Mental health/depression issues and discussion

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rich31
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Mental health/depression issues and discussion

Postby rich31 » Wed Jul 11, 2018 5:32 pm

Hi i have noticed on a couple of other football based forums there is a place for members to discuss any mental health /depression issues they have or have had experience of and they seem pretty popular and helpful.As i am sure we all know it can help to offload,share your worries/dark times and maybe have other gooners offer advice and support to the growing amount of people suffering.I have to admit i have not thoroughly searched through the forum to see if there is already a place for this and i understand that people might just rather keep it light hearted in here ,but i think it might serve a purpose and if it helps/saves one person then its worth it.Thanks for reading and i guess from the replies i will know whether there is any appetite for it.

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DB10GOONER
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Re: Mental health/depression issues and discussion

Postby DB10GOONER » Thu Jul 12, 2018 6:26 am

We've had a few discussions on the subject but never had a dedicated thread. I think it's a great idea mate.

Hopefully it might help a few people but please don't be offended if the usual suspects take the piss. :wink:

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Re: Mental health/depression issues and discussion

Postby Allgunsblazin » Thu Jul 12, 2018 6:57 am

I was just going to stick the boot in, but I have shown great restraint.... 8)
I find it so sad to read of so many suicides, one young 18 year old girl left a club on her own gave the security man a big hug on her return to the halls of residence, and upon the return of her mates, they found she had hung herself, there were no signs, no note, fucking tragic!
I think we are just starting to recognise depression, but we have come a long way from committing depression patients to loony bins as we did in the 70's and fucking gave them ECT's, which made them worse, and I have witnessed this as a sixteen year old lad, was fucking dreadful!

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StuartL
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Re: Mental health/depression issues and discussion

Postby StuartL » Thu Jul 12, 2018 7:55 am

Good idea

I went through a period in my life where I was separated after a 16yr marriage, living in rented property, with hardly any furniture, paying maintenance, solicitors bills and for about a year it was awful.

I didn’t ever go to the doctors but probably would have been diagnosed with depression or similar - but I didn’t, and gradually managed to think / see that long term everything would be ok.

And it was, I am as happy now as I have ever been (bar 87-94 following The Arsenal :wink: :barscarf: )

Anyhoo, I now have a mate who has been off work 6 weeks, split ffom his missus etc, so can offer a word or two of advice.

I would urge anyone going through shit in their life to share it with someone, it really does help, and I know is blokes are not good at talking about emotions and feelings but give it a go :)

rich31
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Re: Mental health/depression issues and discussion

Postby rich31 » Thu Jul 12, 2018 8:00 am

We've had a few discussions on the subject but never had a dedicated thread. I think it's a great idea mate.

Hopefully it might help a few people but please don't be offended if the usual suspects take the piss. :wink:
Thanks DB10 , and even a bit of light hearted piss taking might just put a smile on someones face who needed it that day so no problem there :)

rich31
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Re: Mental health/depression issues and discussion

Postby rich31 » Thu Jul 12, 2018 8:12 am

I was just going to stick the boot in, but I have shown great restraint.... 8)
I find it so sad to read of so many suicides, one young 18 year old girl left a club on her own gave the security man a big hug on her return to the halls of residence, and upon the return of her mates, they found she had hung herself, there were no signs, no note, fucking tragic!
I think we are just starting to recognise depression, but we have come a long way from committing depression patients to loony bins as we did in the 70's and fucking gave them ECT's, which made them worse, and I have witnessed this as a sixteen year old lad, was fucking dreadful!
Hi Allgunsblazin,cheers for your comments and sorry about what you witnessed in your teens mate....hopefully as you say people and attitudes are moving in the right direction.Having said that actually getting any long term help with these kinds of issues is still hard if not impossible with the cuts etc.
As for the young girl you mentioned ,that sort of thing is exactly why i wanted to start this thread..Sometimes people hide behind a smile or find it difficult to talk to someone face to face and open up to anyone whether that be a doctor/family member etc .But possibly pouring it all out in a semi anonymous way in a place like this may help and is at least another option open to those struggling..
I sincerely hope she has found the peace she was looking for.

rich31
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Re: Mental health/depression issues and discussion

Postby rich31 » Thu Jul 12, 2018 8:18 am

Good idea

I went through a period in my life where I was separated after a 16yr marriage, living in rented property, with hardly any furniture, paying maintenance, solicitors bills and for about a year it was awful.

