumbag that stole 300 cans of RedBull from my shop.
I don't know how you can sleep at night.
I don't know how you can sleep at night.
- Wed Apr 24, 2024 5:04 pm
- Forum: The Cannonballs
- Topic: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
- Replies: 3281
- Views: 693188
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Phoned the Tinnitus helpline earlier but it just kept ringing...
- Wed Apr 24, 2024 5:03 pm
- Forum: The Cannonballs
- Topic: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
- Replies: 3281
- Views: 693188
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
I had a dream I was swimming in a giant ocean of orange soda.
Turned out to be a Fanta sea.
Turned out to be a Fanta sea.
- Wed Apr 24, 2024 5:00 pm
- Forum: The Cannonballs
- Topic: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
- Replies: 3281
- Views: 693188
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
A mother takes her four year old daughter into the bank and the little girl goes up to the counter and says " as I now have a job I would like to open a bank account" the manager replies oh what sort of a job do you have?" The little girl replies " I have a job on a building site...
- Wed Apr 24, 2024 4:57 pm
- Forum: The Cannonballs
- Topic: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
- Replies: 3281
- Views: 693188
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
A woman says to her doctor doctor "I have two green marks on the inside of my thighs" The doctor had a look and said. "Is your boyfriend a Gypsy?"
I said "Yes, why?"
He said, "Tell him his earrings aren't real gold."
I said "Yes, why?"
He said, "Tell him his earrings aren't real gold."
- Wed Apr 24, 2024 4:55 pm
- Forum: The Cannonballs
- Topic: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
- Replies: 3281
- Views: 693188
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Men. Examine your own prostate by simply wiping your arse with Aldi value toilet roll.
- Wed Apr 24, 2024 4:55 pm
- Forum: The Cannonballs
- Topic: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
- Replies: 3281
- Views: 693188
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
The wife was getting dressed up for a night out with her mates, walked into the lounge and asked me to rate her.
"8 or 9 at least." I said.
"Out of 10?" she smiled... "Thanks, Babe, I'm flattered."
Didn't have the heart to tell her I meant pints.
"8 or 9 at least." I said.
"Out of 10?" she smiled... "Thanks, Babe, I'm flattered."
Didn't have the heart to tell her I meant pints.
- Tue Apr 23, 2024 10:38 pm
- Forum: On the Terraces
- Topic: Chavski cocks H Tue 23rd April KO 8pm
- Replies: 396
- Views: 4232
Re: Chavski cocks H Tue 23rd April KO 8pm
Brilliant, my youngest brother and I going mental, said to him after the second goal we can score four or five, we could have got seven
- Tue Apr 23, 2024 4:41 pm
- Forum: The Cannonballs
- Topic: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
- Replies: 3281
- Views: 693188
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
I've just bought a house with old period features.
She fucking hates it when I call her that.
She fucking hates it when I call her that.
- Tue Apr 23, 2024 4:41 pm
- Forum: The Cannonballs
- Topic: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
- Replies: 3281
- Views: 693188
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Wife texts husband at work on a cold winters morning: "
Windows frozen."
Husband texts back: "Pour some lukewarm water over it"
Wife texts back: "Computer completely fucked now."
Windows frozen."
Husband texts back: "Pour some lukewarm water over it"
Wife texts back: "Computer completely fucked now."