Saturday Joke

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

I said to my son "where are you going?"

He said "I'm off to meet a girl"

I said "don't forget to wear a................you know"

He said "what?"

I said "you know"

He said "do you mean a condom?"

I said "no, a hat you ginger twat!!!!"

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

I treated the wife to one of those 'fish pedicures' the other day and I must say I was very pleased with the result.

Those Piranhas don't fuck about!

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

2 Dwarfs pull a couple of birds and take them home

1st dwarf can't get it up and to make matters worse all night he can hear the 2nd dwarf saying "here I cum again.....1, 2, 3 uuuuh!

The next morning the 1st dwarf says to the 2nd dwarf "how embarrasing, I couldn't get an erection"

2nd dwarf says "you think that's bad? I couldn't get on the fucking bed!



Is this DB10 and BG?

[Henry Norris 1913]

I said to my son "where are you going?"

He said "I'm off to meet a girl"

I said "don't forget to wear a................you know"

He said "what?"

I said "you know"

He said "do you mean a condom?"

I said "no, a hat you ginger twat!!!!"

the dad had a child with a ginger girl, what a massive mistake.

ginga scum

[brazilianGOONER]

I said to my son "where are you going?"

He said "I'm off to meet a girl"

I said "don't forget to wear a................you know"

He said "what?"

I said "you know"

He said "do you mean a condom?"

I said "no, a hat you ginger twat!!!!"

[brazilianGOONER]

2 Dwarfs pull a couple of birds and take them home

1st dwarf can't get it up and to make matters worse all night he can hear the 2nd dwarf saying "here I cum again.....1, 2, 3 uuuuh!

The next morning the 1st dwarf says to the 2nd dwarf "how embarrasing, I couldn't get an erection"

2nd dwarf says "you think that's bad? I couldn't get on the fucking bed!



Is this DB10 and BG?

no mate, in this occasion i was dressed as one of the birds, actually

[RoscommonGooner]

LeftfootlegendGooner wrote: 2 Dwarfs pull a couple of birds and take them home

1st dwarf can't get it up and to make matters worse all night he can hear the 2nd dwarf saying "here I cum again.....1, 2, 3 uuuuh!

The next morning the 1st dwarf says to the 2nd dwarf "how embarrasing, I couldn't get an erection"

2nd dwarf says "you think that's bad? I couldn't get on the fucking bed!



Is this DB10 and BG?

no mate, in this occasion i was dressed as one of the birds, actually

A ladyboy with a fetish for dwarfs ; )

[SWLGooner]

Arsene Wenger.

[mcdowell42]

While my wife was in the kitchen cooking breakfast, I suddenly heard a loud thud. Running in, I found her dead on the floor. In a blind frenzy, I had no idea what to do. Then I remembered Wetherspoons do an all-day breakfast for £3.99


This guy from over the road was talking to me earlier.

"My wife's just told me she's been having an affair with Dave the milkman," he confided.

"What? That fat ugly fucker I see every morning outside your house?"

"Yes," he laughed, cheering up.

"Why would Dave the milkman want to shag that?"



As my wife and I lay in bed together, I felt the tension in the air.

She then folded her arms and huffed, "You never make the first move."

"Jesus!" I said as I rolled my eyes. "Every night it's the same thing."

"Well you don't!" she moaned. "It's always me and quite frankly I'm fed up with it. And before you start, it's nothing to do with you being black."

"It is," I said.

"No, it isn't," she said.

"You know what?" I said as I jumped out of the bed. "You can stick the fucking chessboard up your arse."

[Postman]

The wife asked me what i was doing on the computer.....i said i was looking for cheap flight's. She got all excited and showered me with loads of kisses and cuddles and love and affection....Which is strange as she's never shown any interest in dart's before....

[RoscommonGooner]

The wife asked me what i was doing on the computer.....i said i was looking for cheap flight's. She got all excited and showered me with loads of kisses and cuddles and love and affection....Which is strange as she's never shown any interest in dart's before....

[MadRich]

3 sailors got stuck on an island full of cannibals.
The cannibals said to them "If you do what we say, we’ll spare your lifeâ€

[Postman]

I stopped in to visit my dyslexic friend last night.

He was busy covering his penis with black shoe polish.

I said to him:

"You idiot!"

"You're supposed to turn your clock back!

[RoscommonGooner]

I stopped in to visit my dyslexic friend last night.

He was busy covering his penis with black shoe polish.

I said to him:

"You idiot!"

"You're supposed to turn your clock back!

Reminds me of a story Irish comedian Tommy Tiernan told on radio the other morning. Him and his young son, who sometimes gets words mixed up, were at the cinema recently where his son asked for Cockporn as opposed to popcorn.

Probably never happened but still funny

[cardinal2011]

My wife calls my knob "The Firework"......

Not because it lights up her evening, but because she likes to keep it at arms length since it went off in her face!!