LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

It's all a load of Cannonballs in here! This is the virtual Arsenal pub where you can chat about anything except football. Be warned though, like any pub, the content may not always be suitable for everyone.
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DB10GOONER
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Post by DB10GOONER »

LeftfootlegendGooner wrote:
Fri May 12, 2023 7:45 pm
One for DB

What does the scrotum of a catholic priest look like?

Stupid question, even a child knows that.
:coffeespit:
Quality mate. :lol: 8)

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DB10GOONER
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Post by DB10GOONER »

LeftfootlegendGooner wrote:
Fri May 12, 2023 9:13 am
They say you burn as many calories having sex as you do running until you're exhausted.

So the ladies in my local park get a double workout when I'm around.
:lol: :lol:

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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Post by DB10GOONER »

LeftfootlegendGooner wrote:
Fri May 12, 2023 8:51 am
Charles and Camilla weren?t wearing seatbelts in the Royal Carriage today.

What a nice tribute to Diana.
:lol: :lol: :lol:

LeftfootlegendGooner
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Post by LeftfootlegendGooner »

After a gruelling 2hr car chase, the paparazzi finally managed to lose Harry & Meg.

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DB10GOONER
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Post by DB10GOONER »

LeftfootlegendGooner wrote:
Thu May 18, 2023 6:12 pm
After a gruelling 2hr car chase, the paparazzi finally managed to lose Harry & Meg.
:coffeespit:
Quality. :lol: 8)

Fucking hell though, what a pair of cùnts. Imagine being too lazy to be a royal? :oops: :oops:

Still, the "World Privacy Tour" rolls on! :lol: :roll: :lol:

LeftfootlegendGooner
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Post by LeftfootlegendGooner »

DB10GOONER wrote:
Thu May 18, 2023 8:03 pm
LeftfootlegendGooner wrote:
Thu May 18, 2023 6:12 pm
After a gruelling 2hr car chase, the paparazzi finally managed to lose Harry & Meg.
:coffeespit:
Quality. :lol: 8)

Fucking hell though, what a pair of cùnts. Imagine being too lazy to be a royal? :oops: :oops:

Still, the "World Privacy Tour" rolls on! :lol: :roll: :lol:
:lol:

Exactly, she obviously confused the royal Palace with the palaces of Westminster cos those cunnts sleep all day :lol:

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DB10GOONER
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Post by DB10GOONER »

LeftfootlegendGooner wrote:
Fri May 19, 2023 4:38 pm
DB10GOONER wrote:
Thu May 18, 2023 8:03 pm
LeftfootlegendGooner wrote:
Thu May 18, 2023 6:12 pm
After a gruelling 2hr car chase, the paparazzi finally managed to lose Harry & Meg.
:coffeespit:
Quality. :lol: 8)

Fucking hell though, what a pair of cùnts. Imagine being too lazy to be a royal? :oops: :oops:

Still, the "World Privacy Tour" rolls on! :lol: :roll: :lol:
:lol:

Exactly, she obviously confused the royal Palace with the palaces of Westminster cos those cunnts sleep all day :lol:
:lol: :lol:

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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Post by SPUDMASHER »

DB10 went to the doctor with severe pains.

Doctor "so where is this pain?"
DB10 "It's around my arse"
Doctor "I can see that as you're not sitting down, but where exactly around your arse is it?"
DB10 "It's all around the entrance hole Doc, it's like it's on fire"

Doctor "Well fella, as long as you keep considering it to be an 'entrance' I can tell you that pain isn't going away".

:D

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DB10GOONER
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Post by DB10GOONER »

SPUDMASHER wrote:
Thu Jun 29, 2023 7:51 pm
DB10 went to the doctor with severe pains.

Doctor "so where is this pain?"
DB10 "It's around my arse"
Doctor "I can see that as you're not sitting down, but where exactly around your arse is it?"
DB10 "It's all around the entrance hole Doc, it's like it's on fire"

Doctor "Well fella, as long as you keep considering it to be an 'entrance' I can tell you that pain isn't going away".

:D
:lol: :lol: :lol:

Bastard. :wink:

But then, as Homer Simpson says, "It's funny cuz its true!" :shock:

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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Post by OneBardGooner »

COME ON Lefty!??? Where Are You??? :barscarf:

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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Post by LeftfootlegendGooner »

What's better than having a billion dollars?

Oxygen.

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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Post by LeftfootlegendGooner »

Avoid dying on the ocean floor in a little sub by being poor.

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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Post by LeftfootlegendGooner »

Police have arrested an Eskimo on suspicion of rape.

They want to know what he was doing on the night of September to April.

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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Post by LeftfootlegendGooner »

I own two shirts and some neckwear that used to belong to the guy out of the mamas & the papas.

All the sleeves are brown And the tie is grey.

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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Post by DB10GOONER »

LeftfootlegendGooner wrote:
Mon Jul 10, 2023 11:10 am
I own two shirts and some neckwear that used to belong to the guy out of the mamas & the papas.

All the sleeves are brown And the tie is grey.
:lol: :lol:

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