LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

[TeeCee]

I went to a paraplegic strip club last night.

The place was crawling with pussy!

[OneBardGooner]

[shu]

My missus did say the other day that the paraplegic games would be on the tv
From me to you , just using the eyes .

[OneBardGooner]

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/KAOqZxRlbew

[OneBardGooner]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=42UcIn0JQAY

[TeeCee]

Young woman goes into the tattoo shop and asks for a portrait of Elvis on her inner thigh, after removing her skirt and panties the tattooist goes to work, when he's finished the woman isn't happy so he does another portrait of Elvis on the other inner thigh, the woman is still not happy and refuses to pay, so the tattooist says, “I'll grab the first person off the street and if they don't recognise Elvis the tattoos are free.”

A little old lady is walking past the shop so the tattooist asks her to take a look at the tattoos and tell me who they are, the young woman spreads her legs an the little old lady takes a good look, after several minutes she turns to the tattooist and says, “I don't know who the twins are but the one in the middle is Kier Starmer

[OneBardGooner]

Young woman goes into the tattoo shop and asks for a portrait of Elvis on her inner thigh, after removing her skirt and panties the tattooist goes to work, when he's finished the woman isn't happy so he does another portrait of Elvis on the other inner thigh, the woman is still not happy and refuses to pay, so the tattooist says, “I'll grab the first person off the street and if they don't recognise Elvis the tattoos are free.”

A little old lady is walking past the shop so the tattooist asks her to take a look at the tattoos and tell me who they are, the young woman spreads her legs an the little old lady takes a good look, after several minutes she turns to the tattooist and says, “I don't know who the twins are but the one in the middle is Kier Starmer

[DB10GOONER]

Young woman goes into the tattoo shop and asks for a portrait of Elvis on her inner thigh, after removing her skirt and panties the tattooist goes to work, when he's finished the woman isn't happy so he does another portrait of Elvis on the other inner thigh, the woman is still not happy and refuses to pay, so the tattooist says, “I'll grab the first person off the street and if they don't recognise Elvis the tattoos are free.”

A little old lady is walking past the shop so the tattooist asks her to take a look at the tattoos and tell me who they are, the young woman spreads her legs an the little old lady takes a good look, after several minutes she turns to the tattooist and says, “I don't know who the twins are but the one in the middle is Kier Starmer

[subtleasaheadbutt]

Young woman goes into the tattoo shop and asks for a portrait of Elvis on her inner thigh, after removing her skirt and panties the tattooist goes to work, when he's finished the woman isn't happy so he does another portrait of Elvis on the other inner thigh, the woman is still not happy and refuses to pay, so the tattooist says, “I'll grab the first person off the street and if they don't recognise Elvis the tattoos are free.”

A little old lady is walking past the shop so the tattooist asks her to take a look at the tattoos and tell me who they are, the young woman spreads her legs an the little old lady takes a good look, after several minutes she turns to the tattooist and says, “I don't know who the twins are but the one in the middle is Kier Starmer

Not going to lie. After 14 years of the tories and you say that I think... oh the online gooner is sponsered by the Hill Woods and sir Chips.

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

Young woman goes into the tattoo shop and asks for a portrait of Elvis on her inner thigh, after removing her skirt and panties the tattooist goes to work, when he's finished the woman isn't happy so he does another portrait of Elvis on the other inner thigh, the woman is still not happy and refuses to pay, so the tattooist says, “I'll grab the first person off the street and if they don't recognise Elvis the tattoos are free.”

A little old lady is walking past the shop so the tattooist asks her to take a look at the tattoos and tell me who they are, the young woman spreads her legs an the little old lady takes a good look, after several minutes she turns to the tattooist and says, “I don't know who the twins are but the one in the middle is Kier Starmer

Not going to lie. After 14 years of the tories and you say that I think... oh the online gooner is sponsered by the Hill Woods and sir Chips.

Wheres the punchline

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

My wife said she's leaving me for 14 reasons and my obsession with tennis

I said that's 15 love

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

I want to go to Vegas next year.
But I can't find any information about what happens there!

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

I don't understand all this LGTBQ stuff, can someone give me a straight answer?

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

My attempts to develop an artificial testicle have been shambolic.

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

Use your red/green colour blindness to your advantage by becoming a cyclist.