LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

LeftfootlegendGooner · Wed Feb 14, 2024 12:45 am

A tall bloke stopped and asked me for directions today.....

He looked like a goalkeeper so I sent him the wrong way.

LeftfootlegendGooner · Wed Feb 14, 2024 12:49 am

I have piles and piles of ironing to do.

I don't know which is worse.

LeftfootlegendGooner · Wed Feb 14, 2024 12:51 am

"Any last requests before we shoot you?" Yes........

I'd like Rosie Jones to read me War And Peace!

LeftfootlegendGooner · Wed Feb 14, 2024 12:56 am

Scientists have recently discovered that the first 2 humans on earth were actually cockneys!

Would you Adam and Eve it!

LeftfootlegendGooner · Wed Feb 14, 2024 12:40 pm

BBC patiently awaiting call from Hamas to see what they should print today.

OneBardGooner · Post by **OneBardGooner** » Wed Feb 14, 2024 12:55 pm

"Thank-You" Lefty I needed that... All Good and that last one Fucking Ace!

LeftfootlegendGooner · Wed Feb 14, 2024 1:52 pm

What's the difference between weed and pussy?

If you can smell the weed from the other side of the room it's decent

LeftfootlegendGooner · Wed Feb 14, 2024 1:54 pm

OneBardGooner wrote: ↑
Wed Feb 14, 2024 12:55 pm

"Thank-You" Lefty I needed that... All Good and that last one Fucking Ace!

Cheers man, have been hectic lately with many things going on but hopefully I will get some free time to post more rubbish jokes

LeftfootlegendGooner · Wed Feb 14, 2024 3:53 pm

My next door neighbours dog keeps trying to mount anything that moves...it's a Jack Russell brand

LeftfootlegendGooner · Wed Feb 14, 2024 3:57 pm

I've got a date with a girl from Thailand tonight.

I just hope I don't end up blowing it.

LeftfootlegendGooner · Wed Feb 14, 2024 4:00 pm

It's strange to think that in a few years time the number one cause of death among female Olympic gold winning athletes could be prostate cancer.

LeftfootlegendGooner · Wed Feb 14, 2024 4:06 pm

I once went with a blind prostitute, "wow your huge" she said

"Ha" I replied, "your pulling my leg"

OneBardGooner · Post by **OneBardGooner** » Wed Feb 14, 2024 4:14 pm

Definitely NOT Rubbish mate they Always Cheer Me up !

Hope you are well!

LeftfootlegendGooner · Wed Feb 14, 2024 4:45 pm

The Whitehouse have announce that Joe Biden will be in the 3 states today...

Unconcious, Semi-Concious, and Confused.

LeftfootlegendGooner · Wed Feb 14, 2024 4:46 pm

Dear Deidre I've been identifying as a woman for six months now and my periods still haven't started.

Is there something wrong with me?