I didn’t ever go to the doctors but probably would have been diagnosed with depression or similar - but I didn’t, and gradually managed to think / see that long term everything would be ok.

And it was, I am as happy now as I have ever been (bar 87-94 following The Arsenal :wink: :barscarf: )

Anyhoo, I now have a mate who has been off work 6 weeks, split ffom his missus etc, so can offer a word or two of advice.

I would urge anyone going through shit in their life to share it with someone, it really does help, and I know is blokes are not good at talking about emotions and feelings but give it a go :)
Thanks StuartL. Glad you hear you came out the other side of your issues mate and have found happiness in your life again.You are so right to urge us blokes to talk if we need to and it can be quite surprising how many others can relate to what you are feeling/going through once its out there.

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StuartL
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Re: Mental health/depression issues and discussion

Postby StuartL » Thu Jul 12, 2018 7:23 pm

I was just going to stick the boot in, but I have shown great restraint.... 8)
I find it so sad to read of so many suicides, one young 18 year old girl left a club on her own gave the security man a big hug on her return to the halls of residence, and upon the return of her mates, they found she had hung herself, there were no signs, no note, fucking tragic!
I think we are just starting to recognise depression, but we have come a long way from committing depression patients to loony bins as we did in the 70's and fucking gave them ECT's, which made them worse, and I have witnessed this as a sixteen year old lad, was fucking dreadful!
Hi Allgunsblazin,cheers for your comments and sorry about what you witnessed in your teens mate....hopefully as you say people and attitudes are moving in the right direction.Having said that actually getting any long term help with these kinds of issues is still hard if not impossible with the cuts etc.
As for the young girl you mentioned ,that sort of thing is exactly why i wanted to start this thread..Sometimes people hide behind a smile or find it difficult to talk to someone face to face and open up to anyone whether that be a doctor/family member etc .But possibly pouring it all out in a semi anonymous way in a place like this may help and is at least another option open to those struggling..
I sincerely hope she has found the peace she was looking for.
Rich 31

You are very correct in saying that sharing all to a stranger on the internet is easier than actually speaking to people who know you, I was with with 4 close friends I have known well over 20 years, since I was about 19 just a few days before I was moving out, we had a long car journey down to Wembley to watch an Olympic football match and back again, yet I couldn’t find the words to broach the subject - not sure why.

I know from personal experience just how much, when you are feeling low, you need something to focus on, to look forward to, or to just have the odd message / text from somebody to let you know that you are in other peoples thoughts.

Anyone is very welcome to pm me if they want to chat, get things off their chest (not the basement variety) shame we can’t have a tea and biscuit meet up 🍪☕️

rich31
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Re: Mental health/depression issues and discussion

Postby rich31 » Fri Jul 13, 2018 9:03 am

[/quote]

Rich 31

You are very correct in saying that sharing all to a stranger on the internet is easier than actually speaking to people who know you, I was with with 4 close friends I have known well over 20 years, since I was about 19 just a few days before I was moving out, we had a long car journey down to Wembley to watch an Olympic football match and back again, yet I couldn’t find the words to broach the subject - not sure why.

I know from personal experience just how much, when you are feeling low, you need something to focus on, to look forward to, or to just have the odd message / text from somebody to let you know that you are in other peoples thoughts.

Anyone is very welcome to pm me if they want to chat, get things off their chest (not the basement variety) shame we can’t have a tea and biscuit meet up 🍪☕️
[/quote]

Cheers StuartL. I know what you mean about your car journey being the perfect opportuity but something still stopped you...for some reason many of us just find it impossible to open up face to face...i think it is a combination of shame ,fear and a belief that no one can change your situation however much you talk so what is the point.Obviously sometimes it even goes beyond that where it all hurts so much you have literally closed down which is where it becomes really dangerous.In my late teens and early 20s i had a group of 8 or 10 friends and we were all very close.We all went out often and we were always together either in smaller groups or all of us.Anyway one of us called Bob was a big part of the gang and had many many opportunities to speak to any of us at any time but instead hid behind his big smile and loveable rogue personality until one night when he left the pub ,went home and stuck a hosepipe in the exhaust of his car and sat there with a picture of his 3 year old daughter on the dashboard and killed himself...to this day we dont really know why.We have to put as many opportunities in place where people can open up as possible.
Anyway,on reflection maybe this thread was needed more towards the end of the wenger years.....it would probably been 20 pages long by now :D

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goonersid
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Re: Mental health/depression issues and discussion

Postby goonersid » Fri Jul 13, 2018 1:27 pm

We've had a few discussions on the subject but never had a dedicated thread. I think it's a great idea mate.

