The Gooner Forum

Bradywasking wrote:RIP my friend John who passed way yesterday after an 18 month battle with cancer.. I say my friend which he was but I would have been much closer to his two brothers. Anyway 56 with four teenage/early 20s children who cannot understand why such a good honest father was taken from them. They are not naive just hurt by the cruelty of it.

Sorry for your loss, mate. It's just tragic when there are young kids or teens left behind without their dad. RIP.

flash gunner wrote:Always scared to open this thread in case I see someone's name I like

I thought you meant the posters!

Bradywasking wrote:RIP my friend John who passed way yesterday after an 18 month battle with cancer.. I say my friend which he was but I would have been much closer to his two brothers. Anyway 56 with four teenage/early 20s children who cannot understand why such a good honest father was taken from them. They are not naive just hurt by the cruelty of it.

Sorry to hear of your loss, Brady.

Brian Sewell.....the snobbiest man in the world...but never a dull moment!

Jackie Collins....raunchy author.

Howard Kendall ex everton manager died today

mcdowell42 wrote:Howard Kendall ex everton manager died today

Just heard that on the radio news. He was their most successful manager

R.I.P

He put together a really talented but also hardworking team for 2-3 years they were as good as any team in the land.
Southall, Sheedy, Sharp, Mountfield, Heath, Reid are some of the names I recall from that era.

My mother died almost four months ago. She suffocated in her sleep. Fucking tragic. I found her. She was only 53.

People say I'm doing well, but I am crippled with grief. I'm an only child as well. I still lived with her and had to take over the tenancy. I started a 12 month apprenticeship in payroll five weeks after she died and I am not enjoying it. I'll be lucky to see it out. It's only a matter or time before I'm trapped back on the dole for years again. I am not a people person, which seems to make me unemployable in this day and age.

My father died from a heart attack ten years ago at age 55. I never got a chance to say goodbye.

All in all, a pretty shit time. I welcome death when it comes.

That's tough Sean,to lose both parents so young with no siblings to help you through your grief

i have been told by people in similar circumstances to yours that counselling helped them to cope with it.

corkbarry wrote:That's tough Sean,to lose both parents so young with no siblings to help you through your grief

i have been told by people in similar circumstances to yours that counselling helped them to cope with it.

Would agree there Sean, try talking to someone professional. Even in your employment talk to HR and see if they can refer you onwards. It may help.

Sean wrote:My mother died almost four months ago. She suffocated in her sleep. Fucking tragic. I found her. She was only 53.

People say I'm doing well, but I am crippled with grief. I'm an only child as well. I still lived with her and had to take over the tenancy. I started a 12 month apprenticeship in payroll five weeks after she died and I am not enjoying it. I'll be lucky to see it out. It's only a matter or time before I'm trapped back on the dole for years again. I am not a people person, which seems to make me unemployable in this day and age.

My father died from a heart attack ten years ago at age 55. I never got a chance to say goodbye.

All in all, a pretty shit time. I welcome death when it comes.

Jesus Christ mate, thats fuckin awful. No wonder you feel like shit. You have my sympathies for your loss and respect that you have made it this far without going totally off the rails or even worse.
Life just sucks sometimes. Most of us should be grateful for what we have.

mcdowell42 wrote:Howard Kendall ex everton manager died today

Simply class.

R.I.P

Sean wrote:My mother died almost four months ago. She suffocated in her sleep. Fucking tragic. I found her. She was only 53.

People say I'm doing well, but I am crippled with grief. I'm an only child as well. I still lived with her and had to take over the tenancy. I started a 12 month apprenticeship in payroll five weeks after she died and I am not enjoying it. I'll be lucky to see it out. It's only a matter or time before I'm trapped back on the dole for years again. I am not a people person, which seems to make me unemployable in this day and age.

My father died from a heart attack ten years ago at age 55. I never got a chance to say goodbye.

All in all, a pretty shit time. I welcome death when it comes.

Fucking hell son.
That is very disturbing to read.
Look, if you need a chat then pm me. I'm not a counsellor or from the Sally Army.
Your posts on the other pages don't give away your grief, so I'm confident that you'll get to grips with this.
Don't quit mate.
Be well.
Top Londoner

Sean wrote:My mother died almost four months ago. She suffocated in her sleep. Fucking tragic. I found her. She was only 53.

People say I'm doing well, but I am crippled with grief. I'm an only child as well. I still lived with her and had to take over the tenancy. I started a 12 month apprenticeship in payroll five weeks after she died and I am not enjoying it. I'll be lucky to see it out. It's only a matter or time before I'm trapped back on the dole for years again. I am not a people person, which seems to make me unemployable in this day and age.

