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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Fri Oct 10, 2014 4:21 am
by northbank123
LeftfootlegendGooner wrote:mcdowell42 wrote:If God didn't want us to have sex with goats why did he put the horns in such a handy position.
See few posts up

Man obviously just loves fucking goats!
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Fri Oct 10, 2014 7:53 am
by DB10GOONER
mcdowell42 wrote:If God didn't want us to have sex with goats why did he put the horns in such a handy position.
Christ alone, McD - you culchies aren't even making this difficult anymore!

Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Fri Oct 10, 2014 1:45 pm
by LeftfootlegendGooner
Wife: "How would you describe me?"
Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."
Wife: "What does that mean?"
Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot."
Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"
Husband: "I'm just kidding!"
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Fri Oct 10, 2014 1:56 pm
by LeftfootlegendGooner
A kid asks his father:
- Daddy, why do dogs keep licking their crotch?
- The reason is, my son, that dogs cannot make a paw into a fist.
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Fri Oct 10, 2014 2:05 pm
by LeftfootlegendGooner
Ebola causes headaches, feelings of nausea and is very difficult to get rid of.
Is it a virus or a free U2 album?
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Fri Oct 10, 2014 2:06 pm
by LeftfootlegendGooner
It's a good thing that innuendo isn't a crime.
I'd definitely be going down.
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Fri Oct 10, 2014 2:07 pm
by LeftfootlegendGooner
My next door neighbour overdosed on Viagra the other night,
His missus took it very hard.
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Fri Oct 10, 2014 2:11 pm
by LeftfootlegendGooner
History remembers Emily Davison, who threw herself in front of the King's horse to become a martyr for the suffragette movement.
It doesn't remember her husband, however, who didn't get his tea that night.
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Fri Oct 10, 2014 2:12 pm
by LeftfootlegendGooner
My dwarf girlfriend went to work this morning upset with me, because I've been taking the piss out of her size. So I'm going all out to make it up to her tonight.
I've got a good bottle of wine in and bought her the latest dvd box set of her favourite programme. When she gets in from work I'm going to order her favourite takeaway for her tea, then go upstairs and run her a nice hot sink.
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Fri Oct 10, 2014 2:46 pm
by DB10GOONER
LeftfootlegendGooner wrote:My dwarf girlfriend went to work this morning upset with me, because I've been taking the piss out of her size. So I'm going all out to make it up to her tonight.
I've got a good bottle of wine in and bought her the latest dvd box set of her favourite programme. When she gets in from work I'm going to order her favourite takeaway for her tea, then go upstairs and run her a nice hot sink.
That's a true story isn't it, Lefty?

You little people and your wacky ways!

Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Fri Oct 10, 2014 2:47 pm
by DB10GOONER
LeftfootlegendGooner wrote:History remembers Emily Davison, who threw herself in front of the King's horse to become a martyr for the suffragette movement.
It doesn't remember her husband, however, who didn't get his tea that night.
Top notch! And True!

Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Fri Oct 10, 2014 2:47 pm
by DB10GOONER
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Sat Oct 11, 2014 12:02 pm
by arseofacrow
A bit harsh on lefty there, mate.

Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Tue Oct 14, 2014 12:29 pm
by Rugby Gooner
My mate has just returned from Africa.
He now has this irresistible urge to continually buy raffle tickets.
He thinks that he may have caught Tombola!
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Tue Oct 14, 2014 3:55 pm
by DB10GOONER