The Gooner Forum

I managed to keep my 2021 resolution not to masturbate

I knocked one out this morning to check all was working.

That was a big relief.

StuartL wrote: ↑

Sat Jan 01, 2022 6:31 pm

I managed to keep my 2021 resolution not to masturbate

I knocked one our this morning to check all was working.

That was a big relief.

What!!?? You didn't ave a J Arfur for the whole of 2021!????

The price of grooming products is getting ridiculous,

70p for a small tube of Smarties!

People think that trans women are not real women

Yet their constant whining, attention-seeking and determination to fucking spoil everything, suggests otherwise

BBC News - A man from Lancashire has been shot by police in Texas.

Fuck me, that's one hell of a good shot.

They say Prince Andrew can get off on a legal technicality.

Is there nothing the pervert doesn't find arousing?.

Midget gems have been renamed after complaints from disability charities

They shall now be known as short arsed spazzy little freak chews.

Just found out Sir Anthony Hopkins is Welsh.

Certainly explains why he wanted those lambs to keep quiet.

Think I'll declare war on Afghanistan or somewhere like that.

I quite fancy a knighthood.

Back in the day i didn't know 'Oral B' was a toothbrush.

I thought she was the sluttier member of the Spice girls.

I can’t begin to tell you how much I fucking regret buying the flat above Lionel Ritchie.

I was attending a seminar recently and was asked to list 10 sexual innuendos.

I accidentally wrote down 11 and had to rub one out

Terrible night. Dreamt something bit me on the neck.

Got up to check, but the mirror wasn't working.

And the results are in. 100% of women agree its not the size of the penis that matters.

It's the fact I'm at the school gates

"I want you to come over here and do me up the shitter," she demanded.

Even as I was unbuckling my belt I couldn't help thinking that Nan's dementia was definitely getting worse.