My father died from a heart attack ten years ago at age 55. I never got a chance to say goodbye.

All in all, a pretty shit time. I welcome death when it comes.

This is terrible, wishing the best under the circumstances.
Avoid the dole if you can, it's the pits. Those people at the job centre deliberately insulting you to make you lose your temper so that they can give you a formal warning and stop your dole for four weeks, it's just not worth it.
The work programmes too, a shocking mess of the blind leading the blind.

corkbarry wrote:That's tough Sean,to lose both parents so young with no siblings to help you through your grief

i have been told by people in similar circumstances to yours that counselling helped them to cope with it.

Thanks, Barry. Your legendary NSFW thread has certainly lightened my spirits

I have had some counselling through my employer, although it was only six sessions. The local NHS doesn't do anything for bereavement counselling specifically, so I'm waiting to hear back from a counselling service in Finsbury Park. I've also had some contact with Remploy.

I have battled depression for years and then something like this happens. The worst thing is that she died in a fucking stupid accident. She should have lived another 30 years. She should have seen me turn 50, when she didn't even see me turn 29 a couple of months ago. I lost the greatest person in my life. We were the only people who kept each other going. Us against the world and all that.

I have had a friend of hers helping me, although he's recently turned 80 and he's in bits over this too as he knew her 36 years. Only a matter of time before he goes too.

Fortunately for me, a colleague of mine is in the same boat as me. He also lost his mother and it hit him badly despite having sisters and a father still. Unfortunately he is so bogged down with work and the subject is too macabre to talk about in front of co-workers, so we have to catch each other in the right time and place (never when we're at our desks). I was lucky enough to have a 15 minute chat with him today and it made me feel better. Although I do feel I'd be happier in a less stressful environment. They've also put me on the phones recently and I fucking hate dealing with phones.

I think I'd be better off as a road sweeper, no joke. I am pretty misanthropic and office work isn't really for me (Not much work seems to be for me, TBH). Most tasks are fine, but the phone-phobia will always be my achilles heel (and I have no interest in overcoming that, frankly). I just want a job where I can 'hide' and just do my work without having to talk much (I know - I'm fucked).

Bradywasking wrote: Would agree there Sean, try talking to someone professional. Even in your employment talk to HR and see if they can refer you onwards. It may help.

Thanks, Brady.

I already took steps in that regard, although it is very limited.

armchair wrote: Jesus Christ mate, thats fuckin awful. No wonder you feel like shit. You have my sympathies for your loss and respect that you have made it this far without going totally off the rails or even worse.
Life just sucks sometimes. Most of us should be grateful for what we have.

Thanks, Armchair.

I suppose the job has stopped me going off the rails, although I'm not exactly thankful for that, given my issues there.

Top Londoner wrote: Fucking hell son.
That is very disturbing to read.
Look, if you need a chat then pm me. I'm not a counsellor or from the Sally Army.
Your posts on the other pages don't give away your grief, so I'm confident that you'll get to grips with this.
Don't quit mate.
Be well.
Top Londoner

Cheers Top Londoner. Thanks for your kind offer.

I am a naturally downbeat person and misery loves company given the despair we all have at Wenger and the board of our gentrified club/corporation

QuartzGooner wrote: This is terrible, wishing the best under the circumstances.
Avoid the dole if you can, it's the pits. Those people at the job centre deliberately insulting you to make you lose your temper so that they can give you a formal warning and stop your dole for four weeks, it's just not worth it.
The work programmes too, a shocking mess of the blind leading the blind.

Thanks, Quartz.

Unfortunately I know the dole all too well, having been a fixture at Finsbury Park Jobcentre on and off for the past 11 years. I've been through both New Deal and the Work Programme (both of those being miserable fucking failures at helping the unemployed) and lived under the constant worry of being drafted into the immoral, minimum-wage-dodging 'workfare'. I was very well used to all the Jobcentre bollocks by then and became very indifferent to it all.

Getting the apprenticeship was such a happy time. This was supposed to be my time, at last! Then during the eight week wait for the DBS my mother dies in an avoidable way. It destroyed all my recently awakened happiness and confidence. I'm a different man; a shell. I'd go on the ESA if they'd take me, although that is designed to throw people back off it again. They don't seem to think of or respect depression as a legitimate illness which can be debilitating.

I had some delusions about saving money for an early retirement, now I doubt I'll ever earn enough to retire before I croak. There isn't even hope.

I try to take each day as it comes, but fuck knows what I'll do after this apprenticeship ends next summer.