Been told that Loïc Remy was at Highbury house twice this week and will sign for us!

City please

A Red Indian introduced me to his wife...
"This is four horses" He said.
I said, wow that's a beautiful name, what does it mean....?
He said,
"Nag,nag,nag,nag!"......

This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years, the only friction in their marriage was the husband’s habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke the noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air. Every morning she would pl...

The team down the road are doing everything I wanted US to do this summer.

David Beckham gets into a taxi and he sees the driver looking at him in the rear view mirror. After about 5 minutes the driver says "OK give me a clue." Beckham says "I had a glittering career at Manchester United, played in America and got over 100 caps for England. Is that enough?&q...

A 7 year old & a 4 year old are in their bedroom " you know what "says the 7 year old " I think it's time we started swearing, when we go downstairs for breakfast I'll swear first then you." "OK"says the 4 year old. Mum asks 7 year old what he wants for breakfast. &...

Made me laugh

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yHx8y1rF ... e=youtu.be

An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow." The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which...

i was asked to leave the local swimming pool today as the large bulge in my Speedos was upsetting some of the other swimmers. I pointed out another guy in similar trunks & asked why he was not being asked to leave. They replied "Because he hasn't shit himself,"

Very funny man Mel Smith

John hoisted his beer and said, “Here’s to spending the rest of me life, between the legs of me wife!” That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night! He went home and told his wife, Mary, “I won the prize for the Best toast of the night.” She said, “Aye, did ye now. And what ...

John Hoy is alive and living in Newcastle!

A young family moved into a house next door to an empty plot. One day, a gang of building workers turned up to start building on the plot. The young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and started talking with the workers. She hung around an...