LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

It's all a load of Cannonballs in here! This is the virtual Arsenal pub where you can chat about anything except football. Be warned though, like any pub, the content may not always be suitable for everyone.
LeftfootlegendGooner
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Post by LeftfootlegendGooner »

Schizophrenia - together I can beat it.

LeftfootlegendGooner
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Post by LeftfootlegendGooner »

Anyone wishing to show their appreciation for Amazon delivery drivers are asked to clap at their homes tomorrow anytime between 9am and 6pm.

LeftfootlegendGooner
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Post by LeftfootlegendGooner »

"Darling...fancy putting on a nurses uniform"?

"Ooh, cheeky boy...you feeling horny"?

"Nah...we've run out of bread"

LeftfootlegendGooner
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Post by LeftfootlegendGooner »

A man doesn't walk into a pub..........

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Midz
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Post by Midz »

LeftfootlegendGooner wrote:
Sat Apr 04, 2020 10:31 am
"Darling...fancy putting on a nurses uniform"?

"Ooh, cheeky boy...you feeling horny"?

"Nah...we've run out of bread"
:D :D

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DB10GOONER
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Post by DB10GOONER »

LeftfootlegendGooner wrote:
Fri Apr 03, 2020 11:14 am
Schizophrenia - together I can beat it.
:lol: :lol: :lol:

LeftfootlegendGooner
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Post by LeftfootlegendGooner »

As if it wasn't bad enough being Dyslexic, now I've got the Racoon virus.

LeftfootlegendGooner
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Post by LeftfootlegendGooner »

Don't go to the pub.

Don't meet up with your friends.

Don't come home with an infection.

Honestly, Boris Johnson is starting to sound like my fucking girlfriend.

LeftfootlegendGooner
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Post by LeftfootlegendGooner »

Many parents are about to discover that the teacher was not the problem.

LeftfootlegendGooner
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Post by LeftfootlegendGooner »

My cat just asked me if I want the radio leaving on while he goes out.

Fucking prick.

LeftfootlegendGooner
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Post by LeftfootlegendGooner »

Let's take a moment to think of Philip Schofield.

The poor bugger only just came out and now he's being told he's got to stay in.

LeftfootlegendGooner
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Post by LeftfootlegendGooner »

No gatherings with more than two people.

Piers Morgan can still have all his friends round then?

LeftfootlegendGooner
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Post by LeftfootlegendGooner »

The Germans have started to put their towels on hospital beds.

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DB10GOONER
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Post by DB10GOONER »

LeftfootlegendGooner wrote:
Tue Apr 07, 2020 6:06 pm
Let's take a moment to think of Philip Schofield.

The poor bugger only just came out and now he's being told he's got to stay in.
:lol: :lol:

Jock Gooner
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Post by Jock Gooner »

LeftfootlegendGooner wrote:
Tue Apr 07, 2020 6:02 pm
Many parents are about to discover that the teacher was not the problem.
:barscarf: :lol:

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