LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

[Midz]

I, for one, would take more notice of feminists if they put a nice dress on and wore a bit of make up.

[OneBardGooner]

BBC to launch new series ,

WHO DO YOU THINK HE IS ??

All Quality Lefty mate... But this one Very Apropos

[OneBardGooner]

Get my coat.

You've pulled a chauvinist

[OneBardGooner]

Ahh high school... Smoking behind the bike sheds, fingerings girls, telling teachers to go get fucked, taking random days off.

I really miss my janitors job.

[OneBardGooner]

Sarah Jessica Parker and her husband havent spent a single night apart in 31 years.

Poor bastard. Waking up every morning must be like that scene in The Godfather.

Sorry couldn't resist


Just horsing around.

[OneBardGooner]

PS: Thanks Lefty I needed that / those... Ohhh! You know what I mean

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

PS: Thanks Lefty I needed that / those... Ohhh! You know what I mean

You're welcome mate, hope all is well with you, it's cricket season so not taking much notice of the football although I can see we are drawing out some signings.

I'm playing cricket tomorrow and Saturday and Sunday, can see a few beers going down, I'm going to need winter to dry out

[OneBardGooner]

PS: Thanks Lefty I needed that / those... Ohhh! You know what I mean

You're welcome mate, hope all is well with you, it's cricket season so not taking much notice of the football although I can see we are drawing out some signings.

I'm playing cricket tomorrow and Saturday and Sunday, can see a few beers going down, I'm going to need winter to dry out

Naaah! Lefty mate, just dispense with the Cricket and carry on drinking!

[Midz]

Trans people always complain there is no bathroom for them to use, despite the fact most establishments have disabled toilets

This one got me too.

[Block93]

Unfortunately the inventor of the innuendo has passed away.

His wife is taking it really hard.


Quality!


Actually, my new bird recently asked me for an example of a double-entendre.

So I gave her one.

[DB10GOONER]

Unfortunately the inventor of the innuendo has passed away.

His wife is taking it really hard.


Quality!


Actually, my new bird recently asked me for an example of a double-entendre.

So I gave her one.

[John F]

I own two shirts and some neckwear that used to belong to the guy out of the mamas & the papas.

All the sleeves are brown And the tie is grey.

[OneBardGooner]

I own two shirts and some neckwear that used to belong to the guy out of the mamas & the papas.

All the sleeves are brown And the tie is grey.

So you like going for walks on a Winter's Day do you Lefty!?

[TeeCee]

A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized She was heading straight towards his seat.

As fate would have it, she took the seat right beside his:
Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out. "Business trip or pleasure?"

She turned, smiled and said. "Business. I’m going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Boston."

He swallowed hard.

Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen Sitting next to him and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs!

Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked. “What’s your Business at this convention?"

“Lecturer." She responded. "I use information that I have learned from my Personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality."

“Really?” He said. “And what kind of myths are there?”

“Well.” She explained. “One popular myth is that African-American men are The most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait.

Another popular myth is That Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is men of Mexican Descent who are the best.
I have also discovered that the lover with Absolutely the best stamina is the Southern Redneck."


Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed..

"I’m Sorry." She said, “I shouldn't really be discussing all of this with you. I don’t even know your name."..........................



"Tonto." The man said. "Tonto Gonzales, but my friends call me Bubba." ...........

[DB10GOONER]

A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized She was heading straight towards his seat.

As fate would have it, she took the seat right beside his:
Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out. "Business trip or pleasure?"

She turned, smiled and said. "Business. I’m going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Boston."

He swallowed hard.

Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen Sitting next to him and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs!

Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked. “What’s your Business at this convention?"

“Lecturer." She responded. "I use information that I have learned from my Personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality."

“Really?” He said. “And what kind of myths are there?”

“Well.” She explained. “One popular myth is that African-American men are The most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait.

Another popular myth is That Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is men of Mexican Descent who are the best.
I have also discovered that the lover with Absolutely the best stamina is the Southern Redneck."


Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed..

"I’m Sorry." She said, “I shouldn't really be discussing all of this with you. I don’t even know your name."..........................



"Tonto." The man said. "Tonto Gonzales, but my friends call me Bubba." ...........

An oldie but a goldie!