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LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

https://forum.onlinegooner.com/viewtopic.php?t=34411

Page 17 of 252

Re: Friday joke thread

Posted: Sat Oct 27, 2012 11:12 am
by LeftfootlegendGooner
I walked in the lounge to find my wife breastfeeding our son.

"How long do you have to do that for?" I asked. "When is he too old for it?"

"Well, it's a physical bond between a mother and her child isn't it? It's only society that deems it unacceptable above a certain age."

"Yeah, shut up Joe - I was talking to your mother."

Re: Friday joke thread

Posted: Sun Oct 28, 2012 9:33 pm
by brazilianGOONER
QuartzGooner wrote:
Rosie_titters wrote: Brazillian, don't post more crap like that, they are the sort of shit ones that go round the office, and most people delete them before they even read them

just like those shit walmart ones,
No problem with them on this thread, some of us do not work in offices and do not see them otherwise.
exactly, quartzy. fuck off, rosie :x

:lol: :lol: :wink: :wink: :wink:

Re: Friday joke thread

Posted: Sun Oct 28, 2012 10:20 pm
by MutleyGooner
brazilianGOONER wrote:
QuartzGooner wrote:
Rosie_titters wrote: Brazillian, don't post more crap like that, they are the sort of shit ones that go round the office, and most people delete them before they even read them

just like those shit walmart ones,
No problem with them on this thread, some of us do not work in offices and do not see them otherwise.
exactly, quartzy. fuck off, rosie :x

:lol: :lol: :wink: :wink: :wink:
Sorry but it was a shit post, ban yourself for a week

Re: Friday joke thread

Posted: Tue Oct 30, 2012 1:57 pm
by LeftfootlegendGooner
This morning, police have arrested a 68-year-old man in connection with the 70s paedophile ring at the BBC. A spokesman for the Met refused to give details, but said,

"We believe we have got the leader of the gang."

Re: Friday joke thread

Posted: Tue Oct 30, 2012 2:00 pm
by DB10GOONER
LeftfootlegendGooner wrote:I walked in the lounge to find my wife breastfeeding our son.

"How long do you have to do that for?" I asked. "When is he too old for it?"

"Well, it's a physical bond between a mother and her child isn't it? It's only society that deems it unacceptable above a certain age."

"Yeah, shut up Joe - I was talking to your mother."

:coffeespit:

Re: Friday joke thread

Posted: Tue Oct 30, 2012 2:59 pm
by LeftfootlegendGooner
I was out on a first date when I saw a couple of lads from my football team:

"Alright skipper?" they said, as they walked past.

"Mmmm, I love a man with power..." Purred my date, "especially the captain of a team."

"I'm not the captain" I explained, "I've just got a really gay run."

Re: Friday joke thread

Posted: Tue Oct 30, 2012 3:02 pm
by LeftfootlegendGooner
Can't remember if I posted this a couple of years back but makes me laugh:


A husband and wife were sharing a bottle of wine when the husband
said, "I bet you can't tell me something which will make me happy and sad at
the same time."

The wife thought for a few moments, then said, "Your cocks bigger
than your brother's."

Re: Friday joke thread

Posted: Tue Oct 30, 2012 3:19 pm
by DB10GOONER
LeftfootlegendGooner wrote:Can't remember if I posted this a couple of years back but makes me laugh:


A husband and wife were sharing a bottle of wine when the husband
said, "I bet you can't tell me something which will make me happy and sad at
the same time."

The wife thought for a few moments, then said, "Your cocks bigger
than your brother's."
Ah yes, a Giggsism. :lol: :wink:

Re: Friday joke thread

Posted: Tue Oct 30, 2012 5:37 pm
by OneBardGooner
LeftfootlegendGooner wrote:Can't remember if I posted this a couple of years back but makes me laugh:


A husband and wife were sharing a bottle of wine when the husband
said, "I bet you can't tell me something which will make me happy and sad at
the same time."

