The Gooner Forum

Gay, broke, kiddie fidler, thief, adulterer..... What does it matter? There are so many stars, politicians and sportsman who have survived such allegations and gone on to live a productive life.

I still don't think you can put something as complex as someones mental state leading to suicide down to vanity or write it off as selfish..... Think he deserves more sympathy than that.

cashley will no doubt have heard of the classy manner in which speed handled howard kendall "selling him down the river" (from his boyhood team everton to newcastle)

speaks volumes

n6gooner wrote:cashley will no doubt have heard of the classy manner in which speed handled howard kendall "selling him down the river" (from his boyhood team everton to newcastle)

speaks volumes

So on the day after he hanged himself, are you trying to imply we should have no sympathy for the guy because he moved from one club to another in the 1990s?

I don't think it would show anyone in a good light if this thread turned into an arguement!

Bring Back Pires wrote:

n6gooner wrote:cashley will no doubt have heard of the classy manner in which speed handled howard kendall "selling him down the river" (from his boyhood team everton to newcastle)

speaks volumes

So on the day after he hanged himself, are you trying to imply we should have no sympathy for the guy because he moved from one club to another in the 1990s?

would have thought it was obvious but will spell it out for you. speed handled being shipped out of everton with a level of class cashley will never have

I don't know if I am in a more qualified position Number 5. Somebody very close to me suffered from PTSD for seven years and was suicidal. I wanted to find out more why this person suffered and so did a part time psychology degree with the OU after work. Managed to get a first after five years but was still none the wiser

There is a stigma attached to mental health and in the macho male dominated career Gary Speed pursued the stigma would have been increased. There is support available for those who choose to ask for it but there are social barriers to seeking the assistance. This can increase feelings of isolation. On the outside the person may be putting on a front to maintain an image while being in turmoil. Individuals can keep this hidden from the deepest loved ones.

I have not heard any rumours so mental health may be wide of the mark. Perhaps Gary Speed's life was about to go out of control and suicide may have felt like the only option to keep control. Whichever way, I won't judge him as selfish, I will say a prayer for him and his family.

n6gooner wrote:

Bring Back Pires wrote:

n6gooner wrote:cashley will no doubt have heard of the classy manner in which speed handled howard kendall "selling him down the river" (from his boyhood team everton to newcastle)

speaks volumes

So on the day after he hanged himself, are you trying to imply we should have no sympathy for the guy because he moved from one club to another in the 1990s?

would have thought it was obvious but will spell it out for you. speed handled being shipped out of everton with a level of class cashley will never have

It wasn't very well written, but now that you've elaborated, I can see what you mean.

Cockerill's chin wrote:I don't know if I am in a more qualified position Number 5. Somebody very close to me suffered from PTSD for seven years and was suicidal. I wanted to find out more why this person suffered and so did a part time psychology degree with the OU after work. Managed to get a first after five years but was still none the wiser

There is a stigma attached to mental health and in the macho male dominated career Gary Speed pursued the stigma would have been increased. There is support available for those who choose to ask for it but there are social barriers to seeking the assistance. This can increase feelings of isolation. On the outside the person may be putting on a front to maintain an image while being in turmoil. Individuals can keep this hidden from the deepest loved ones.

I have not heard any rumours so mental health may be wide of the mark. Perhaps Gary Speed's life was about to go out of control and suicide may have felt like the only option to keep control. Whichever way, I won't judge him as selfish, I will say a prayer for him and his family.

+1 - cracking post mate

I simply cannot see that the poor fella could have hidden mental health issues with the scrutiny they are under.

They work with sports psychologists day in, day out and have to go through rigourous health checks at regular intervals.

In the same way others on here have known someone who has suffered I am sure someone would have known if Speed had the same troubles.

This is so odd.

Bring Back Pires wrote:

n6gooner wrote:

Bring Back Pires wrote:

n6gooner wrote:cashley will no doubt have heard of the classy manner in which speed handled howard kendall "selling him down the river" (from his boyhood team everton to newcastle)

speaks volumes

So on the day after he hanged himself, are you trying to imply we should have no sympathy for the guy because he moved from one club to another in the 1990s?

would have thought it was obvious but will spell it out for you. speed handled being shipped out of everton with a level of class cashley will never have

It wasn't very well written, but now that you've elaborated, I can see what you mean.

you saw what you were looking for

n6gooner wrote:

Bring Back Pires wrote:

n6gooner wrote:

Bring Back Pires wrote:

n6gooner wrote:cashley will no doubt have heard of the classy manner in which speed handled howard kendall "selling him down the river" (from his boyhood team everton to newcastle)

speaks volumes

So on the day after he hanged himself, are you trying to imply we should have no sympathy for the guy because he moved from one club to another in the 1990s?

would have thought it was obvious but will spell it out for you. speed handled being shipped out of everton with a level of class cashley will never have

It wasn't very well written, but now that you've elaborated, I can see what you mean.

you saw what you were looking for

I wasn't looking for anything!

goonersid wrote:

rodders999 wrote:What rumours Sid?

