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Re: Friday joke thread
Posted: Fri Nov 23, 2012 10:29 am
by LeftfootlegendGooner
"Take me back to your place and fuck me up the arse!" Some fat girl demanded last night.
"I would but I don't have any lubricant," I said.
"Oh you won't need any, I'm very loose," she winked.
"Maybe so," I replied, "but my door frame is very narrow."
Re: Friday joke thread
Posted: Fri Nov 23, 2012 10:31 am
by LeftfootlegendGooner
Rafael Benitez arrives home to find his wife lying naked on the bed with her arse in the air.
"What the hell are you doing!?" He shouts
"I thought this is what you liked." replied his wife
"No love, I said I was interimming!
Re: Friday joke thread
Posted: Fri Nov 23, 2012 10:37 am
by LeftfootlegendGooner
I was out clothes shopping when I tried to squeeze into a sexy jumper.
But after a four storey fall from the car park, she was too broken up.
Re: Friday joke thread
Posted: Fri Nov 23, 2012 10:40 am
by flash gunner
Sorry about your family member lefty.... Great jokes as always
Re: Friday joke thread
Posted: Fri Nov 23, 2012 10:41 am
by LeftfootlegendGooner
Two epileptic midgets are opening up a pizza place across town next week.
They're calling it 'Little Seizures'.
Re: Friday joke thread
Posted: Fri Nov 23, 2012 10:43 am
by LeftfootlegendGooner
flash gunner wrote:Sorry about your family member lefty.... Great jokes as always
Cheers Flash, appreciated
Re: Friday joke thread
Posted: Fri Nov 23, 2012 11:01 am
by LeftfootlegendGooner
10 p.m Channel 4 - Living with my stalker.
Fucking hell, talk about leading someone on.
Re: Friday joke thread
Posted: Fri Nov 23, 2012 11:06 am
by LeftfootlegendGooner
Football Manager 13. Select your difficulty: Amateur, semi-pro, professional, legendary, Chelsea.
Re: Friday joke thread
Posted: Fri Nov 23, 2012 11:12 am
by LeftfootlegendGooner
Depression is a growing concern amongst top flight football managers.
A new survey suggests that they will all get The Blues at some point in their career.
Re: Friday joke thread
Posted: Fri Nov 23, 2012 11:20 am
by Mr Eboue
Who's the coolest person in a hospital.... The Ultra Sound Doctor....
Who's the coolest person in a hospital when the ultra sound doctor is off......The Hip Replacement Doctor.
How do you find Will Smith in a snow storm..... Follow the Fresh Prints(prince)
Thank You, I'm here all week.
Re: Friday joke thread
Posted: Fri Nov 23, 2012 11:36 am
by LeftfootlegendGooner
It's not really cheating if you keep your fingers crossed.
Re: Friday joke thread
Posted: Fri Nov 23, 2012 12:39 pm
by LeftfootlegendGooner
Mark Hughes being sacked came as no surprise to me.
Harry Redknapp was in my branch of Kwik Fit yesterday getting his drivers window greased.
Re: Friday joke thread
Posted: Fri Nov 23, 2012 12:44 pm
by DB10GOONER
Gonna rename this thread!
Sorry for your loss, Lefty old mate.
Re: Friday joke thread
Posted: Fri Nov 23, 2012 12:53 pm
by LeftfootlegendGooner
DB10GOONER wrote:Gonna rename this thread!
Sorry for your loss, Lefty old mate.
Cheers mate, really appreciated
Re: Friday joke thread
Posted: Fri Nov 23, 2012 9:10 pm
by Top Londoner
LeftfootlegendGooner wrote:
Every c unt is a critic.....or is that the other way round
Snicker.
