Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Fri Dec 23, 2022 1:11 pm
Don't forget to take your children to midnight mass.
Remember, It's Christmas for priests too.....
Remember, It's Christmas for priests too.....
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LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Fri Dec 23, 2022 1:19 pm
Got my missus a Rampant Rabbit for Christmas.....it’s not her favourite, but it’s up there!
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Fri Dec 23, 2022 1:44 pm
You know it was a good Christmas party when your P45 arrives at your house before you do.
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Fri Dec 23, 2022 1:45 pm
The wife has just been diagnosed with an iron deficiency
So I've bought her a new one for Christmas
So I've bought her a new one for Christmas
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Fri Dec 23, 2022 1:46 pm
My Grandad hanged himself on Christmas Day.
Out of respect, we didn't take him down until the 6th of January.
Out of respect, we didn't take him down until the 6th of January.
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Fri Dec 23, 2022 2:58 pm
I've been trying to do my part this Christmas and volunteer at a soup kitchen to help feed the homeless.
They don't seem grateful though, especially when it's time for them leave at night and I hustle them out saying, "Come on, some of us have homes to get to !"
They don't seem grateful though, especially when it's time for them leave at night and I hustle them out saying, "Come on, some of us have homes to get to !"
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Fri Dec 23, 2022 3:46 pm
Once more All excellent Lefty, but this one had me spitting my cuppa all over my desk & screen!LeftfootlegendGooner wrote: ↑Fri Dec 23, 2022 1:11 pmDon't forget to take your children to midnight mass.
Remember, It's Christmas for priests too.....
and 
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Fri Dec 23, 2022 3:46 pm
LeftfootlegendGooner wrote: ↑Fri Dec 23, 2022 1:46 pmMy Grandad hanged himself on Christmas Day.
Out of respect, we didn't take him down until the 6th of January.
QualityRe: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Fri Dec 23, 2022 4:29 pm
OneBardGooner wrote: ↑Fri Dec 23, 2022 3:46 pmOnce more All excellent Lefty, but this one had me spitting my cuppa all over my desk & screen!LeftfootlegendGooner wrote: ↑Fri Dec 23, 2022 1:11 pmDon't forget to take your children to midnight mass.
Remember, It's Christmas for priests too.....
Glad you liked them mate
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Fri Dec 23, 2022 9:46 pm
LeftfootlegendGooner wrote: ↑Fri Dec 23, 2022 12:55 pmMy kids keep on taking the piss out my alzheimers.
Wait till the cheeky little buggers wake up on Christmas morning and find no eggs under the bonfire
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Sat Dec 24, 2022 9:49 am
LeftfootlegendGooner wrote: ↑Fri Dec 23, 2022 2:58 pmI've been trying to do my part this Christmas and volunteer at a soup kitchen to help feed the homeless.
They don't seem grateful though, especially when it's time for them leave at night and I hustle them out saying, "Come on, some of us have homes to get to !"
Borderline.....But also
I'm a bad person.
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Sat Dec 24, 2022 9:51 am
LeftfootlegendGooner wrote: ↑Fri Dec 23, 2022 1:09 pmA family is at the dinner table. The son asks the father, “Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?” The father, surprised, answers, “Well, son, a woman goes through three phases. In her 20s, a woman’s breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still nice, hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions.” “Onions?” the son asks. “Yes. You see them and they make you cry.” This infuriated his wife and daughter. The daughter asks, “Mom, how many different kinds of willies are there?” The mother smiles and says, “Well, dear, a man goes through three phases also. In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 30s and 40s, it’s like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his 50s, it’s like a Christmas tree.” “A Christmas tree?” the daughter asks. “Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration.”
Poor old augie.....
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Sat Dec 24, 2022 9:53 am
LeftfootlegendGooner wrote: ↑Fri Dec 23, 2022 1:01 pmI got one of those Dyson Ball Cleaners for Christmas. Unfortunately, I misunderstood what it was, which is why I'm now in casualty...
We've all been there haven't we lads!
Um, haven't we? Um lads?
Lads?
Top work Lefty. Happy Xmas mate!
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Sat Dec 24, 2022 10:07 am
Having worked with The Homeless or Homeless Services either directly or indirectly over the years; and on occasions giving up my Christmas Day with my family to volunteer and help out at various Homeless Shelters etc - Believe me that IS just Funny.LeftfootlegendGooner wrote: ↑Fri Dec 23, 2022 2:58 pmI've been trying to do my part this Christmas and volunteer at a soup kitchen to help feed the homeless.
They don't seem grateful though, especially when it's time for them leave at night and I hustle them out saying, "Come on, some of us have homes to get to !"
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Sat Dec 24, 2022 1:04 pm
DB10GOONER wrote: ↑Sat Dec 24, 2022 9:53 amLeftfootlegendGooner wrote: ↑Fri Dec 23, 2022 1:01 pmI got one of those Dyson Ball Cleaners for Christmas. Unfortunately, I misunderstood what it was, which is why I'm now in casualty...
We've all been there haven't we lads!
Um, haven't we? Um lads?
Lads?
Top work Lefty. Happy Xmas mate!
Merry Christmas to you and yours too my friend, have a great one