LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

It's all a load of Cannonballs in here! This is the virtual Arsenal pub where you can chat about anything except football. Be warned though, like any pub, the content may not always be suitable for everyone.
LeftfootlegendGooner
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Post by LeftfootlegendGooner »

Not sure if it's worth posting jokes when only 2 people see them, as much as I like you two people lol.

I will let this thread slip into obscurity, very much like Arsene.

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corkbarry
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Post by corkbarry »

LeftfootlegendGooner wrote:
Wed Oct 23, 2019 7:54 pm
Not sure if it's worth posting jokes when only 2 people see them, as much as I like you two people lol.

I will let this thread slip into obscurity, very much like Arsene.
I'm sure Wenger and Emery find them amusing which makes at least 3 of us.

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DB10GOONER
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Post by DB10GOONER »

LeftfootlegendGooner wrote:
Wed Oct 23, 2019 7:54 pm
Not sure if it's worth posting jokes when only 2 people see them, as much as I like you two people lol.

I will let this thread slip into obscurity, very much like Arsene.
Only 2 might comment but I'd say a lot of people do read them mate. Personally I hope you keep up the good work as there are some days your jokes literally prevent me killing a train load of my fellow commuters! 8)

LeftfootlegendGooner
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Post by LeftfootlegendGooner »

DB10GOONER wrote:
Thu Oct 24, 2019 5:52 am
LeftfootlegendGooner wrote:
Wed Oct 23, 2019 7:54 pm
Not sure if it's worth posting jokes when only 2 people see them, as much as I like you two people lol.

I will let this thread slip into obscurity, very much like Arsene.
Only 2 might comment but I'd say a lot of people do read them mate. Personally I hope you keep up the good work as there are some days your jokes literally prevent me killing a train load of my fellow commuters! 8)
:lol: :lol:

You have my sympathy friend, I only get on a train once in a blue moon and indeed wish I'd gone armed :lol:

I will endeavour to bring crap jokes and the very odd funny one to you commute :barscarf: :lol:

LeftfootlegendGooner
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Post by LeftfootlegendGooner »

Spain completed 850 passes in their game the other night .

The only way england could equal that is if we put Harry kane on mastermind .

LeftfootlegendGooner
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Post by LeftfootlegendGooner »

What's the Difference between Red & Green?

Fuck all apparently if you’re on a bike.

LeftfootlegendGooner
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Post by LeftfootlegendGooner »

One for your train journey DB.

The guy sat next to me on the train pulled out a photo of his wife and said, “She’s beautiful, isn’t she?”

I said, “If you think she’s beautiful, you should see my girlfriend mate.” He said, “Why? Is she a stunner?” I said, “No, she’s an optician.”

LeftfootlegendGooner
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Post by LeftfootlegendGooner »

I can't see why  female linesman and referees could  be any worse than the idiots we have now.

I mean, if there is something women are good at, it is pointing out mistakes made by men.

LeftfootlegendGooner
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Post by LeftfootlegendGooner »

Dear TAG heuer

I’m pretty sure that if I end up 500 meters under water, I won’t need a fuckin’ watch anymore.

LeftfootlegendGooner
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Post by LeftfootlegendGooner »

I was staying in a hotel  last night.   I phoned down to reception. “Hi, this is room 26 Can I have a wake up call , please?”

She said “Yes, You’re in your mid 30s, Single , live with your mother and  have achieved nothing in life !"

LeftfootlegendGooner
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Post by LeftfootlegendGooner »

A bloke walks into a pet shop and places a bomb on the counter and says ” you’ve got one minute to get out”, a tortoise in the back shouts ” you bastard!”

LeftfootlegendGooner
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Post by LeftfootlegendGooner »

Feeling down in the dumps overweight, unfit, thinking you're getting old, got aches and pains, stiff back?

Well just park in a disabled bay at Tesco and everyone will be sure to tell you there's fuck all wrong with you .

LeftfootlegendGooner
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Post by LeftfootlegendGooner »

My dad said you should always be up front with everyone .

Great bloke shit goalkeeper! .

LeftfootlegendGooner
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Post by LeftfootlegendGooner »

Endless love ....

Stevie wonder and ray charles playing tennis

LeftfootlegendGooner
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Post by LeftfootlegendGooner »

A woman has sued a hospital, stating that after a recent operation, her husband had lost interest in sex.

The surgeon replied "all we did was restore his eyesight"

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