I like the Torres song to the same tune as Eduardo's

He's half a boy and half a girl Torres Torres
He looks just like a transvestite Torres Torres
He wears a frock
He loves the cock
He sells his arse on Albert Dock
Fernando Torres Carraghers bit on the side

Or Carlos Tevez

His neck scar proves he ...

Guy's first time posting on here so be kind lol,

I came up with (to the tetris tune)

Give him the ball and the boy will score a goal
cos his name is andrei arshavin oi


Repeat repeat you get the idea....