The wife thought for a few moments, then said, "Your cocks bigger
than your brother's, but smaller than your sisters."
fixed that for ya! :wink:

Re: Friday joke thread

Posted: Tue Oct 30, 2012 5:53 pm
by Top Londoner
OneBardGooner wrote:
LeftfootlegendGooner wrote:Can't remember if I posted this a couple of years back but makes me laugh:


A husband and wife were sharing a bottle of wine when the husband
said, "I bet you can't tell me something which will make me happy and sad at
the same time."

The wife thought for a few moments, then said, "Your cocks bigger
than your brother's, but smaller than your sisters."
fixed that for ya! :wink:
Didn't know Leftie was Irish OBG.

:oops:

Re: Friday joke thread

Posted: Tue Oct 30, 2012 7:37 pm
by LeftfootlegendGooner
Top Londoner wrote:
OneBardGooner wrote:
LeftfootlegendGooner wrote:Can't remember if I posted this a couple of years back but makes me laugh:


A husband and wife were sharing a bottle of wine when the husband
said, "I bet you can't tell me something which will make me happy and sad at
the same time."

The wife thought for a few moments, then said, "Your cocks bigger
than your brother's, but smaller than your sisters."
fixed that for ya! :wink:
Didn't know Leftie was Irish OBG.

:oops:

:lol:

I'm a hampshire hog, carrot cruncher and all that that implies, where the women can't spell tractor......... but they can pick one up!!!!!

:oops: :lol:

The inbreds are from Wiltshire :evil: :roll: :lol:

Re: Friday joke thread

Posted: Tue Oct 30, 2012 7:41 pm
by Top Londoner
LeftfootlegendGooner wrote:
Top Londoner wrote:
OneBardGooner wrote:
LeftfootlegendGooner wrote:Can't remember if I posted this a couple of years back but makes me laugh:


A husband and wife were sharing a bottle of wine when the husband
said, "I bet you can't tell me something which will make me happy and sad at
the same time."

The wife thought for a few moments, then said, "Your cocks bigger
than your brother's, but smaller than your sisters."
fixed that for ya! :wink:
Didn't know Leftie was Irish OBG.

:oops:

:lol:

I'm a hampshire hog, carrot cruncher and all that that implies, where the women can't spell tractor......... but they can pick one up!!!!!

:oops: :lol:

The inbreds are from Wiltshire :evil: :roll: :lol:


You're still the funniest poster on this forum Leftie. Keep 'em coming

Re: Friday joke thread

Posted: Tue Oct 30, 2012 7:49 pm
by LeftfootlegendGooner
Top Londoner wrote:
LeftfootlegendGooner wrote:
Top Londoner wrote:
OneBardGooner wrote:
LeftfootlegendGooner wrote:Can't remember if I posted this a couple of years back but makes me laugh:


A husband and wife were sharing a bottle of wine when the husband
said, "I bet you can't tell me something which will make me happy and sad at
the same time."

The wife thought for a few moments, then said, "Your cocks bigger
than your brother's, but smaller than your sisters."
fixed that for ya! :wink:
Didn't know Leftie was Irish OBG.

:oops:

:lol:

I'm a hampshire hog, carrot cruncher and all that that implies, where the women can't spell tractor......... but they can pick one up!!!!!

:oops: :lol:

The inbreds are from Wiltshire :evil: :roll: :lol:


You're still the funniest poster on this forum Leftie. Keep 'em coming

Cheers Mr Tops, I will do my upmost :barscarf: :lol:

Re: Friday joke thread

Posted: Wed Oct 31, 2012 11:52 am
by LeftfootlegendGooner
I was with this really fit bird and i was so turned on that i couldn't help having a cheeky ***** under the sheet, either she did not notice or was too polite to mention, but she just carried on cutting my hair!!!!!

Re: Friday joke thread

Posted: Fri Nov 02, 2012 2:30 pm
by LeftfootlegendGooner
It can only be a matter of time before The Sun prints the headline - "Freddie Starr ate my beaver "
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