The Gooner Forum

g88ner wrote:

Its Up 4 Grabs Now wrote:

DB10GOONER wrote:

Its Up 4 Grabs Now wrote:What a shit fucking end to the story. There she was, opening up her box for you while you were on the phone (at this point I already had my cock out)... two paragraphs later it turns out I've ended up unwittingly tugging one out over a bloody shoe rack?!?! I'd like to say that's the first time that's happened to me but sadly I can't. Sincerest apologies once again to the good people of Clark's in Brent Cross.

Have to admit to shooting me muck over a few racks in my time - but a shoe rack??!!

Have you no sole?

You don't even wanna know what happened in Tie Rack. Almost put them out of business, singlehandedly.

Something tells me this isn't the first time a woman's opened up her box for young g88ner only for her to have to ask a few seconds later "erm... is this a joke?"

A couple of brilliant posts there, IU4GN! (sandwiching DB10's shite "sole" pun )

QuartzGooner wrote:You got her a sewing machine?

You gone into business with Herd?
Running a Far-Eastern sweatshop operation, knocking up fake Arsenal tops to flog to unsuspecting tourists in Hong Kong?

g88ner wrote:It was my ex-girlfriends birthday today, and I'd bought her a sewing machine off the internet and got the company to send it to her direct.

Anyway, she phoned this afternoon and said she'd received the parcel, and wanted to open it whilst I was on the phone.

So, she rips off the packaging and gets all excited when she sees 'Brother sewing machine' written on the box (after all, it's what she'd really wanted).

She then opens the box, and there's a pause...

"erm... is this a joke?" she asks, laughing slightly and definitely confused.

I shit you not, inside the box was not a sewing machine, but a cheap plastic fucking shoe rack!!

I'll phone the company in the morning, but I thought that was bloody hilarious

Its Up 4 Grabs Now wrote:

DB10GOONER wrote:

Its Up 4 Grabs Now wrote:What a shit fucking end to the story. There she was, opening up her box for you while you were on the phone (at this point I already had my cock out)... two paragraphs later it turns out I've ended up unwittingly tugging one out over a bloody shoe rack?!?! I'd like to say that's the first time that's happened to me but sadly I can't. Sincerest apologies once again to the good people of Clark's in Brent Cross.

Have to admit to shooting me muck over a few racks in my time - but a shoe rack??!!

Have you no sole?

You don't even wanna know what happened in Tie Rack. Almost put them out of business, singlehandedly.

Something tells me this isn't the first time a woman's opened up her box for young g88ner only for her to have to ask a few seconds later "erm... is this a joke?"

DB10GOONER wrote:Shoes.
Laces.
Tongue.
Sole.
Flip-flop.
Leather.
Loafer.
Heel.

g88ner wrote:

DB10GOONER wrote:Shoes.
Laces.
Tongue.
Sole.
Flip-flop.
Leather.
Loafer.
Heel.

Pfft not even trying to join in the fun... such a de-feet-ist attitude

QuartzGooner wrote:G88ner's avoidance of why he bought the sewing machine has given me the needle, what a mysterious thread, trying to fathom out the reason is like playing hunt the thimble.

QuartzGooner wrote:A sorry old yarn.