Two planes full of Liverpool supporters have taken off from John Lennon airport. They're on their way to Haiti to help out with the looting.

At the end of a tiny deserted bar is a huge scouse bloke - 6ft 5in tall and 22 stones.
He's having a few beers when a short, well dressed and obviously gay man walks in and sits beside him.
After 3 or 4 beers, the queer guy finally plucks up the courage to say something to the big Liverpudlian ...