The Gooner Forum

I just found out I’m colourblind.

It came completely out of the Purple.

The hardest thing about a sex change operation is trying to make cheese taste like fish.

I read that a banana a day helps to keep your colon clean.

I just wish they'd told me I was supposed to eat them.

I’m desperate to get back with my ex wife, but she’s having none of it... She thinks I’m only after her for my money.

What's an old Catholic priest's favourite tune?

The Magic Flute in D minor

90% of women don't like men in pink shirts.

Ironically, 90% of men in pink shirts don't like women

Stalking is when two people go for a long romantic walk together but only one of them knows it

Is my Thai girlfriend really a guy? Something inside me says yes!

I tried to explain to my 4-year-old son that it's perfectly normal to accidentally shit your pants, but he's still making fun of me.

Feminists just want to be treated equally

To the pretty ones.

Women want equality ...

And maybe when they evolve and realise that a bad mood is not a valid reason to mistreat people, they might deserve it.

Interesting that feminists are never feminine.

I went into a women's changing room today and forced everyone to act as if they wanted me there

Like a female football pundit.

If modern society has taught us anything, it's that the less a person is qualified to have an opinion

The more likely she is to express it

So Boris Johnson wants to build a bridge from Britain to France.

The French are said to he happy with this as it gives their army another direction to run in.