Prince Charles is visiting an Edinburgh hospital. He enters a ward full of patients with no obvious sign of injury or illness and greets one. The patient replies: "Fair fa your honest sonsie face, Great chieftain o the puddin race, Aboon them a ye take yer place, Painch, tripe or thairm, As lan...

An elderly couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other if there is sex after death. Their biggest fear was that there was no "after life" at all. After a long life together, Frank was the first to die. True to his word, he made the first contact: "K...

Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there for a number of years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that he had a terrible compulsion. He had an urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer. His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist to talk about it, but ...

Trump dies from the virus. He goes to Hell where the Devil is waiting for him. "I don't know what to do," says the Devil. "You're on my list but I have no room for you. But you definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I've got three people here who weren't ...

A teenage boy was delivering papers to an apartment house. While there, a stunning young woman came out of the apartment next to the mailboxes wearing only a robe. The boy smiled at the young woman and she started up a conversation with him. As they talked, her robe slipped open, and it was obvious ...

There was an earthquake in Dublin yesterday and a nine story hotel collapsed to the ground.Firefighters,public,police rushed to the scene and started going through all the rubble.Anybody there called a policeman,no answer,they carried on,after 4 hours someone shouted "Stop Shush", the area...

A very pretty young speech therapist was getting absolutely nowhere with her 3 male Stammer’s Action Group. She had tried every technique in the book, but still they stammered and stuttered. Finally, totally exasperated, she said: "If any of you can tell me where you were born, without stutteri...

An ex marine decides to have a face-lift for his birthday. He spends £5,000 and feels really good about the results. On his way home he stops at a news agents and buys a paper. Before leaving he says to the sales person, "I hope you don't mind me asking, but how old do you think I am ?" &q...

While riding my Harley, I swerved to to avoid hitting a deer, lost control and landed in a ditch, severely banging my head. Dazed and confused I crawled out of the ditch to the edge of the road when a shiny new convertible pulled up with a very beautiful woman who asked, "Are you okay?As I look...

A lady decided to give herself a big treat for her 90th birthday by staying overnight in a really nice luxurious hotel.. When she checked out the next morning, the desk clerk handed her a bill for £250.00. She demanded to know why the charge was so high "I agree it's a nice hotel, but the rooms...

53,000 Scousers meet in Anfield for a 'Scousers Are Not Stupid' convention. Steven Gerrard addresses the crowd.. 'We are all here today to prove to the world that Scousers are not stupid. Can I have a volunteer please?' Wayne Rooney gingerly works his way through the crowd and steps up to the stage....

Sean Connery was interviewed by Michael Parkinson and bragged that despite being 72 years of age, he could still have Sex three times a Night..?!?!? Cilla Black, who was also a guest, looked intrigued..?? After the show, Cilla says, "Sean darlin , if I'm not bein too forward, I'd luv to 'ave se...

FIRST TIME SEX A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night to meet, and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time. The boy is ecstatic, but he has never had se...

The Hooker A guy is walking the strip in Vegas when a fantastic looking hooker catches his eye. He strikes up a conversation and eventually asks, "How much do you charge?" The hooker replies, "I start at $500 for a hand job." The guy says, "$500 for a hand job? Holy crap, no...

A successful London banker parked his brand new Porsche in front of the office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he got out, a bus came along too close to the curb and completely tore off the driver's side. The banker immediately whipped out his phone and dialed 999. The police were there ...