The Gooner Forum

If I had a pound for every time I got suspicious...

I'd wonder who the fuck was paying me, and why?

If God didn't want us to have sex with goats why did he put the horns in such a handy position.

I like going bowling; I always make my name '3 Testicles' on the board.

That way the TV occasionaly says "Congratulations 3 Testicles! You got a spare."

I've started writing down all the things I'm never going to do with my life.

It's my 'Fuck It' list.

My mate caught me sniffing his sister's knickers while wanking.

Lets just say it made her funeral the next day very awkward.

I was in the Natural History Museum in London looking at the dinosaur bones.

I asked the Curator how old the bones were.

He replied: 'They are 3 million, four years, and six months old.'

'Fuck me!' I said. 'How do you know their age so precisely?'

The Curator said 'Well, they were three million years old when I started working here, and that was four and a half years ago.'

A police man just stopped me in the park with my dog and said, "If you leave that dog mess there you will face a penalty."

I used to play in goal a bit for school so I thought, fuck it, and took my chances.

My girlfriend is pregnant, so we got the big book of names out.

To try and find the dad.

Just had a water fight over the park with a bunch of local kids.

I won!

No one's a match for me and my kettle.

On my way over to my parents to introduce them to my new girlfriend, I had to ring to tell them we were going to be late

"Sorry Dad" I said when he answered the phone, "I've got a puncture"

"That's my boy!" he replied "Don't take no lip from her and show her who's boss from the off"

If God didn't want us to have sex with goats why did he put the horns in such a handy position.

mcdowell42 wrote:If God didn't want us to have sex with goats why did he put the horns in such a handy position.

See few posts up

LeftfootlegendGooner wrote:

mcdowell42 wrote:If God didn't want us to have sex with goats why did he put the horns in such a handy position.

See few posts up

So we both use sickipedia

mcdowell42 wrote:

LeftfootlegendGooner wrote:

mcdowell42 wrote:If God didn't want us to have sex with goats why did he put the horns in such a handy position.

See few posts up

So we both use sickipedia

Doesn't everyone

Shush let them think we thought of them.