Search found 10326 matches
- Wed Apr 24, 2024 5:07 pm
- Forum: The Cannonballs
- Topic: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
- Replies: 3275
- Views: 686954
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
I said to the wife 'I've got a problem.' She replied 'No, we have a problem, we're a couple, we're married, we're a unit, your problem is my problem we're in this together.' Overwhelmed with relief I said 'its hardly worth mentioning now.' But she was insistent on knowing, 'what is the problem?' I t...
- Wed Apr 24, 2024 5:05 pm
- Forum: The Cannonballs
- Topic: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
- Replies: 3275
- Views: 686954
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
To the Scumbag that stole 300 cans of RedBull from my shop.
I don't know how you can sleep at night.
I don't know how you can sleep at night.
- Wed Apr 24, 2024 5:04 pm
- Forum: The Cannonballs
- Topic: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
- Replies: 3275
- Views: 686954
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Phoned the Tinnitus helpline earlier but it just kept ringing...
- Wed Apr 24, 2024 5:03 pm
- Forum: The Cannonballs
- Topic: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
- Replies: 3275
- Views: 686954
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
I had a dream I was swimming in a giant ocean of orange soda.
Turned out to be a Fanta sea.
Turned out to be a Fanta sea.
- Wed Apr 24, 2024 5:00 pm
- Forum: The Cannonballs
- Topic: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
- Replies: 3275
- Views: 686954
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
A mother takes her four year old daughter into the bank and the little girl goes up to the counter and says " as I now have a job I would like to open a bank account" the manager replies oh what sort of a job do you have?" The little girl replies " I have a job on a building site...
- Wed Apr 24, 2024 4:57 pm
- Forum: The Cannonballs
- Topic: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
- Replies: 3275
- Views: 686954
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
A woman says to her doctor doctor "I have two green marks on the inside of my thighs" The doctor had a look and said. "Is your boyfriend a Gypsy?"
I said "Yes, why?"
He said, "Tell him his earrings aren't real gold."
I said "Yes, why?"
He said, "Tell him his earrings aren't real gold."
- Wed Apr 24, 2024 4:55 pm
- Forum: The Cannonballs
- Topic: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
- Replies: 3275
- Views: 686954
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Men. Examine your own prostate by simply wiping your arse with Aldi value toilet roll.
- Wed Apr 24, 2024 4:55 pm
- Forum: The Cannonballs
- Topic: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
- Replies: 3275
- Views: 686954
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
The wife was getting dressed up for a night out with her mates, walked into the lounge and asked me to rate her.
"8 or 9 at least." I said.
"Out of 10?" she smiled... "Thanks, Babe, I'm flattered."
Didn't have the heart to tell her I meant pints.
"8 or 9 at least." I said.
"Out of 10?" she smiled... "Thanks, Babe, I'm flattered."
Didn't have the heart to tell her I meant pints.
- Tue Apr 23, 2024 10:38 pm
- Forum: On the Terraces
- Topic: Chavski cocks H Tue 23rd April KO 8pm
- Replies: 387
- Views: 3525
Re: Chavski cocks H Tue 23rd April KO 8pm
Brilliant, my youngest brother and I going mental, said to him after the second goal we can score four or five, we could have got seven
- Tue Apr 23, 2024 4:41 pm
- Forum: The Cannonballs
- Topic: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
- Replies: 3275
- Views: 686954
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
I've just bought a house with old period features.
She fucking hates it when I call her that.
She fucking hates it when I call her that.
- Tue Apr 23, 2024 4:41 pm
- Forum: The Cannonballs
- Topic: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
- Replies: 3275
- Views: 686954
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Wife texts husband at work on a cold winters morning: "
Windows frozen."
Husband texts back: "Pour some lukewarm water over it"
Wife texts back: "Computer completely fucked now."
Windows frozen."
Husband texts back: "Pour some lukewarm water over it"
Wife texts back: "Computer completely fucked now."
- Tue Apr 23, 2024 4:11 pm
- Forum: The Cannonballs
- Topic: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
- Replies: 3275
- Views: 686954
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Glad you like them guys
- Mon Apr 22, 2024 6:13 pm
- Forum: The Cannonballs
- Topic: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
- Replies: 3275
- Views: 686954
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
I'm not saying you should totally distrust the internet, but there's a huge discrepancy between the number of iPads I've won,
and the number of iPads i own
and the number of iPads i own
- Mon Apr 22, 2024 6:13 pm
- Forum: The Cannonballs
- Topic: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
- Replies: 3275
- Views: 686954
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
What they should really say on those cooking shows: "Hello and welcome to 'Pointless Cooking That Has Nothing To Do With Anyone's Actual Life'. Today, we are making a very complicated recipe, using ingredients you don't have, utensils you've never heard of, and in a kitchen that is bigger than ...
- Mon Apr 22, 2024 6:12 pm
- Forum: The Cannonballs
- Topic: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
- Replies: 3275
- Views: 686954
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Jokes about sugar are rare.
Jokes about brown sugar - Demerara.
Jokes about brown sugar - Demerara.