The Xhakatard Caption Competition!

As we're unlikely to see terraces again at football, this is the virtual equivalent where you can chat to your hearts content about all football matters and, obviously, Arsenal in particular. This forum encourages all Gooners to visit and contribute so please keep it respectful, clean and topical.
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DB10GOONER
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The Xhakatard Caption Competition!

Post by DB10GOONER »

Mercurial talent, true leader, midfield dynamo, a man of the fans, Legend, footballing Jedi, member of Mensa, fearless warrior.... just some of the things Xhakatard has never been called, the poor precious little snowflake. :(

So to cheer him up and take his mind off all the "unfair" criticism he has received, let's give him his own caption competition. Winner gets a copy of Poppa Roddaz's new DVD "The wanksock, the whole wanksock, and nothing but the wanksock". 8)

Image

"Huh? Don't give it to me! What am I gonna do with it? Back to the keeper! Back to the keeper!"

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GoonerMuzz
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Re: The Xhakatard Caption Competition!

Post by GoonerMuzz »

With no sense of irony he is telling Linda:

"My footballing ability stretches from here all the way over there!"

marka123
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Re: The Xhakatard Caption Competition!

Post by marka123 »

The opposition players that just went past me? They went that way!

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DB10GOONER
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Re: The Xhakatard Caption Competition!

Post by DB10GOONER »

marka123 wrote:
Mon Mar 29, 2021 8:07 pm
The opposition players that just went past me? They went that way!
:lol: :lol:

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IW8Goalmachine
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Re: The Xhakatard Caption Competition!

Post by IW8Goalmachine »

What do you mean the ball is supposed to go that way?

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Nos89
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Re: The Xhakatard Caption Competition!

Post by Nos89 »

"It was his fault, not mine"

John F
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Re: The Xhakatard Caption Competition!

Post by John F »

" Mikel look how clever I am ,I have written down your instructions on my arm.The only trouble is I have to keep stopping every 30 seconds so I can look at them".

Clash
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Re: The Xhakatard Caption Competition!

Post by Clash »

Image
In response to being asked by an officer to identify the man with the vendetta against him (a moderator on a leading Arsenal forum) Granit Xhaka picks him out of the crowd ''that's him, that's the man who keeps picking on me!''


Later in court:
Prosecution barrister: So Mr Xhaka you say you have been victimised by the accused for a number of years?
Xhaka: Yes
Prosecution barrister: Can you give some examples to the court?
Xhaka: I have been christened Xhakatard, clubfoot, called a crunt, a clown, been labelled as the worst player in the clubs history. Had a derogatory thread dedicated just to me. Even a caption competition based on a slur
Prosecution barrister: what kind of slur?
Xhaka: That I am only good at pointing
Prosecution barrister: I see. And tell us Mr Xhaka, have you or have you not made any attempt to befriend this man ?
Xhaka: I have
Prosecution barrister: Go on
Xhaka: I joined the forum where he is a moderator
Prosecution barrister: Oh really?
Xhaka: I signed up under the name WENGERS_HAT
Prosecution barrister: And how was you received?
Xhaka: I was banned after a day
Prosecution barrister: M'lud, ladies, gentleman and members of the jury, I think we need hear no more of this tale of spiteful, unmerited victimisation. I urge you to consider the gravest of punishments for this moderator for the pain and distress he has caused a talented and popular sportsman. I rest my case.

Defence barrister: My client has chosen not to speak but will instead present a montage of Mr Xhaka's on field exploits.

Just minutes into the video the Judge can look no more and gives his verdict: CASE DISMISSED!
Image

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DB10GOONER
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Re: The Xhakatard Caption Competition!

Post by DB10GOONER »

Clash wrote:
Tue Mar 30, 2021 8:58 pm
Image
In response to being asked by an officer to identify the man with the vendetta against him (a moderator on a leading Arsenal forum) Granit Xhaka picks him out of the crowd ''that's him, that's the man who keeps picking on me!''


Later in court:
Prosecution barrister: So Mr Xhaka you say you have been victimised by the accused for a number of years?
Xhaka: Yes
Prosecution barrister: Can you give some examples to the court?
Xhaka: I have been christened Xhakatard, clubfoot, called a crunt, a clown, been labelled as the worst player in the clubs history. Had a derogatory thread dedicated just to me. Even a caption competition based on a slur
Prosecution barrister: what kind of slur?
Xhaka: That I am only good at pointing
Prosecution barrister: I see. And tell us Mr Xhaka, have you or have you not made any attempt to befriend this man ?
Xhaka: I have
Prosecution barrister: Go on
Xhaka: I joined the forum where he is a moderator
Prosecution barrister: Oh really?
Xhaka: I signed up under the name WENGERS_HAT
Prosecution barrister: And how was you received?
Xhaka: I was banned after a day
Prosecution barrister: M'lud, ladies, gentleman and members of the jury, I think we need hear no more of this tale of spiteful, unmerited victimisation. I urge you to consider the gravest of punishments for this moderator for the pain and distress he has caused a talented and popular sportsman. I rest my case.

Defence barrister: My client has chosen not to speak but will instead present a montage of Mr Xhaka's on field exploits.

Just minutes into the video the Judge can look no more and gives his verdict: CASE DISMISSED!
Image
:coffeespit: :lol: :lol: :barscarf:

Pmsl here mate - quality stuff! 8)

Guilty as charged m'lud. :D

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Midz
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Re: The Xhakatard Caption Competition!

Post by Midz »

:D :D

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SteveO 35
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Re: The Xhakatard Caption Competition!

Post by SteveO 35 »

"Yeah yeah Lionel.........fuck off Cristiano............when the pair of you can point like this you know you've made it"

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OneBardGooner
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Re: The Xhakatard Caption Competition!

Post by OneBardGooner »

Clash wrote:
Tue Mar 30, 2021 8:58 pm
Image
In response to being asked by an officer to identify the man with the vendetta against him (a moderator on a leading Arsenal forum) Granit Xhaka picks him out of the crowd ''that's him, that's the man who keeps picking on me!''


Later in court:
Prosecution barrister: So Mr Xhaka you say you have been victimised by the accused for a number of years?
Xhaka: Yes
Prosecution barrister: Can you give some examples to the court?
Xhaka: I have been christened Xhakatard, clubfoot, called a crunt, a clown, been labelled as the worst player in the clubs history. Had a derogatory thread dedicated just to me. Even a caption competition based on a slur
Prosecution barrister: what kind of slur?
Xhaka: That I am only good at pointing
Prosecution barrister: I see. And tell us Mr Xhaka, have you or have you not made any attempt to befriend this man ?
Xhaka: I have
Prosecution barrister: Go on
Xhaka: I joined the forum where he is a moderator
Prosecution barrister: Oh really?
Xhaka: I signed up under the name WENGERS_HAT
Prosecution barrister: And how was you received?
Xhaka: I was banned after a day
Prosecution barrister: M'lud, ladies, gentleman and members of the jury, I think we need hear no more of this tale of spiteful, unmerited victimisation. I urge you to consider the gravest of punishments for this moderator for the pain and distress he has caused a talented and popular sportsman. I rest my case.

Defence barrister: My client has chosen not to speak but will instead present a montage of Mr Xhaka's on field exploits.

Just minutes into the video the Judge can look no more and gives his verdict: CASE DISMISSED!
Image
I think we have a WINNER! :high5: superb Clash. :barscarf:

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