As we're unlikely to see terraces again at football, this is the virtual equivalent where you can chat to your hearts content about all football matters and, obviously, Arsenal in particular. This forum encourages all Gooners to visit and contribute so please keep it respectful, clean and topical.
gus ceasar is a legend wrote:Young Paddy, moved to Roscommon and bought a Donkey from a farmer for €100.00. The farmer agreed to deliver the Donkey the next day. The next day he drove up and said, 'Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the donkey died.'
Paddy replied,
'Well, then just give me my money back.'
The farmer said,
'Can't do that. I went and spent it already.'
Paddy said,
'Ok, then, just bring me the dead donkey.'
The farmer asked,
'What are ya gonna do with him?
Paddy said,
'I'm going to raffle him off.'
The farmer said,
'You can't raffle off a dead donkey!'
Paddy said,
'Sure I can. Watch me.. I just won't tell anybody he's dead.'
A month later, the farmer met up with Paddy and asked, 'What happened
with that dead donkey?'
Paddy said,
'I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two euro's a piece and made
a profit of €898.00.'
The farmer said,
'Didn't anyone complain?'
Paddy said,
'Just the guy who won. So I gave him his two euro's back.'
Paddy now works for the Irish Government
Mrs Gus (Doris) wrote:EVE'S SIDE OF THE STORY .and we are sticking with it !!
After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to visit Eve.
'So, how is everything going?' inquired God.
'It is all so beautiful, God,' she replied. 'The sunrises and sunsets
Are breathtaking, the smells, the sights, everything is wonderful,
But I have just one problem.
It's these breasts you have given me. The middle one pushes the
Other two out and I am constantly knocking them with my arms,
Catching them on branches and snagging them on bushes.
They're a real pain.'
And Eve went on to tell God that since many other parts of her body
Came in pairs, such as her limbs, eyes, ears, etc. She felt that having
Only two breasts might leave her body more 'symmetrically balanced'.
'That's a fair point,' replied God, 'But it was my first shot at this,
You know. I gave the animals six breasts, so I figured that you needed
Only half of those, but I see that you are right. I will fix it up right away.'
And God reached down, removed the middle breast and tossed it into
The bushes.
Three weeks passed and God once again visited Eve in the Garden of Eden.
'Well, Eve, how is my favourite creation?'
'Just fantastic,' she replied, 'But for one oversight. You see, all the animals
Are paired off. The ewe has a ram and the cow has her bull. All the animals
Have a mate except me. I feel so alone.'
God thought for a moment and said, 'You know, Eve, you are right.
How could I have overlooked this? You do need a mate and I will immediately
Create a man from a part of you.... Let's see....where did I put that useless tit?'
Now doesn't THAT make more sense than all that rubbish about the rib?
Popbitch's favourite Catholic Priest, Killarney,
Co. Kerry, is the Co-Ordinator of the Diocesan
Pastoral Strategic Plan... Fr. Godley.
------------------------------------------------------
Two antennae meet on a roof, fall in love and
decide to get married. The service wasn't up
to much, but the reception was excellent.
------------------------------------------------------
Popbitch's favourite Chief Executive of the Wine and
Spirit Trade Association... Jeremy Beadles.
------------------------------------------------------
Did you hear about the oyster who went to a
seafood disco last week? He pulled a mussel.
------------------------------------------------------
Popbitch's favourite Chef: John Scoff of Home
Cooking New York.
------------------------------------------------------
This lorry full of tortoises collided with a
van full of terrapins. It was a turtle disaster.
------------------------------------------------------
Popbitch's favourite Consultant Urological Surgeon:
Mr John Dick of Kingston Hospital.
------------------------------------------------------
We call our grandad "Spiderman". He hasn't got
any super powers - he just finds it difficult
to get out of the bath.
------------------------------------------------------
Popbitch's favourite Miss Black America:
Kristen White.
------------------------------------------------------
I phoned the local builders today, I said to
them 'Can I have a skip outside my house?'
He said, 'I'm not stopping you!'
------------------------------------------------------
Popbitch's favourite lawyer: Sulliven and
Cromwell LLP's Sue Yoo.
------------------------------------------------------
I got my wife a vibrator for her birthday. She's
done nothing but moan ever since.
------------------------------------------------------
Popbitch's favourite US PR: Guitar Hero's Ryh-Ming Poon.
------------------------------------------------------
Popbitch's favourite Catholic Priest, Killarney,
Co. Kerry, is the Co-Ordinator of the Diocesan
Pastoral Strategic Plan... Fr. Godley.
------------------------------------------------------
Two antennae meet on a roof, fall in love and
decide to get married. The service wasn't up
to much, but the reception was excellent.
------------------------------------------------------
Popbitch's favourite Chief Executive of the Wine and
Spirit Trade Association... Jeremy Beadles.
------------------------------------------------------
Did you hear about the oyster who went to a
seafood disco last week? He pulled a mussel.
------------------------------------------------------
Popbitch's favourite Chef: John Scoff of Home
Cooking New York.
------------------------------------------------------
This lorry full of tortoises collided with a
van full of terrapins. It was a turtle disaster.
------------------------------------------------------
Popbitch's favourite Consultant Urological Surgeon:
Mr John Dick of Kingston Hospital.
------------------------------------------------------
We call our grandad "Spiderman". He hasn't got
any super powers - he just finds it difficult
to get out of the bath.
------------------------------------------------------
Popbitch's favourite Miss Black America:
Kristen White.
------------------------------------------------------
I phoned the local builders today, I said to
them 'Can I have a skip outside my house?'
He said, 'I'm not stopping you!'
------------------------------------------------------
Popbitch's favourite lawyer: Sulliven and
Cromwell LLP's Sue Yoo.
------------------------------------------------------
I got my wife a vibrator for her birthday. She's
done nothing but moan ever since.
------------------------------------------------------
Popbitch's favourite US PR: Guitar Hero's Ryh-Ming Poon.
------------------------------------------------------
I thought I'd surprise my girlfriend on her birthday by waking her up with breakfast in bed and the present she asked me to get her. I don't know what she meant by 'wee sports' but whatever the fuck it is I'm single now
My sexy secretary bent over at the office today, so I pulled down her panties and tried to start fingering her, but she screamed and ran away.
I was very confused and pondered the situation for a long time.
I've come to the conclusion that real life must be different to porn
What do a short-sighted gynaecologist and a dog have in common?
really looking forward to watching the England .v. Croatia highlights today on BBC1 . viewers in scotland probably wont be interested so they will be shown the 1985 classic robert redford film " out of africa "
