CoronaVirus / Adolf Putin / The Apocalypse etc

[goonersid]

I shall roll the dice this evening.

Anyone got a couch I can crash on if the shit hits the proverbial?

I suppose it’s sort of like a thong, but for your face

[rodders999]

I shall roll the dice this evening.

Anyone got a couch I can crash on if the shit hits the proverbial?

I suppose it’s sort of like a thong, but for your face

I actually hadn't thought of it like that, but now that you've put it that way it I shall go away and think about it.....privately....and frantically

[goonersid]

I shall roll the dice this evening.

Anyone got a couch I can crash on if the shit hits the proverbial?

I suppose it’s sort of like a thong, but for your face

I actually hadn't thought of it like that, but now that you've put it that way it I shall go away and think about it.....privately....and frantically

Well, it does cover a pair of pink lips and I suppose a tongue is similar to that little flappy bit!

[StuartL]

The mask fetish is now at such fever pitch that I’d rather go to Tesco’s than a titty bar.

Her indoors is even starting to become suspicious as to why I’m always volunteering to pop down the shops, she probably thinks I’m having it off with one of the checkout girls down the frozen food aisle, but alas not, it’s a simpler vice that’s gotten hold of dear old Roddaz.

Absolute worldies in masks (non surgical) pushing their trolleys around, bending over to pick up an item off the bottom shelf allowing their ample bosoms to become partially exposed from their plunging tops and it’s clean up on aisle 3 after the mess I made in my undies.

As we’re on the subject how would one go about convincing one’s significant other to don a mask while making the beast with two backs?

Simple Roddaz me ole muck, just tell her that you love her so much that you want to ensure that she is given no Covid related infections and so just to be 101% certain could she wear a mask, and the special nurses outfit you have bought for her, Oh! And while she's at it wear a pair of latex gloves covered in lube!.

Sorted.

Did you really just call Rodders your “ole muck “ ?

[DB10GOONER]

I shall roll the dice this evening.

Anyone got a couch I can crash on if the shit hits the proverbial?

FFS roddaz are you mental? Start with the mask and see how that goes. Talking her into a brown shower is a whole different ballgame buddy!

[DB10GOONER]

The mask fetish is now at such fever pitch that I’d rather go to Tesco’s than a titty bar.

Her indoors is even starting to become suspicious as to why I’m always volunteering to pop down the shops, she probably thinks I’m having it off with one of the checkout girls down the frozen food aisle, but alas not, it’s a simpler vice that’s gotten hold of dear old Roddaz.

Absolute worldies in masks (non surgical) pushing their trolleys around, bending over to pick up an item off the bottom shelf allowing their ample bosoms to become partially exposed from their plunging tops and it’s clean up on aisle 3 after the mess I made in my undies.

As we’re on the subject how would one go about convincing one’s significant other to don a mask while making the beast with two backs?

Simple Roddaz me ole muck, just tell her that you love her so much that you want to ensure that she is given no Covid related infections and so just to be 101% certain could she wear a mask, and the special nurses outfit you have bought for her, Oh! And while she's at it wear a pair of latex gloves covered in lube!.

Sorted.

Did you really just call Rodders your “ole muck “ ?

Methinks OneBard looks upon roddaz much as he looks upon his favourite crunchy sock.....

[StuartL]

The mask fetish is now at such fever pitch that I’d rather go to Tesco’s than a titty bar.

Her indoors is even starting to become suspicious as to why I’m always volunteering to pop down the shops, she probably thinks I’m having it off with one of the checkout girls down the frozen food aisle, but alas not, it’s a simpler vice that’s gotten hold of dear old Roddaz.

Absolute worldies in masks (non surgical) pushing their trolleys around, bending over to pick up an item off the bottom shelf allowing their ample bosoms to become partially exposed from their plunging tops and it’s clean up on aisle 3 after the mess I made in my undies.

As we’re on the subject how would one go about convincing one’s significant other to don a mask while making the beast with two backs?

Simple Roddaz me ole muck, just tell her that you love her so much that you want to ensure that she is given no Covid related infections and so just to be 101% certain could she wear a mask, and the special nurses outfit you have bought for her, Oh! And while she's at it wear a pair of latex gloves covered in lube!.

