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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Fri Mar 09, 2018 5:30 pm
by LeftfootlegendGooner
If you want to play a real life version of Pac-Man then go to DFS and try and avoid the salesman.
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Fri Mar 09, 2018 5:34 pm
by LeftfootlegendGooner
Two cavemen are talking, one says, "I'm going to teach my woman to speak."
The other one says, "What harm can it do."
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Fri Mar 09, 2018 5:35 pm
by LeftfootlegendGooner
RIP Hugh Hefner. He'd seen more cuntts than the turnstiles at old Trafford.
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Fri Mar 09, 2018 5:37 pm
by LeftfootlegendGooner
The Car of the Year for 2017, as voted by Woman magazine is:
A Blue one.
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Fri Mar 09, 2018 5:41 pm
by LeftfootlegendGooner
I've been paying £2 a month to the Cats Protection League for over a year. I missed 2 payments and they've just been round and broken my cat’s legs.
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Fri Mar 09, 2018 5:42 pm
by LeftfootlegendGooner
A Muslim lady was denied entrance into Mcdonalds today until she removes her hijab.... Should have gone to Burka king
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Fri Mar 09, 2018 5:44 pm
by LeftfootlegendGooner
My kids keep on taking the piss out my alzheimers. Wait till the cheeky little buggers wake up on Christmas morning and find no eggs under the bonfire
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Fri Mar 09, 2018 5:44 pm
by DB10GOONER
LeftfootlegendGooner wrote: ↑Fri Mar 09, 2018 4:53 pm
After sex, there's nothing worse than finding a broken condom on your cock. Especially when you didn't start with one.
Some crackers there lefty. Well done mate.
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Fri Mar 09, 2018 5:45 pm
by DB10GOONER
LeftfootlegendGooner wrote: ↑Fri Mar 09, 2018 5:35 pm
RIP Hugh Hefner. He'd seen more cuntts than the turnstiles at old Trafford.
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Fri Mar 09, 2018 5:46 pm
by DB10GOONER
LeftfootlegendGooner wrote: ↑Fri Mar 09, 2018 4:50 pm
I'm just on holiday and got my girlfriend to smuggle some coke up her arse through customs. I didn't realise I could've just bought another can in the departure lounge.
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Fri Mar 09, 2018 5:47 pm
by LeftfootlegendGooner
They've published another week of Elizabeth Fritzl's diary.
Monday:- Stayed in, Dad came down and fucked me.
Tuesday:- Stayed in, Got fucked by Dad Wednesday:- Stayed in, Dad fucked me doggy style
Thursday:- Stayed in, Dad spunked on my face Friday:- Stayed in, Dad gave my arse a right pounding
Saturday:- Went to watch Tottenham Hotspur play. Wish I'd fucking stayed in.
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Fri Mar 09, 2018 5:48 pm
by LeftfootlegendGooner
DB10GOONER wrote: ↑Fri Mar 09, 2018 5:44 pm
LeftfootlegendGooner wrote: ↑Fri Mar 09, 2018 4:53 pm
After sex, there's nothing worse than finding a broken condom on your cock. Especially when you didn't start with one.
Some crackers there lefty. Well done mate.
Cheers mate
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Fri Mar 09, 2018 5:51 pm
by LeftfootlegendGooner
Bloody Foreigner.
Coming over here demanding to know what love is.
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Fri Mar 09, 2018 5:55 pm
by LeftfootlegendGooner
The police phoned me to tell me my wife was in hospital.
"How is she?" I asked.
"Very critical," replied the officer.
"What's she fucking complaining about now?" I said.
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Fri Mar 09, 2018 6:24 pm
by GranadaJoe
Top, top work as always.
I'm looking forward to trying the 'feminist' ones on the wife. Do women have a sense of humour?