The Gooner Forum

If the Indian variant doesn't get named Vindaflu I'm giving up on humanity.

France have lost more to Corona than on the WW2 battlefields.

Mind you they've lost more to hayfever than on WW2 battlefields.

When we were kids, we played football on the shore at Beachy Head.

Ahh, the good old days, jumpers for goalposts.

LeftfootlegendGooner wrote: ↑

Tue Jul 27, 2021 8:39 pm

What's the difference between Ryan Giggs and a Tesla?

The Tesla gets fewer battery charges in a year.

Some top quality ones there Lefty but particularly love that one!

New research shows porn gives young people an unrealistic and unhealthy idea of how quickly a plumber will come to your house.

DB10GOONER wrote: ↑

Wed Jul 28, 2021 6:55 am

LeftfootlegendGooner wrote: ↑

Tue Jul 27, 2021 8:39 pm

What's the difference between Ryan Giggs and a Tesla?

The Tesla gets fewer battery charges in a year.

Some top quality ones there Lefty but particularly love that one!

Thought that you would appreciate that one mate

Me : Can I borrow the new book about Cockney swearwords?

Librarian : You can't.

Me : Yeah, that's the one

Anyone know a cure for sex addiction?

I've tried fucking everything.

"What seems to be the problem?," asked the doc. "Well," I said, "the entrance to my arse is sore."

"That's probably because you call it the entrance," he replied.

I successfully managed to get both my parents into the same Nursing home.

A bit of revenge for them divorcing when I was six.

The fashion for shortening names of dishes like Spag Bol is probably why my Catalan Shitake Paella never took off

Eight hours into the annual Gillette business strategy meeting...

"Fuck it... Let's just stick another blade on it."

There is a way to put the genders into two categories in a way that does not exclude trans people etc

1. People stupid enough to believe in horoscope shite 2. Men

I am trying to be more politically correct these days; the wife burnt the dinner, so I gave her an ‘eye of colour’

Me: “Excuse me, are these ‘genetically modified’ carrots?”

Grocer: “No, why do you ask?”

Carrot: “Yeah, why do you ask?”