LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
The backlash against Coronation Street's male rape storyline has led ITV bosses to consider whether it ought to drop the soap.
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
I went on a rollercoaster and the woman next to me wouldn't stop screaming.
Seriously, it was like she'd never seen a penis before!
Seriously, it was like she'd never seen a penis before!
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
I walked in with a bunch of flowers today and my wife said, "Ok, what have you done now?"
"I slept with your sister," I replied.
"What? And you think a bunch of flowers are going to make me forgive you?" she screamed.
"What the fuck are you on about?" I replied. "They're for your sister."
"I slept with your sister," I replied.
"What? And you think a bunch of flowers are going to make me forgive you?" she screamed.
"What the fuck are you on about?" I replied. "They're for your sister."
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
As the sperm dripped down my wife's chin, I looked in her eyes and asked " Do you like that ? "
"No" She relied. " What the fuck is in this sandwich ? "
"No" She relied. " What the fuck is in this sandwich ? "
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
A vegan said to me, "People who sell meat are disgusting!"
I said, "People who sell fruit and vegetables are grocer."
I said, "People who sell fruit and vegetables are grocer."
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Turn a regular sofa into a sofa bed by simply forgetting your wife’s birthday.
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
'Alpacin Caffeine shampoo, German engineering for your hair'
Anyone else concerned about trusting German shower products
Anyone else concerned about trusting German shower products
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
A priest has a heart attack, and is rushed to the hospital. He wakes up as he's being rushed through the hospital on a gurney by two nurses.
"Am I in heaven?" asks the disoriented priest. "No" says one of the nurses. "We're just taking a short cut through the children's ward."
"Am I in heaven?" asks the disoriented priest. "No" says one of the nurses. "We're just taking a short cut through the children's ward."
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
If you're here for the yodelling lesson, please form an orderly orderly orderly orderly queue.
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
There was outrage today as mobile phone footage shows an innocent passenger being dragged onto a Ryanair flight.
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
I was in an American school library recently, going through a few magazines.
Then my fucking rifle jammed.
Then my fucking rifle jammed.
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
I need to re-home a dog. It's a small terrier, and tends to bark a lot. If you're interested, let me know and I'll jump over next door's fence and get it for you.
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
My mate from Liverpool has started working in a local slaughterhouse, stunning the animals.
They've never seen a scouser with a job.
They've never seen a scouser with a job.
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
In light of the recent events in Korea, the French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide."
The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender."
The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralysing the country's military capability.
The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender."
The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralysing the country's military capability.
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Got asked the time by a Yodel delivery driver earlier.
I told him it was sometime between 8am and 6pm
I told him it was sometime between 8am and 6pm