An Irish man went to confession in St.Patrick's Catholic Church. 'Father', he confessed, 'it has been one month since my last confession. I had sex with Fanny Green twice last month.' The priest told the sinner, 'You are forgiven. Go out and say three Hail Mary's.' Soon thereafter, another Irish man...

A burglar broke into a house one Christmas night looking for presents when the family was not home. He shined his flashlight around, looking, when a voice in the dark said, 'Jesus knows you're here.' He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more ...

It is near the end of the school year. The teacher has turned in her grades. There is really nothing to do. All the kids are restless because there is nothing to do and it is near the end of the day. The teacher says, "Whoever answers the questions I ask first and correctly can leave early toda...

Boy comes home and tells his father he has just had sex for the first time. The proud Dad says 'That’s my boy, I'll buy you a bike to celebrate, but you will have to wait until next pay day.' Boy says 'that's alright Dad, my arse is a bit too sore to ride it at the moment anyway' Had my first Gig ...

There were two golfers on the golf course. One of the men pulled out a cigarette, and asked his friend for a light. His friend pulls out a 12 inch Bic lighter. - "Woah, where did you get such a large Bic?" - "Oh, my genie got it for me." - "Your genie? You have a genie? Wher...

A couple were invited to a swanky family masked, fancy dress Halloween party. The wife got a terrible headache! She told her husband to go to the party alone. He, being a devoted husband, protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed and there was no need for hi...

digger wrote:Fair enough. Go scabs and managers! I hope they get a hefty payrise as a reward for their efforts while the other c**ts sat at at home

You fucking wanker !

If you knew what you was talking about you would know that we are fighting to preserve a good postal service.

Before the final match, the Norwegian wrestling coach came to Ole and said, "Now, don't forget all the research we've done on this Russian. He's never lost a match because of this 'pretzel' hold he has". Whatever you do, do not let him get you in that hold! If he does, you're finished'. Ol...

Last night I was talking to a young, good looking woman. She asked me if I liked breasts or legs.
I told her what I really liked was a shaved snatch.


Apparently I'm not welcome back at KFC.

A lonely widow, age 70, decided that it was time to get married again. She put an ad in the local paper that read: HUSBAND WANTED: MUST BE IN MY AGE GROUP (70's), MUST NOT BEAT ME, MUST NOT RUN AROUND ON ME & MUST STILL BE GOOD IN BED!!!!! ALL APPLICANTS PLEASE APPLY IN PERSON. On the second day...

SWLGooner wrote:Wasn't ticketmaster olgit, some postman took 'em.

Not this one

A man and his wife were driving home one very cold night when the wife asks her husband to stop the car. There was a baby skunk lying at the side of the road, and she got out to see if it was still alive. It was, and she said to her husband, Its nearly frozen to death. Can we take it with us, get it...

A Drover walks into a bar with a pet crocodile by his side. He puts the crocodile up on the bar. He turns to the astonished patrons. 'I'll make you a deal. I'll open this crocodile's mouth and place my manhood inside. Then the croc will close his mouth for one minute. 'Then he'll open his mouth and ...

It was time for Father John's Saturday night bath and the young nun, Sister Magdalene, had prepared the bath water and towels just the way the old nun had instructed. Sister Magdalene was also instructed not to look at Father John's nakedness if she could help it, do whatever he told her to do, and ...

still no sign rang the box office there going to investigate it and ring me back sat in all morning doing sweet fa waiting!!!!!! What postcode you in ? lu6 1bq dunstable she told me even if there is a strike special delivery should still arrive on time Thats true ! Scabs and management deliver