The Gooner Forum

franksav63 wrote:

Eboue-Why? wrote:28. Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's trouser and find a cock there.

Not that I watch it, I just remember a friend of mine telling me..

So I wonder that women do when they open Mr ****'s trousers and find fuck all there...

1. Denial- "this can't be happening to me"

2-Anger- "why me?"

3-Bargaining- Attempting to make a deal with God

4-Depression- overwhelming feelings of hopelessness, frustration, bitterness, self pity,

5-Acceptance- Oh well, nothing I can do about it.

Very funny Marc...

Fucking class, A++++++++

. . . . Poor old ****"y

Funny Reb

mcdowell42 wrote:

Exiled-Gooner wrote:Here is another one.....

Men always seem to go on for ages
Men,when shot there load,can do it again straight away
Women don't care about sucking a cock after it's been up another girl's or there own arse after it's pulled out

You know there not true stories

Aren't they...

I used to work with a guy who was a bit lacking in the brain department..

He watched a Ben Dover film and in the film Ben stops some bird in Kensington High Street and five minutes later hes getting a BJ and f*ck on the stairwell of a building off the high street..
My workmate recognised it to be Ken High Street as it was not far from his house and was telling us that he had been down there numerous times since watching the film hoping to bump in to this bird on the film and maybe get a quicky..At first we thought he was joking...he wasn't ...

We tried to explain to him that the bird was an actress of sorts and the whole thing was pre planned and scripted and not some bird out shopping that Ben had just met who just happened to be up for f*ck on camera five minutes after meeting him...
He was having none of it and no doubt still thinks most porn films are real situations that just happened to be caught on camera. Ten years on he is probably still trawling Ken High St hoping to get a BJ and f*ck from the bird in the film...

36. Your girlfriends mum is always fitter that your girlfriend.....and she wants to fuck you.

Bergkamp-Genius wrote:

mcdowell42 wrote:

Exiled-Gooner wrote:Here is another one.....

Men always seem to go on for ages
Men,when shot there load,can do it again straight away
Women don't care about sucking a cock after it's been up another girl's or there own arse after it's pulled out

You know there not true stories

Aren't they...

I used to work with a guy who was a bit lacking in the brain department..

He watched a Ben Dover film and in the film Ben stops some bird in Kensington High Street and five minutes later hes getting a BJ and f*ck on the stairwell of a building off the high street..
My workmate recognised it to be Ken High Street as it was not far from his house and was telling us that he had been down there numerous times since watching the film hoping to bump in to this bird on the film and maybe get a quicky..At first we thought he was joking...he wasn't ...

We tried to explain to him that the bird was an actress of sorts and the whole thing was pre planned and scripted and not some bird out shopping that Ben had just met who just happened to be up for f*ck on camera five minutes after meeting him...
He was having none of it and no doubt still thinks most porn films are real situations that just happened to be caught on camera. Ten years on he is probably still trawling Ken High St hoping to get a BJ and f*ck from the bird in the film...

Brilliant.

But 10 years later, she would have lost most of her looks....

Erm, what number are we up to (37!!!):

If you are a bloke, always make sure you are in when someone comes round to fix your fridge or television- if you aren't, you're fucked if you're going to be able to have a cold beer or watch the football when you get back from work