LeftfootlegendGooner wrote: ↑Fri Mar 06, 2020 11:48 amSome kids knocked on my door trick or treating,
I told them to fuck off with their American shit, they said "nothing wrong with American culture mister"
so I shot the fuckers.
LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
The neighbours got married (2nd marriage) , and i said did all of the guests get on and the boy replied yes ,well they would , they all know each other as they are cousins !!!! Not a joke but they are from Norwich ( my neighbours)LeftfootlegendGooner wrote: ↑Fri Mar 06, 2020 12:27 pmA young girl from Norwich wrote to an agony aunt in her local paper,shu wrote: ↑Mon Mar 02, 2020 10:03 pmHa ha I am from NorwichLeftfootlegendGooner wrote: ↑Sat Apr 21, 2018 8:57 amThe toothbrush was invented in Norfolk.
Anywhere else, it would've been called a teethbrush.
Dear Deidre I'm a 13 year old girl from Norwich and I'm still a virgin.
Do you think my brothers are gay?!
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Noah's diary :
Day 39. Unicorn pie is fucking delicious!
Day 39. Unicorn pie is fucking delicious!
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
A flight attendant sees a suspicious looking couple on board, so she reports it to the Captain immediately.
“Sir, I think we have a case of human trafficking! There is a very pretty and quiet female passenger on board, who looks quite frightened, and the man she is with, is a fat old slob who looks like a sexual deviant, mean and dangerous!”
The captain responds, “You must be new here. This is Air Force One.”
“Sir, I think we have a case of human trafficking! There is a very pretty and quiet female passenger on board, who looks quite frightened, and the man she is with, is a fat old slob who looks like a sexual deviant, mean and dangerous!”
The captain responds, “You must be new here. This is Air Force One.”
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Masturbation is so much easier for kids these days..
I remember having to wait for the Littlewoods catalogue, sneakily smuggle it into the bathroom and find the lingerie section.
Nowadays, the internet makes it so much easier!
I just open up my browser and go to www.littlewoods.com.
I remember having to wait for the Littlewoods catalogue, sneakily smuggle it into the bathroom and find the lingerie section.
Nowadays, the internet makes it so much easier!
I just open up my browser and go to www.littlewoods.com.
Last edited by LeftfootlegendGooner on Fri Mar 06, 2020 2:20 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
I phoned my wife earlier and asked her if she wanted me to pick up fish and chips on my way home from work but she just grunted at me.
I think she still regrets letting me name the twins.
I think she still regrets letting me name the twins.
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
I think I posted this some time back but hey.
They've published another week of Elizabeth Fritzl's diary.
Monday:- Stayed in, Dad came down and fucked me.
Tuesday:- Stayed in, Got fucked by Dad
Wednesday:- Stayed in, Dad fucked me doggy style
Thursday:- Stayed in, Dad spunked on my face
Friday:- Stayed in, Dad gave my arse a right pounding
Saturday:- Went to watch Tottenham Hotspur play.
Wish I'd fucking stayed in.
They've published another week of Elizabeth Fritzl's diary.
Monday:- Stayed in, Dad came down and fucked me.
Tuesday:- Stayed in, Got fucked by Dad
Wednesday:- Stayed in, Dad fucked me doggy style
Thursday:- Stayed in, Dad spunked on my face
Friday:- Stayed in, Dad gave my arse a right pounding
Saturday:- Went to watch Tottenham Hotspur play.
Wish I'd fucking stayed in.
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Jeremy Corbyn has just issued a statement saying the Labour party is not antisemitic and anyone that says it is should keep their big nose out.
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Chinese Takeaway £24
Petrol to pick it up £2
Getting home and realising one of the useless twats have forgotten one of your containers
Riceless.
Petrol to pick it up £2
Getting home and realising one of the useless twats have forgotten one of your containers
Riceless.
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
B.B.C News :The Vatican is still against surrogate mothers.
Good thing they didn't have that rule when Jesus was born.
Good thing they didn't have that rule when Jesus was born.
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Apparently there's a new sex position called parcel force.
You stay in all day and no-one comes
You stay in all day and no-one comes
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
After dropping my new girlfriend home the other night after our first date, she told me I'd have to wait 3 months before she would have sex with me.
I told her I totally understood and respected her decision and that I'd ring her again nearer that time.
I told her I totally understood and respected her decision and that I'd ring her again nearer that time.
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Due to the water shortage in Ireland, Dublin Swimming Baths have announced that they are closing lanes 7 and 8.
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
I went on a date with a blonde woman last night.
"Do you have any kids?" she asked.
"Yes," I replied. "I have one child that's just under two."
She said, "I might be blonde, but I know how many one is."
"Do you have any kids?" she asked.
"Yes," I replied. "I have one child that's just under two."
She said, "I might be blonde, but I know how many one is."
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
My therapist told me that a great way to let go of your anger is to write letters to people you hate and then burn them.
I did that and I feel much better but I am wondering do I keep the letters.?
I did that and I feel much better but I am wondering do I keep the letters.?