LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

I walked in the lounge to find my wife breastfeeding our son.

"How long do you have to do that for?" I asked. "When is he too old for it?"

"Well, it's a physical bond between a mother and her child isn't it? It's only society that deems it unacceptable above a certain age."

"Yeah, shut up Joe - I was talking to your mother."

[brazilianGOONER]

Brazillian, don't post more crap like that, they are the sort of shit ones that go round the office, and most people delete them before they even read them

just like those shit walmart ones,

No problem with them on this thread, some of us do not work in offices and do not see them otherwise.

exactly, quartzy. fuck off, rosie

[MutleyGooner]

Brazillian, don't post more crap like that, they are the sort of shit ones that go round the office, and most people delete them before they even read them

just like those shit walmart ones,

No problem with them on this thread, some of us do not work in offices and do not see them otherwise.

exactly, quartzy. fuck off, rosie

Sorry but it was a shit post, ban yourself for a week

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

This morning, police have arrested a 68-year-old man in connection with the 70s paedophile ring at the BBC. A spokesman for the Met refused to give details, but said,

"We believe we have got the leader of the gang."

[DB10GOONER]

I walked in the lounge to find my wife breastfeeding our son.

"How long do you have to do that for?" I asked. "When is he too old for it?"

"Well, it's a physical bond between a mother and her child isn't it? It's only society that deems it unacceptable above a certain age."

"Yeah, shut up Joe - I was talking to your mother."

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

I was out on a first date when I saw a couple of lads from my football team:

"Alright skipper?" they said, as they walked past.

"Mmmm, I love a man with power..." Purred my date, "especially the captain of a team."

"I'm not the captain" I explained, "I've just got a really gay run."

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

Can't remember if I posted this a couple of years back but makes me laugh:


A husband and wife were sharing a bottle of wine when the husband
said, "I bet you can't tell me something which will make me happy and sad at
the same time."

The wife thought for a few moments, then said, "Your cocks bigger
than your brother's."

[DB10GOONER]

Can't remember if I posted this a couple of years back but makes me laugh:


A husband and wife were sharing a bottle of wine when the husband
said, "I bet you can't tell me something which will make me happy and sad at
the same time."

The wife thought for a few moments, then said, "Your cocks bigger
than your brother's."

Ah yes, a Giggsism.

[OneBardGooner]

Can't remember if I posted this a couple of years back but makes me laugh:


A husband and wife were sharing a bottle of wine when the husband
said, "I bet you can't tell me something which will make me happy and sad at
the same time."

The wife thought for a few moments, then said, "Your cocks bigger
than your brother's, but smaller than your sisters."

fixed that for ya!

[Top Londoner]

Can't remember if I posted this a couple of years back but makes me laugh:


A husband and wife were sharing a bottle of wine when the husband
said, "I bet you can't tell me something which will make me happy and sad at
the same time."

The wife thought for a few moments, then said, "Your cocks bigger
than your brother's, but smaller than your sisters."

fixed that for ya!

Didn't know Leftie was Irish OBG.

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

Can't remember if I posted this a couple of years back but makes me laugh:


A husband and wife were sharing a bottle of wine when the husband
said, "I bet you can't tell me something which will make me happy and sad at
the same time."

The wife thought for a few moments, then said, "Your cocks bigger
than your brother's, but smaller than your sisters."

fixed that for ya!

Didn't know Leftie was Irish OBG.

I'm a hampshire hog, carrot cruncher and all that that implies, where the women can't spell tractor......... but they can pick one up!!!!!



The inbreds are from Wiltshire

[Top Londoner]

Can't remember if I posted this a couple of years back but makes me laugh:


A husband and wife were sharing a bottle of wine when the husband
said, "I bet you can't tell me something which will make me happy and sad at
the same time."

The wife thought for a few moments, then said, "Your cocks bigger
than your brother's, but smaller than your sisters."

fixed that for ya!

Didn't know Leftie was Irish OBG.

I'm a hampshire hog, carrot cruncher and all that that implies, where the women can't spell tractor......... but they can pick one up!!!!!



The inbreds are from Wiltshire

You're still the funniest poster on this forum Leftie. Keep 'em coming

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

Can't remember if I posted this a couple of years back but makes me laugh:


A husband and wife were sharing a bottle of wine when the husband
said, "I bet you can't tell me something which will make me happy and sad at
the same time."

The wife thought for a few moments, then said, "Your cocks bigger
than your brother's, but smaller than your sisters."

fixed that for ya!

Didn't know Leftie was Irish OBG.

I'm a hampshire hog, carrot cruncher and all that that implies, where the women can't spell tractor......... but they can pick one up!!!!!



The inbreds are from Wiltshire

You're still the funniest poster on this forum Leftie. Keep 'em coming

Cheers Mr Tops, I will do my upmost

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

I was with this really fit bird and i was so turned on that i couldn't help having a cheeky ***** under the sheet, either she did not notice or was too polite to mention, but she just carried on cutting my hair!!!!!

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

It can only be a matter of time before The Sun prints the headline - "Freddie Starr ate my beaver "