The Gooner Forum

LeftfootlegendGooner wrote: ↑

Mon Apr 07, 2025 9:42 am

An empty aluminum cigar tube filled with angry wasps makes an inexpensive vibrator.

DB10GOONER wrote: ↑

Wed Apr 02, 2025 8:17 pm

LeftfootlegendGooner wrote: ↑

Wed Apr 02, 2025 6:08 pm

A dwarf with a lisp goes into a stud farm.
"I'd like to buy a horth" he says to the owner of the farm. "What sort of horse?" said the owner. "A female horth" the dwarf replies.

So the owner shows him a mare. "Nithe horth." says the dwarf, "Can I thee her eyeth?"
So the owner picks up the dwarf to show him the horses eyes. "Nithe eyeth.", says the dwarf,
"Can I thee her teeth?" Again the owner picks up the dwarf to show him the horses teeth. "Nithe teeth.... can I see her eerth?" the dwarf says.
By now the owner is getting a little fed up but again, picks up the dwarf to show him the horses ears. "Nithe eerth". he says, Now...can I see her twot?"
With this the owner picks the dwarf up by the scruff of his neck and shoves his head deep in just under the horses tail. He holds him there for a couple of seconds before pulling him out and putting him down.

The dwarf shakes his head and says: "Perhaps I should weefwaze that...
Can I see her wun awound?"

OneBard and his Ewoks will be fuming when they read that one!

LeftfootlegendGooner wrote: ↑

Thu Apr 03, 2025 9:24 am

I asked my Welsh friend how many sexual partners he'd had.
He started counting but he fell asleep.

LeftfootlegendGooner wrote: ↑

Tue Apr 08, 2025 9:10 am

I was clinging for dear life to the face of the cliff.
As the rescue team approached one of the guys shouted "Whatever you do, don't look down".
So I started smiling.

LeftfootlegendGooner wrote: ↑

Tue Apr 08, 2025 9:10 am

Never have sex with a woman that can spell gonorrhea correctly the first time she tries.