The Gooner Forum

OneBardGooner wrote: ↑

Wed Mar 01, 2023 10:18 pm

LeftfootlegendGooner wrote: ↑

Wed Mar 01, 2023 3:06 pm

Cheers Bard and Stu

Signed my divorce papers today so thought jokes were a perfect tonic

Well Done Mate... Not An Easy Thing To Go Through!

Thanks mate

LeftfootlegendGooner wrote: ↑

Wed Mar 01, 2023 11:29 am

My wife accused me of achieving nothing so I told her, 'Well I won the Leslie Nielson award at school.'

'What's that?', she said.

'It's a big building with kids in it.'

Quality.

The younger punters on here won't get that one!

LeftfootlegendGooner wrote: ↑

Wed Mar 01, 2023 11:50 am

Wayne Rooney has revealed he's delighted to have smashed dry January.

January, 87, is recovering after undergoing emergency vaginal surgery.

Oof fucking hell!

LeftfootlegendGooner wrote: ↑

Wed Mar 01, 2023 3:06 pm

Cheers Bard and Stu

Signed my divorce papers today so thought jokes were a perfect tonic

Sorry to hear that Lefty. But onwards and upwards mate. Get drunk, go on a poon hunt. You'll feel better.

Some cracking jokes mate. Many thanks.

DB10GOONER wrote: ↑

Thu Mar 02, 2023 3:26 pm

LeftfootlegendGooner wrote: ↑

Wed Mar 01, 2023 3:06 pm

Cheers Bard and Stu

Signed my divorce papers today so thought jokes were a perfect tonic

Sorry to hear that Lefty. But onwards and upwards mate. Get drunk, go on a poon hunt. You'll feel better.

Some cracking jokes mate. Many thanks.

Thanks mate, I will PM you to let you know what's happening in the last year, glad you enjoyed the jokes

Well I think I've pm'd you lol, let me know if you received it

LeftfootlegendGooner wrote: ↑

Thu Mar 02, 2023 8:38 pm

Well I think I've pm'd you lol, let me know if you received it

Nope, received nothing yet mate.

DB10GOONER wrote: ↑

Thu Mar 02, 2023 9:04 pm

LeftfootlegendGooner wrote: ↑

Thu Mar 02, 2023 8:38 pm

Well I think I've pm'd you lol, let me know if you received it

Nope, received nothing yet mate.

Fuck I'm shit at this will try again mate

You should have it now, been pm'ing myself lol

LeftfootlegendGooner wrote: ↑

Thu Mar 02, 2023 9:32 pm

You should have it now, been pm'ing myself lol

I got it buddy. Response sent.

Can’t believe what I saw in McDonald’s today. An old man placed an order for one hamburger , French fries and a drink.
He unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half , placing one half in front of his wife.
He then carefully counted out the French fries , dividing them into two piles and neatly placed one pile in front of his wife.
He took a sip of the drink , his wife took a sip and then set the cup down between them. As he began to eat his few bites of hamburger , the people around them were looking over and whispering.
Obviously they were thinking , 'That poor old couple - all they can afford is one meal for the two of them.'
As the man began to eat his fries a young man came to the table and politely offered to buy another meal for the old couple. The old man said , they were just fine - they were used to sharing everything..
People closer to the table noticed the little old lady hadn't eaten a bite. She sat there watching her husband eat and occasionally taking turns sipping the drink.
Again , the young man came over and begged them to let him buy another meal for them. This time the old woman said 'No , thank you , we are used to sharing everything.'
Finally , as the old man finished and was wiping his face neatly with the napkin , the young man again came over to the little old lady who had yet to eat a single bite of food and asked 'What is it you are waiting for?'
She answered
'THE FUCKING TEETH!!!

I went to a really trendy nightclub last night. The doorman said to me, "Sorry mate, I can't let you in, you've had too many!"
I said, "What, drinks?"
He said "No, birthdays!"

DB10GOONER wrote: ↑

Fri Mar 03, 2023 9:43 am

LeftfootlegendGooner wrote: ↑

Thu Mar 02, 2023 9:32 pm

You should have it now, been pm'ing myself lol

I got it buddy. Response sent.

At last

LeftfootlegendGooner wrote: ↑

Thu Mar 02, 2023 9:32 pm

You should have it now, been pm'ing myself lol

Do online dating buddy, you’ll always be getting tons of messages !!

Stuart L (2) wrote: ↑

Fri Mar 03, 2023 4:44 pm

LeftfootlegendGooner wrote: ↑

Thu Mar 02, 2023 9:32 pm

You should have it now, been pm'ing myself lol

Do online dating buddy, you’ll always be getting tons of messages !!