LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

[mcdowell42]

Keep them coming Lefty, my friends on Facebook think I'm the funniest guy on the planet

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

Keep them coming Lefty, my friends on Facebook think I'm the funniest guy on the planet

You got friends

[DB10GOONER]

Keep them coming Lefty, my friends on Facebook think I'm the funniest guy on the planet

You got friends

Me too. My footy whatsapp group are pissing themselves and yes I'm claiming the credit. Unless one of the sneaky fuckers joins up here....

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

Keep them coming Lefty, my friends on Facebook think I'm the funniest guy on the planet

You got friends

Me too. My footy whatsapp group are pissing themselves and yes I'm claiming the credit. Unless one of the sneaky fuckers joins up here....

Mo fuckers

Just a quick question, your "friends" have met you, right

[DB10GOONER]

Keep them coming Lefty, my friends on Facebook think I'm the funniest guy on the planet

You got friends

Me too. My footy whatsapp group are pissing themselves and yes I'm claiming the credit. Unless one of the sneaky fuckers joins up here....

Mo fuckers

Just a quick question, your "friends" have met you, right

But yeah like you I'm of a generation where my friends are all actual people I've hung out with for decades.

I know that's not as cool as having 675 imaginary social media friends like the kids nowadays but then I'm not an entitled snowflake prick like the majority of them either!

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

Keep them coming Lefty, my friends on Facebook think I'm the funniest guy on the planet

You got friends

Me too. My footy whatsapp group are pissing themselves and yes I'm claiming the credit. Unless one of the sneaky fuckers joins up here....

Mo fuckers

Just a quick question, your "friends" have met you, right

But yeah like you I'm of a generation where my friends are all actual people I've hung out with for decades.

I know that's not as cool as having 675 imaginary social media friends like the kids nowadays but then I'm not an entitled snowflake prick like the majority of them either!

Is MC42 in that bracket

But yes all this social media millions of friends most of whom I've never met let alone conversed with is *****, it's all people needing to be liked

I on the other hand know I'm not liked so don't give a shit

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

The only thing flat-earthers fear …....

is sphere itself.

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

I couldn't undo the buttons on my jumper, so i tried pulling it over my head but got it stuck.

I'm in A&E now waiting to see a cardyologist.

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

"Diana!" I said greeting my Mother-In-Law as she walked through the door...

She said, "My name's Anna."

I said, "Yeah, I know."

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

I've been diagnosed with a chronic fear of giants.

Feefiphobia.

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

My plan to get my dog to swallow semen is coming on a treat.

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

I love taking pictures of myself standing next to boiling water..

Doctor says I've got selfie steam issues..

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

Mail online: "world's oldest paperboy dies at 92."

94 are wondering where their Evening Telegraph's got to.

[DB10GOONER]

"Diana!" I said greeting my Mother-In-Law as she walked through the door...

She said, "My name's Anna."

I said, "Yeah, I know."

[DB10GOONER]

I've been diagnosed with a chronic fear of giants.

I bet you have.

Giants.

Or anyone over 5'8".