That a national tabloid was about to disclose that he was gay.

Whether true or not I think it is sad in so many ways.

Firstly, that the only footballer I know of who did "come out" - Justin Fashanu - also ended up committing suicide.

Second, that in 2011 someone involved in football (and not even a player!) being outed as gay would still be front page news....

Sam Allardyce said something today which may give some kind of insight as to what made Speed take his own life. He said that he was a perfectionist and set himself such high standards.

Speaking from experience, I can tell you that this can be a terrible part of a person's personality. Basically you want everything to work out exactly as you had planned, however big or small that may be and if it doesn't you hit yourself over the head mentally and something very trivial can break the camel's back, if this part of your personality has been around throughout your life.

Obviously none of us do know what may or may not have happened in his personal life recently, but sometimes this striving to be the top man at everything you do can cost you so much and ultimately in this tragic case it may have cost a decent man his life.

Cockerill's chin wrote:I don't know if I am in a more qualified position Number 5. Somebody very close to me suffered from PTSD for seven years and was suicidal. I wanted to find out more why this person suffered and so did a part time psychology degree with the OU after work. Managed to get a first after five years but was still none the wiser

There is a stigma attached to mental health and in the macho male dominated career Gary Speed pursued the stigma would have been increased. There is support available for those who choose to ask for it but there are social barriers to seeking the assistance. This can increase feelings of isolation. On the outside the person may be putting on a front to maintain an image while being in turmoil. Individuals can keep this hidden from the deepest loved ones.

I have not heard any rumours so mental health may be wide of the mark. Perhaps Gary Speed's life was about to go out of control and suicide may have felt like the only option to keep control. Whichever way, I won't judge him as selfish, I will say a prayer for him and his family.

Well, you make a lot of sense my man, you always do when you post here.

Talking generally now, not linked to the reasons Speed may have had for doing what he did.

Being a father is the most important thing in the world to me, it means literally everything. I couldn't see a single instance of me not being around as being better for my kids. If I felt my mind starting to deteriorate there isn't anything I wouldn't do to keep myself fit to look out for them. No stigma or barrier could stop me from making sure I was able to properly be a parent.

My Mrs reckons it can be a split second thing where in you may never contemplate suicide even though you are depressed but for one moment things come down on top and you go through with it. I guess if you're unsuccessful you live to regret that moment. A lot of people don't get the chance.

Anyway I don't think I'm ever going to understand people doing things like that, whatever the reasons, my brain just can't accept it as a thing to do if you have other lives depending on you.

Number 5 wrote:

Cockerill's chin wrote:I don't know if I am in a more qualified position Number 5. Somebody very close to me suffered from PTSD for seven years and was suicidal. I wanted to find out more why this person suffered and so did a part time psychology degree with the OU after work. Managed to get a first after five years but was still none the wiser

There is a stigma attached to mental health and in the macho male dominated career Gary Speed pursued the stigma would have been increased. There is support available for those who choose to ask for it but there are social barriers to seeking the assistance. This can increase feelings of isolation. On the outside the person may be putting on a front to maintain an image while being in turmoil. Individuals can keep this hidden from the deepest loved ones.

I have not heard any rumours so mental health may be wide of the mark. Perhaps Gary Speed's life was about to go out of control and suicide may have felt like the only option to keep control. Whichever way, I won't judge him as selfish, I will say a prayer for him and his family.

Well, you make a lot of sense my man, you always do when you post here.

Talking generally now, not linked to the reasons Speed may have had for doing what he did.

Being a father is the most important thing in the world to me, it means literally everything. I couldn't see a single instance of me not being around as being better for my kids. If I felt my mind starting to deteriorate there isn't anything I wouldn't do to keep myself fit to look out for them. No stigma or barrier could stop me from making sure I was able to properly be a parent.

My Mrs reckons it can be a split second thing where in you may never contemplate suicide even though you are depressed but for one moment things come down on top and you go through with it. I guess if you're unsuccessful you live to regret that moment. A lot of people don't get the chance.

Anyway I don't think I'm ever going to understand people doing things like that, whatever the reasons, my brain just can't accept it as a thing to do if you have other lives depending on you.

Makes your choice of signature all the more interesting!