Hopefully it might help a few people but please don't be offended if the usual suspects take the piss. :wink:
Excellent idea and very wise to start it “post Wenger “ otherwise the forum would have gone into meltdown :wink:

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Re: Mental health/depression issues and discussion

Postby Allgunsblazin » Fri Jul 13, 2018 1:42 pm

I was just going to stick the boot in, but I have shown great restraint.... 8)
I find it so sad to read of so many suicides, one young 18 year old girl left a club on her own gave the security man a big hug on her return to the halls of residence, and upon the return of her mates, they found she had hung herself, there were no signs, no note, fucking tragic!
I think we are just starting to recognise depression, but we have come a long way from committing depression patients to loony bins as we did in the 70's and fucking gave them ECT's, which made them worse, and I have witnessed this as a sixteen year old lad, was fucking dreadful!
Hi Allgunsblazin,cheers for your comments and sorry about what you witnessed in your teens mate....hopefully as you say people and attitudes are moving in the right direction.Having said that actually getting any long term help with these kinds of issues is still hard if not impossible with the cuts etc.
As for the young girl you mentioned ,that sort of thing is exactly why i wanted to start this thread..Sometimes people hide behind a smile or find it difficult to talk to someone face to face and open up to anyone whether that be a doctor/family member etc .But possibly pouring it all out in a semi anonymous way in a place like this may help and is at least another option open to those struggling..
I sincerely hope she has found the peace she was looking for.
Yes mate, my mother had post natal depression after giving birth to a much younger sibling and they put her in a nuthouse with people who were out there if you know what I mean.... :shock:
It has taken an absolute eternity for this country to get its fucking act together and it is going in the right direction, but alas not fast enough...I do not think she ever really got over it mate, save for the drugs that were pumped into them, funny enough I even avoid paracetamol.
As for the young lady, she obviously got to a place where she did not want to be reached, her friends and the security guy at the halls will never be the same again mate. :cry: :cry: :cry:

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Re: Mental health/depression issues and discussion

Postby storrmin571 » Fri Jul 13, 2018 2:08 pm

116 123
Samaritans

Hours: 24 hours, 7 days a week
Languages: English
Website: www.samaritans.org

https://www.mind.org.uk/news-campaigns/ ... bluelight/

https://www.time-to-change.org.uk/menta ... nd-support

https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/your-me ... tting-help

I've copied and pasted a few links. If we cant help and you need professional assistance

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Bradywasking
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Re: Mental health/depression issues and discussion

Postby Bradywasking » Sat Jul 14, 2018 6:47 am

Good idea having this thread.. everyone has a story of themselves or a loved one. My own story is work related , I worked for a well known company for 15 years, 13 years of that were trouble free and unremarkable. I am a subtle fighter and will not take work related issues lying down. However I'm not an agitator and wouldn't go looking for the fight unless I had to.
In 2011 I was unfairly dumped by this company on a trumped up issue. I held my hands up and admitted to a mistake that had been made a lot of times before and since I'm sure without the ultimate sanction. I had become a thorn in the side because I and two other colleagues stood up against what we saw to be the deliberate targeting of us and the continuous erosion of our right to work with dignity.
The whole process destroyed me and left me financially and mentally on the floor.My family and friends stood by me as they believed me and in me. After two years of legal battles in a few fronts I was vindicated and paid off..
I am now working full time after five years of unemployment and austerity . I like my new job and the lads and girls I work with..Pressure free work that I can mentally switch off from when not there in work.
My wife and children saved me from I do t know what because they never stopped believing in me. The people who deliberately targeted me I can never forgive, they couldn't accept I was within my rights to defend myself and my right to work with dignity. They used the smallest indiscretion to remove me and compounded that by deliberately misleading a statutory investigation by a Government body into how they obtained and used evidence against me.
There were dark moments and there still is anger but because of the strenght of support I received from family and real friends this was turned around..it can be done, don't dismiss what you are going through at any time and equally and more importantly don't dismiss what others maybe suffering just because it may not be visible to you..

