LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

It's all a load of Cannonballs in here! This is the virtual Arsenal pub where you can chat about anything except football. Be warned though, like any pub, the content may not always be suitable for everyone.
LeftfootlegendGooner
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Joined: Fri Jan 09, 2009 1:07 pm

Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Post by LeftfootlegendGooner »

Just been attacked by a ginger kid doing martial arts...

turns out he was the Carroty Kid

LeftfootlegendGooner
Posts: 8508
Joined: Fri Jan 09, 2009 1:07 pm

Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Post by LeftfootlegendGooner »

If anyone wants to sponsor me, I'm doing a 0.0000005K run to raise awareness for laziness

LeftfootlegendGooner
Posts: 8508
Joined: Fri Jan 09, 2009 1:07 pm

Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Post by LeftfootlegendGooner »

Pretty sure we could test the entire UK in 24hrs if we let Aldi checkout assistants run the testing centres

LeftfootlegendGooner
Posts: 8508
Joined: Fri Jan 09, 2009 1:07 pm

Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Post by LeftfootlegendGooner »

A chinese kid asks his father: "Dad, why do they say all Chinese people look alike?"

He replied: "I am not your dad"

LeftfootlegendGooner
Posts: 8508
Joined: Fri Jan 09, 2009 1:07 pm

Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Post by LeftfootlegendGooner »

Just found out that there is a library in my local town centre.

They kept that quiet

LeftfootlegendGooner
Posts: 8508
Joined: Fri Jan 09, 2009 1:07 pm

Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Post by LeftfootlegendGooner »

My 4 year old son has been learning Spanish at School and he still hasn't learnt the word for please...

and I think that is poor for four.

LeftfootlegendGooner
Posts: 8508
Joined: Fri Jan 09, 2009 1:07 pm

Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Post by LeftfootlegendGooner »

My wife has been going to the gym and she is starting to look that good that I've had to tell her sister that she'd better start to get herself in shape.

LeftfootlegendGooner
Posts: 8508
Joined: Fri Jan 09, 2009 1:07 pm

Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Post by LeftfootlegendGooner »

Goal-line technology's nothing new to me. My wife's been asking me for years whether it was in or not.

LeftfootlegendGooner
Posts: 8508
Joined: Fri Jan 09, 2009 1:07 pm

Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Post by LeftfootlegendGooner »

I orgasmed in the tub last night.

The wife fucking hates when I call her that.

LeftfootlegendGooner
Posts: 8508
Joined: Fri Jan 09, 2009 1:07 pm

Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Post by LeftfootlegendGooner »

LeftfootlegendGooner wrote:
Tue Sep 22, 2020 5:51 pm
I orgasmed in the tub last night.

The wife fucking hates it when I call her that.

LeftfootlegendGooner
Posts: 8508
Joined: Fri Jan 09, 2009 1:07 pm

Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Post by LeftfootlegendGooner »

LeftfootlegendGooner wrote:
Tue Sep 22, 2020 5:51 pm
LeftfootlegendGooner wrote:
Tue Sep 22, 2020 5:51 pm
I orgasmed in the tub last night.

The wife fucking hates it when I call her that.
My editing skills are shit :lol:

LeftfootlegendGooner
Posts: 8508
Joined: Fri Jan 09, 2009 1:07 pm

Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Post by LeftfootlegendGooner »

I said I hated my wedding cake,

Then it burst into tiers

LeftfootlegendGooner
Posts: 8508
Joined: Fri Jan 09, 2009 1:07 pm

Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Post by LeftfootlegendGooner »

Phil Fodens girlfriend has forgiven him for taking a girl back to his hotel room.

Well it was either that, or get a job

LeftfootlegendGooner
Posts: 8508
Joined: Fri Jan 09, 2009 1:07 pm

Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Post by LeftfootlegendGooner »

I was a crack baby.

Unlike my brother, he was a Caesarian section.

LeftfootlegendGooner
Posts: 8508
Joined: Fri Jan 09, 2009 1:07 pm

Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Post by LeftfootlegendGooner »

Got invited to BBQ party today.

Didn't go though, I'm not even sure what kind of gender a BBQ is if I'm honest.

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