LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

U.S. - 'Get guns off our streets'.

U.K. - 'Get gum off our streets'.

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

How do you define virgin?


On the Verge but not in

[Top Londoner]

A friend of mine just got divorced.

He and his wife split the house.

He got the outside.

[StuartL]

A friend of mine just got divorced.

He and his wife split the house.

He got the outside.

[brazilianGOONER]

for our canadian fellas:

[DB10GOONER]

U.S. - 'Get guns off our streets'.

U.K. - 'Get gum off our streets'.

Soho - 'Get cum off our streets'.

[brazilianGOONER]

U.S. - 'Get guns off our streets'.

U.K. - 'Get gum off our streets'.

Soho - 'Get cum off our streets'.

Brazil - "Get bums off our streets"



(from now i'll get puns off my posts)

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

Just been to tesco and bought a bottle of Bacardi a bottle of lambs and some burgers ... so that's white rum, dark rum and Red Rum .. !!

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

Crane opertive required in Vauxhall area. Must be able to work on a rota.

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

Ive just looked in the fridge to check the sell by date on them tesco beef burgers - AAAAND... THEY'RE OFF!

[g88ner]

Ive just looked in the fridge to check the sell by date on them tesco beef burgers - AAAAND... THEY'RE OFF!

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

98 years ago today, the Germans & British troops brought a temporary ceasefire to the Great War and had a game of football out on no-man's land.

The fighting resumed when somebody was killed after being hit on the head with the football.

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

My wife went fucking mental earlier when I called her a big fat rhino.
She was screaming and shouting at me, calling me every name under the sun and threatening to beat the fuck out of me.
I just stood there, frozen to the spot.

The safest thing to do, as her vision's based mainly on movement.

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

I'm honestly convinced some women do not fart.

They just hold it in, and it comes out as drama.

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

I think someone may be sending me death threats.

Woke up this morning with a Tesco burger on my pillow.