rich31
Posts: 105
Joined: Fri Jun 06, 2014 7:33 pm

Re: Mental health/depression issues and discussion

Postby rich31 » Sat Jul 14, 2018 9:00 am

I was just going to stick the boot in, but I have shown great restraint.... 8)
I find it so sad to read of so many suicides, one young 18 year old girl left a club on her own gave the security man a big hug on her return to the halls of residence, and upon the return of her mates, they found she had hung herself, there were no signs, no note, fucking tragic!
I think we are just starting to recognise depression, but we have come a long way from committing depression patients to loony bins as we did in the 70's and fucking gave them ECT's, which made them worse, and I have witnessed this as a sixteen year old lad, was fucking dreadful!
Hi Allgunsblazin,cheers for your comments and sorry about what you witnessed in your teens mate....hopefully as you say people and attitudes are moving in the right direction.Having said that actually getting any long term help with these kinds of issues is still hard if not impossible with the cuts etc.
As for the young girl you mentioned ,that sort of thing is exactly why i wanted to start this thread..Sometimes people hide behind a smile or find it difficult to talk to someone face to face and open up to anyone whether that be a doctor/family member etc .But possibly pouring it all out in a semi anonymous way in a place like this may help and is at least another option open to those struggling..
I sincerely hope she has found the peace she was looking for.
Yes mate, my mother had post natal depression after giving birth to a much younger sibling and they put her in a nuthouse with people who were out there if you know what I mean.... :shock:
It has taken an absolute eternity for this country to get its fucking act together and it is going in the right direction, but alas not fast enough...I do not think she ever really got over it mate, save for the drugs that were pumped into them, funny enough I even avoid paracetamol.
As for the young lady, she obviously got to a place where she did not want to be reached, her friends and the security guy at the halls will never be the same again mate. :cry: :cry: :cry:
Wow mate thats a powerful story about your mother.There is no doubt they used the sledgehammer to crack a nut approach in those days with little care or knowledge of the lasting effect it had on the patients.
I actually came across the story of the girl at uni on my online local news site yesterday...with 2 daughters at uni myself it was worrying and extremely sad to read. There are no words really are there :cry:

rich31
Posts: 105
Joined: Fri Jun 06, 2014 7:33 pm

Re: Mental health/depression issues and discussion

Postby rich31 » Sat Jul 14, 2018 9:08 am

Good idea having this thread.. everyone has a story of themselves or a loved one. My own story is work related , I worked for a well known company for 15 years, 13 years of that were trouble free and unremarkable. I am a subtle fighter and will not take work related issues lying down. However I'm not an agitator and wouldn't go looking for the fight unless I had to.
In 2011 I was unfairly dumped by this company on a trumped up issue. I held my hands up and admitted to a mistake that had been made a lot of times before and since I'm sure without the ultimate sanction. I had become a thorn in the side because I and two other colleagues stood up against what we saw to be the deliberate targeting of us and the continuous erosion of our right to work with dignity.
The whole process destroyed me and left me financially and mentally on the floor.My family and friends stood by me as they believed me and in me. After two years of legal battles in a few fronts I was vindicated and paid off..
I am now working full time after five years of unemployment and austerity . I like my new job and the lads and girls I work with..Pressure free work that I can mentally switch off from when not there in work.
My wife and children saved me from I do t know what because they never stopped believing in me. The people who deliberately targeted me I can never forgive, they couldn't accept I was within my rights to defend myself and my right to work with dignity. They used the smallest indiscretion to remove me and compounded that by deliberately misleading a statutory investigation by a Government body into how they obtained and used evidence against me.
There were dark moments and there still is anger but because of the strenght of support I received from family and real friends this was turned around..it can be done, don't dismiss what you are going through at any time and equally and more importantly don't dismiss what others maybe suffering just because it may not be visible to you..
Hi mate,sounds like a torrid few years there.I love your resolve in fighting the bastards and winning in the end.You stuck in there,fought on through and now have the rewards.Your story shows things can improve and it is worth fighting through the darker times.cheers mate. :high5:


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