LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

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LeftfootlegendGooner
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Postby LeftfootlegendGooner » Wed Oct 23, 2019 7:54 pm

Not sure if it's worth posting jokes when only 2 people see them, as much as I like you two people lol.

I will let this thread slip into obscurity, very much like Arsene.

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corkbarry
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Location: Cork

Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Postby corkbarry » Wed Oct 23, 2019 9:12 pm

Not sure if it's worth posting jokes when only 2 people see them, as much as I like you two people lol.

I will let this thread slip into obscurity, very much like Arsene.
I'm sure Wenger and Emery find them amusing which makes at least 3 of us.

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DB10GOONER
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Postby DB10GOONER » Thu Oct 24, 2019 5:52 am

Not sure if it's worth posting jokes when only 2 people see them, as much as I like you two people lol.

I will let this thread slip into obscurity, very much like Arsene.
Only 2 might comment but I'd say a lot of people do read them mate. Personally I hope you keep up the good work as there are some days your jokes literally prevent me killing a train load of my fellow commuters! 8)

LeftfootlegendGooner
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Joined: Fri Jan 09, 2009 1:07 pm

Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Postby LeftfootlegendGooner » Thu Oct 24, 2019 7:10 am

Not sure if it's worth posting jokes when only 2 people see them, as much as I like you two people lol.

I will let this thread slip into obscurity, very much like Arsene.
Only 2 might comment but I'd say a lot of people do read them mate. Personally I hope you keep up the good work as there are some days your jokes literally prevent me killing a train load of my fellow commuters! 8)
:lol: :lol:

You have my sympathy friend, I only get on a train once in a blue moon and indeed wish I'd gone armed :lol:

I will endeavour to bring crap jokes and the very odd funny one to you commute :barscarf: :lol:

LeftfootlegendGooner
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Joined: Fri Jan 09, 2009 1:07 pm

Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Postby LeftfootlegendGooner » Thu Oct 24, 2019 7:26 am

Spain completed 850 passes in their game the other night .

The only way england could equal that is if we put Harry kane on mastermind .

LeftfootlegendGooner
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Joined: Fri Jan 09, 2009 1:07 pm

Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Postby LeftfootlegendGooner » Thu Oct 24, 2019 7:27 am

What's the Difference between Red & Green?

Fuck all apparently if you’re on a bike.

LeftfootlegendGooner
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Joined: Fri Jan 09, 2009 1:07 pm

Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Postby LeftfootlegendGooner » Thu Oct 24, 2019 7:29 am

One for your train journey DB.

The guy sat next to me on the train pulled out a photo of his wife and said, “She’s beautiful, isn’t she?”

I said, “If you think she’s beautiful, you should see my girlfriend mate.” He said, “Why? Is she a stunner?” I said, “No, she’s an optician.”

LeftfootlegendGooner
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Joined: Fri Jan 09, 2009 1:07 pm

Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Postby LeftfootlegendGooner » Thu Oct 24, 2019 7:32 am

I can't see why  female linesman and referees could  be any worse than the idiots we have now.

I mean, if there is something women are good at, it is pointing out mistakes made by men.

LeftfootlegendGooner
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Postby LeftfootlegendGooner » Thu Oct 24, 2019 7:33 am

Dear TAG heuer

I’m pretty sure that if I end up 500 meters under water, I won’t need a fuckin’ watch anymore.

LeftfootlegendGooner
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Joined: Fri Jan 09, 2009 1:07 pm

Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Postby LeftfootlegendGooner » Thu Oct 24, 2019 7:39 am

I was staying in a hotel  last night.   I phoned down to reception. “Hi, this is room 26 Can I have a wake up call , please?”

She said “Yes, You’re in your mid 30s, Single , live with your mother and  have achieved nothing in life !"

LeftfootlegendGooner
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Joined: Fri Jan 09, 2009 1:07 pm

Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Postby LeftfootlegendGooner » Thu Oct 24, 2019 7:51 am

A bloke walks into a pet shop and places a bomb on the counter and says ” you’ve got one minute to get out”, a tortoise in the back shouts ” you bastard!”

LeftfootlegendGooner
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Joined: Fri Jan 09, 2009 1:07 pm

Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Postby LeftfootlegendGooner » Thu Oct 24, 2019 7:53 am

Feeling down in the dumps overweight, unfit, thinking you're getting old, got aches and pains, stiff back?

Well just park in a disabled bay at Tesco and everyone will be sure to tell you there's fuck all wrong with you .

LeftfootlegendGooner
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Joined: Fri Jan 09, 2009 1:07 pm

Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Postby LeftfootlegendGooner » Thu Oct 24, 2019 7:54 am

My dad said you should always be up front with everyone .

Great bloke shit goalkeeper! .

LeftfootlegendGooner
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Joined: Fri Jan 09, 2009 1:07 pm

Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Postby LeftfootlegendGooner » Thu Oct 24, 2019 7:55 am

Endless love ....

Stevie wonder and ray charles playing tennis

LeftfootlegendGooner
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Joined: Fri Jan 09, 2009 1:07 pm

Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Postby LeftfootlegendGooner » Thu Oct 24, 2019 7:56 am

A woman has sued a hospital, stating that after a recent operation, her husband had lost interest in sex.

The surgeon replied "all we did was restore his eyesight"


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