That one IS funny!!KAQAK wrote:A voice in airplain notifies that a plane is going to crash, all pasangers please place your pasaports between your teeth, it will be easy to identify the bodys after the crash.
New joke thread
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DB10GOONER
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Re: AIRPLANE CRASH
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I Hate Hleb
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Kaqak,KAQAK wrote:Maybe but ill never write again, just read.
Please don't be upset with the above comments.
The truth is some jokes don't translate well, and the fact that English isn't your first language made it even harder to understand the jokes you wrote above. The people that criticised you should have realised that and just let it go. Especially when their own posts are littered with spelling mistakes - and English is their FIRST language!!
Listen matey, you write in as often as you want and on whatever subject you like. Most of us like you and enjoy reading your perspective on things.
Please don't let a less than perfect knowledge of English stop you contributing because your opinion is just as valid as anyone elses on here. 
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Red Gunner
- Posts: 5778
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DAMN
ITS JUST A JOKE FELLAZ. 
I WAS JOKING.
IT'S A WAY WE DO JOKES HERE AROUND.
WHAT I WOULD DO WITHOUT THIS PAGE, WITH MY TWISTED MATARTASALS I HAVE TO WORK IN AS DISPATCHER UNTILL I DO WELL.
I ENJOY READING IT. CAUSE I JUST REQUESTED DAYS BEFORE THIS THREAD WAS CREATED SOME JOKES.
ANYWAY THANX GUYS. AND SORRY.
I WAS JOKING.
IT'S A WAY WE DO JOKES HERE AROUND.
WHAT I WOULD DO WITHOUT THIS PAGE, WITH MY TWISTED MATARTASALS I HAVE TO WORK IN AS DISPATCHER UNTILL I DO WELL.
I ENJOY READING IT. CAUSE I JUST REQUESTED DAYS BEFORE THIS THREAD WAS CREATED SOME JOKES.
ANYWAY THANX GUYS. AND SORRY.
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I Hate Hleb
- Posts: 18632
- Joined: Wed May 16, 2007 3:36 pm
- Location: London
Kaqak, you cheeky man!! I thought you were being serious!!
Anyway, here you are matey:
JOKES TO OFFEND
EVERYONE
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan
What is a Yankee?
The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.
What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover ?
The position of the dirt bag
Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it's worth it.
What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
Doughnuts
Why is air a lot like sex?
Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.
What do attorneys use for birth control?
Their personalities.
What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
10 years and 45 lbs
What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
45 minutes
What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife
Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism.
Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.
What's the difference between a new wife and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you
Why do men chase women, they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars, they have no intention of driving.
Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?
Because they have cotton balls.
What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW?
A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.
What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
'Are you sure it's mine ????
Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.
Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A different bar.
Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a blonde baby?
They named him 'Sum Ting Wong'
What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A speech impediment
What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with... 'a recipe'.
How do you get a sweet 80-year-old lady to say the F word?
Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!
What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?
A northern fairytale begins 'Once upon a time ..' -
A southern fairytale begins 'Y'all ain't gonna believe this s**t....
Anyway, here you are matey:
JOKES TO OFFEND
EVERYONE
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan
What is a Yankee?
The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.
What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover ?
The position of the dirt bag
Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it's worth it.
What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
Doughnuts
Why is air a lot like sex?
Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.
What do attorneys use for birth control?
Their personalities.
What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
10 years and 45 lbs
What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
45 minutes
What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife
Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism.
Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.
What's the difference between a new wife and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you
Why do men chase women, they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars, they have no intention of driving.
Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?
Because they have cotton balls.
What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW?
A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.
What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
'Are you sure it's mine ????
Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.
Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A different bar.
Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a blonde baby?
They named him 'Sum Ting Wong'
What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A speech impediment
What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with... 'a recipe'.
How do you get a sweet 80-year-old lady to say the F word?
Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!
What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?
A northern fairytale begins 'Once upon a time ..' -
A southern fairytale begins 'Y'all ain't gonna believe this s**t....
burns718 wrote:noone never said nuffin bad bout ya matey,
i was not aware of your being one of them foreigners
I really use to hate when people call me FOREIGNER , AUSLANDER (SWISS, GERMANY, AUSTRIA), SHIPTAR (SERBIA), ARVAN (GREECE), ARNAUT (TURKEY). Even i dont completely understand what foreigner means.
Someway, somehow i dont care anymore.
you should have started a band and sung songs about being cold like ice, wanting to know wat love isKAQAK wrote:corkbarry wrote:We dont use the word Foreigner any more, now we call them non nationals
yep i was non national until ve declared INDEPENDANCE, so i have a nation now, i'm KOSOVAR. So u can feel me how bad was it for me.
Since i was born i was a foreigner, anywhere in this planet.
in all seriousness though now a few kosaks very humble and in my experiance trustworthy people
