Weekly joke thread - some may offend... hopefully...

As we're unlikely to see terraces again at football, this is the virtual equivalent where you can chat to your hearts content about all football matters and, obviously, Arsenal in particular. This forum encourages all Gooners to visit and contribute so please keep it respectful, clean and topical.
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greatgooner
Posts: 2050
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 5:06 pm
Location: Hanging from a Noose

Post by greatgooner »

Likely to offend evryone including Anrew Sachs :D


Little Johnny and Susie are only six-years- old, but they just know that they are in love. One day they decide that they want to get married, so Johnny goes to Susie's father to ask him for her hand. Johnny bravely walks up to him and says, "Mr. Smith, me and Susie are in love and I'm asking for her hand in marriage."

Thinking that this was the cutest thing, Mr. Smith replies, "Well Johnny, you are only ten. Where will you two live?"

Without even taking a moment to think about it, Johnny replies, "in Susie's room. It's bigger than mine and we can both fit there nicely."

Still thinking this is just adorable, Mr. Smith says with a huge grin, "okay then how will you live? You're not old enough to get a job, You'll need to support Susie."

Again, Johnny instantly replies, "our allowance: Susie makes five pounds a week and I make ten pounds a week. That's about sixty pounds a month, and that should do us just fine."

By this time Mr. Smith is a little shocked that Johnny has put so much thought into this. So, he thinks for a moment, trying to come up with something that Johnny won't have an answer to. After a second, Mr. Smith says, "well Johnny, it seems like you have got everything all figured out. I just have one more question for you. What will you do if the two of you should have little ones of your own?"

Johnny just shrugs his shoulders and says, "that won't happen, she only lets me shag her up the arse."

:twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:

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greatgooner
Posts: 2050
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 5:06 pm
Location: Hanging from a Noose

Post by greatgooner »

A girl is standing at The Gates Of Heaven when she hears horrible screams of pain and torture coming from inside.

She says to St. Peter, "What's going on?"

He says, "That's the sound of new angels getting big holes drilled into their backs for their wings, and small holes drilled into their heads for their halos."

She says, "Heaven sounds terrible. I think maybe I'd rather go to Hell."

St. Peter says, "In Hell, you'll be constantly raped and sodomized."

She says, "That's okay. I've already got holes for that."


:twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:

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Ted B
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Joined: Tue Jan 15, 2008 10:59 pm
Location: Awaydays

Post by Ted B »

right, an arsenal fan, a liverpool fan & a west ham fan all go out hunting for a weekend.

on their first night, the trio find a pig, and having not eaten all day; decide to kill it & eat it.

they try to think up of a way to evenly get a portion each, when the west ham fan suggests they eat the pig by way of which team they support.

ok, and they all agree.

firstly the liverpool fan says that cos he supports liverpool, he'll have the liver.

the west ham fan then adds that cos he supports west ham, he'll have the ham.

the arsenal fan then replies "well i support the arsenal, but i'm not hungry"

:lol:

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digger
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Joined: Mon Sep 22, 2008 8:46 am
Location: Essex

Post by digger »

K a r e l =] wrote:the arsenal fan then replies "well i support the arsenal, but i'm not hungry"

Did he save any for the Spurs fan? :|

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Gooner Jim
Posts: 1336
Joined: Wed Sep 17, 2008 4:09 pm
Location: Spurs trophy cabinet, there’s a lot of room here

Post by Gooner Jim »

K a r e l =] wrote:right, an arsenal fan, a liverpool fan & a west ham fan all go out hunting for a weekend.

on their first night, the trio find a pig, and having not eaten all day; decide to kill it & eat it.

they try to think up of a way to evenly get a portion each, when the west ham fan suggests they eat the pig by way of which team they support.

ok, and they all agree.

firstly the liverpool fan says that cos he supports liverpool, he'll have the liver.

the west ham fan then adds that cos he supports west ham, he'll have the ham.

the arsenal fan then replies "well i support the arsenal, but i'm not hungry"

:lol:
lol thats great :lol:

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