Joke time

As we're unlikely to see terraces again at football, this is the virtual equivalent where you can chat to your hearts content about all football matters and, obviously, Arsenal in particular. This forum encourages all Gooners to visit and contribute so please keep it respectful, clean and topical.
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goonersid
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Post by goonersid »

I bet David Cameron is well pissed off he didn't raise the inheritance tax threshold.
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flash gunner
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Post by flash gunner »

Yesterdays date was 9/9 the last time i heard that i was trying to do a German bird up the arse
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HashKads
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Post by HashKads »

flash gunner wrote:Yesterdays date was 9/9 the last time i heard that i was trying to do a German bird up the arse
Is that your yearly joke flash? :lol:
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flash gunner
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Post by flash gunner »

kingjayson1 wrote:
flash gunner wrote:Yesterdays date was 9/9 the last time i heard that i was trying to do a German bird up the arse
Is that your yearly joke flash? :lol:
How did you guess :lol: :wink:
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mcdowell42
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Post by mcdowell42 »

2 CATHOLIC PRIESTS ENTER A BUCKING BRONCO COMPETITION.The 1st priest climbs on and only manages to last 10 seconds.The 2nd priest tries next and holds on for an amazing 10 mins"How the fuck did you manage to stay on so long?.The 2nd priest replies "1 of my altar boys used to have epilepsy.
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Eboue-Why?
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Post by Eboue-Why? »

goonersid wrote:I bet David Cameron is well pissed off he didn't raise the inheritance tax threshold.
Oh dear, oh dear oh dear oh dear!!
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REB
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Post by REB »

Tiger woods,wayne rooney,ashley cole,john terry,vernon kay,peter crouch,ronan keating....what have they all got in common....wives who need to make more of an effort....(

:lol:
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Postman
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Post by Postman »

There once was a religious young woman who went to Confession. Upon entering the confessional, she said, 'Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.'
The priest said, 'Confess your sins and be forgiven!'
The young woman said, 'Last night my boyfriend made mad, passionate love to me seven times.'
The priest thought long and hard and then said, 'Squeeze seven lemons into a glass and then drink the juice.'
The young woman asked, 'Will this cleanse me of my sins?'
The priest said, 'No, but it will wipe that smile off of your face.'
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Postman
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Post by Postman »

Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog for company.
One day the dog died, and Muldoon went to the parish priest and asked, 'Father, my dog is dead.. Could ya' be saying' a mass for the poor creature?'
Father Patrick replied, 'I'm afraid not; we cannot have services for an animal in the church. But there are some Baptists down the lane, and there's no tellin' what they believe. Maybe they'll do something for the creature.'
Muldoon said, 'I'll go right away Father. Do ya' think £5,000 is enough to donate to them for the service?'
Father Patrick exclaimed, 'Sweet Mary, Mother of Jesus! Why didn't ya tell me the dog was Catholic?
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I Hate Hleb
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Post by I Hate Hleb »

Right, I just made this one up so I'm prepared for the insults...

How does a Swizz black guy greet his girlfriend? Yo lahady!!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f9oxbyLl ... re=related

I found it funny anyway (although I have been 'smoking' since 7.30am). :oops: :oops: :lol: :lol: :wink:
Last edited by I Hate Hleb on Mon Sep 13, 2010 11:00 am, edited 1 time in total.
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marcengels
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Post by marcengels »

I Hate Hleb wrote:Right, I just made this one up so I'm prepared for the insults...

How does a Swizz black guy greet his girlfriend? Yo lahady!!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f9oxbyLl ... re=related

I found it funny anyway (although I have been 'smoking' since 7.30am). :oops: :oops: :lol: :lol: :wink:
It's the desperation that I find amusing IHH... :lol: :wink:
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I Hate Hleb
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Post by I Hate Hleb »

:lol: :lol: :lol:

Well, as all the greats acknowledge, sometimes you've just got to throw it out there and then you can separate the wheat from the chaff. 8) I take it that you think it was chaff? :cry: :lol: :lol: :wink:
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Postman
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Post by Postman »

I recently suggested to my wife that she try masturbating with fruit.
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She went fucking bananas. :roll:
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OnlyGotOneSong
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Post by OnlyGotOneSong »

You don't have to be good at anagrams to see that Pope Benedict is an Epic Bent Pedo.
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Eboue-Why?
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Post by Eboue-Why? »

....and on the subject of the Pope, he had a heart attack whilst visiting the UK. He's rushed to hospital and as he's being pushed along on the trolley he turns to the nurse and asks, 'Am I in heaven?'. The nurse replies, 'No, we're just taking a short cut through the children's ward'
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