Search found 353 matches

by Postman
Wed Jan 04, 2023 5:23 pm
Forum: The Cannonballs
Topic: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Replies: 3164
Views: 639173

Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Peter had been in Police work for 25 years. Finally sick of the stress, he quits his job and buys fifty acres of land in Alaska as far away from humanity as possible... He sees the postman once a week and gets groceries once a month... Otherwise, it's total peace and quiet. After six months or so of...
by Postman
Fri Aug 26, 2022 6:41 pm
Forum: The Cannonballs
Topic: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Replies: 3164
Views: 639173

Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

A little boy and his grandfather are raking leaves in the yard. The little boy sees an earthworm trying to get back into its hole. He says, "Grandpa, I bet I can put that worm back in that hole." The grandfather replies, "I'll bet you five dollars you can't. It's too wiggly and limp t...
by Postman
Thu Jul 21, 2022 6:49 am
Forum: The Cannonballs
Topic: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Replies: 3164
Views: 639173

Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

A man was getting a haircut prior to a trip to Rome. He mentioned the trip to the barber, who responded, “Why would anyone want to go there? It’s crowded and dirty and full of Italians. You’re crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?” “We’re taking United,” was the reply. “We got a great ...
by Postman
Sun Jul 10, 2022 7:51 am
Forum: The Cannonballs
Topic: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Replies: 3164
Views: 639173

Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

I was a very happy man. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year and so we decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me, it was her beautiful younger sister: My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts and generally was bra-les...
by Postman
Sun Jul 03, 2022 7:57 pm
Forum: The Cannonballs
Topic: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Replies: 3164
Views: 639173

Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Paddy and Mick were both laid off, so they went to the unemployment office. When asked his occupation, Paddy answered, 'Knicker Stitcher.. I sew da elastic onto ladies' knickers and thongs..' The clerk looked up Knicker Stitcher on his computer and, finding it classified as unskilled labour, he gave...
by Postman
Mon Jun 20, 2022 6:28 pm
Forum: The Cannonballs
Topic: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Replies: 3164
Views: 639173

Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

The year is 2222, and Paddy and Mary land on Mars after accumulating enough frequent Flier miles. They meet a Martian couple and are talking about all sorts of things. Paddy asks if Mars has a stock market, if they have laptop computers, how they make money, etc. Finally, Mary brings up the subject ...
by Postman
Fri Apr 22, 2022 6:01 pm
Forum: The Cannonballs
Topic: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Replies: 3164
Views: 639173

Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

While riding my bike yesterday, I swerved to avoid hitting a deer, lost control and landed in a ditch, severely banging my head. Dazed and confused I crawled out of the ditch to the edge of the road when a shiny new convertible pulled up with a very beautiful woman who asked, "Are you okay?&quo...
by Postman
Fri Dec 31, 2021 10:34 am
Forum: The Cannonballs
Topic: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Replies: 3164
Views: 639173

Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

A Man goes into a Bakers and asks for 2 Bread Rolls..?? The Shop Man picks them up with the Tongs and puts them in a Paper Bag, He then asks for 2 Cakes the Shop Man picks them up with the Tongs and puts them in the Bag. The Man says :- "It’s nice to see you don’t Handle the Food".. The Sh...
by Postman
Sat Nov 20, 2021 8:08 am
Forum: The Cannonballs
Topic: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Replies: 3164
Views: 639173

Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

A woman had a dog which was a female and in heat, agreed to look after her neighbour’s male dog while they were away on holiday. She had a large house and believed that she could keep the two dogs apart: However, as she was drifting off to sleep she heard awful howling and moaning sounds, rushed dow...
by Postman
Tue Nov 09, 2021 9:03 am
Forum: The Cannonballs
Topic: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Replies: 3164
Views: 639173

Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

My wife as left me after i blew all our savings on a penis extension, she's left me a note saying, "She can't take it any longer!
by Postman
Wed Oct 06, 2021 1:13 pm
Forum: The Cannonballs
Topic: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Replies: 3164
Views: 639173

Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

The missus and I decided to take an organised coach trip to Afghanistan to see for ourselves what the place was like. It didn't start well when the coach we where travelling on broke down a few miles east of the capital. We were stranded in a third world dump with streets full of angry bearded types...
by Postman
Wed Sep 22, 2021 7:33 am
Forum: The Cannonballs
Topic: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Replies: 3164
Views: 639173

Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

A man walks into a bar. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a little man, maybe a foot tall, and a little piano. He puts them both on the bar and the little guy starts playing Mozart as the man orders his drink. The bartender says "I'm sure it's none of my business, but where did you find ...
by Postman
Wed Jun 23, 2021 8:04 am
Forum: The Cannonballs
Topic: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Replies: 3164
Views: 639173

Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

A man was in a long queue at his local supermarket. As he got to the register he realised he had forgotten to get condoms, so he asked the checkout girl if she could have some brought up to the register: She asked. "What size condoms?" The customer replied that he didn’t know. She asked hi...
by Postman
Sun Jun 13, 2021 9:49 am
Forum: The Cannonballs
Topic: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Replies: 3164
Views: 639173

Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Sean Connery was interviewed by Michael Parkinson, and bragged that despite his 72 years of age, he could still have sex three times a night. Lulu, who was also a guest, looked intrigued: After the show, Lulu said. "Sean, if Ah’m no bein too forward, Ah’d lovetae hae sex wi an aulder man. Let’s...
by Postman
Tue Jun 08, 2021 8:27 am
Forum: The Cannonballs
Topic: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Replies: 3164
Views: 639173

Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

The Pope was having a shower. Although he's very strict about celibacy, he occasionally felt he needed to exercise the papal wrist, and this happened to be one of those occasions. Just as he reached the Papal climax, he saw a photographer taking a picture of the Holy semen flying through the air. &q...