Sorted.

Did you really just call Rodders your “ole muck “ ?

Methinks OneBard looks upon roddaz much as he looks upon his favourite crunchy sock.....

Ah bless.....that’s as close to true love as you get

[OneBardGooner]

Feck Off the lot of yers...It was a typo it was meant to be Mucka! as in mate

[OneBardGooner]

The mask fetish is now at such fever pitch that I’d rather go to Tesco’s than a titty bar.

Her indoors is even starting to become suspicious as to why I’m always volunteering to pop down the shops, she probably thinks I’m having it off with one of the checkout girls down the frozen food aisle, but alas not, it’s a simpler vice that’s gotten hold of dear old Roddaz.

Absolute worldies in masks (non surgical) pushing their trolleys around, bending over to pick up an item off the bottom shelf allowing their ample bosoms to become partially exposed from their plunging tops and it’s clean up on aisle 3 after the mess I made in my undies.

As we’re on the subject how would one go about convincing one’s significant other to don a mask while making the beast with two backs?

Simple Roddaz me ole muck, just tell her that you love her so much that you want to ensure that she is given no Covid related infections and so just to be 101% certain could she wear a mask, and the special nurses outfit you have bought for her, Oh! And while she's at it wear a pair of latex gloves covered in lube!.

Sorted.

You've really put some serious thought in to this OGB, for those of us of the attached persuasion can I just say many thanks

I was just repeating what I said to my missus and somehow she believed me!


Happy Days.

[rodders999]

I shall roll the dice this evening.

Anyone got a couch I can crash on if the shit hits the proverbial?

FFS roddaz are you mental? Start with the mask and see how that goes. Talking her into a brown shower is a whole different ballgame buddy!

There’s a lad in a WhatsApp group I’m in with a bit of a penchant for scat porn. Fucking hell the people who end up in that part of the industry need to re-evaluate their life choices, that stuff is fucking grim. Scarred for life after watching a few of those vids

[wibble]

I shall roll the dice this evening.

Anyone got a couch I can crash on if the shit hits the proverbial?

FFS roddaz are you mental? Start with the mask and see how that goes. Talking her into a brown shower is a whole different ballgame buddy!

There’s a lad in a WhatsApp group I’m in with a bit of a penchant for scat porn. Fucking hell the people who end up in that part of the industry need to re-evaluate their life choices, that stuff is fucking grim. Scarred for life after watching a few of those vids

I note you say ‘a few’ and not just one. Kept watching just to double check?

[rodders999]

In my defence you never really know what you’re letting yourself in for on those chats until you actually press play on the video. It could be something mildly amusing or something plain stupid or maybe it will just be a regular porn clip with some hottie taking a pounding.

Life is like a box of chocolates you never know what you’re gonna get I suppose, except inevitably one of those chocolates is going to turn out to be some geezer taking a massive shit all over some poor c.unts face

[DB10GOONER]

In my defence you never really know what you’re letting yourself in for on those chats until you actually press play on the video. It could be something mildly amusing or something plain stupid or maybe it will just be a regular porn clip with some hottie taking a pounding.

Life is like a box of chocolates you never know what you’re gonna get I suppose, except inevitably one of those chocolates is going to turn out to be some geezer taking a massive shit all over some poor c.unts face

Well one life lesson I learned is never never open a whatsapp video from my footy teammates on public transport whilst listening to a separate ipod device and forgetting your phone media volume is on loud.

[wibble]

Life is like a box of chocolates you never know what you’re gonna get I suppose, except inevitably one of those chocolates is going to turn out to be some geezer taking a massive shit all over some poor c.unts face

Remember to quote your source rodders. I mean, we all know it’s from Forrest Gump but it still pisses off DB10

It also gives a new meaning to the line ‘runs, Forest, runs’

[DB10GOONER]

Life is like a box of chocolates you never know what you’re gonna get I suppose, except inevitably one of those chocolates is going to turn out to be some geezer taking a massive shit all over some poor c.unts face

Remember to quote your source rodders. I mean, we all know it’s from Forrest Gump but it still pisses off DB10

It also gives a new meaning to the line ‘runs, Forest, runs’

Racist.