Bendtner; The Leg-end

[safcftm]

The question needs to be, why did Bendtner leave Arsenal? Was it to get away from a failing relationship???

Next years winners of strictly come dancing

[DB10GOONER]

The question needs to be, why did Bendtner leave Arsenal? Was it to get away from a failing relationship???

Next years winners of strictly come dancing

The face on RVP! He looks like he has just suddenly realised he was gay after all!

[Number 5]

The face on RVP! He looks like he has just suddenly realised he was gay after all!

But also that he could have done better.

[safcftm]

The question needs to be, why did Bendtner leave Arsenal? Was it to get away from a failing relationship???

Next years winners of strictly come dancing

The face on RVP! He looks like he has just suddenly realised he was gay after all!

what I like most isnt just RVP's look of "well, I'm hesitant, but you're a good looking man, I'm feeling a bit excited right about now, ah fuck it, maybe we should just go for it", its mainly Nick's super confident "I know you're a man and I'm a man, but this is a situation I find myself in every day, dont worry Robbie lad, just relax, take it slow, I know what I'm doing" look that gets me cracking up

[safcftm]

The face on RVP! He looks like he has just suddenly realised he was gay after all!

But also that he could have done better.

do better than Bendtner? I'm not convinced theres anything RVP can do better than Bendtner (go on, someone bite!)

[SpanishJoe]

The crudeness of that wind-up attempt makes RedMember look like Oscar Wilde.

[safcftm]

The crudeness of that wind-up attempt makes RedMember look like Oscar Wilde.

okay, you caught me. I'll admit (just this once) "Robin Van Persie is a much better player than Nicklas Bendtner". Mind I mean it when I say that Bendtner is better than Chamakh, comfortably better

[safcftm]

Well, there are rumours going around in Denmark that Bendtner went out after the win over Sweden, got pissed, and battered a fan, leaving his arm in a sling.

The mirror says the incident is being dropped by police due to a lack of evidence but apparently the Danish papers are suggesting we might not have heard the last of it.

Bendtner and Agger accused of drunken rampage following Denmark win

Danish stars including Nicklas Bendtner and Daniel Agger have been accused of going on an alcohol-fuelled rampage.

Swedish newspaper Aftonbladet reports that Denmark coach Morten Olsen allowed his players a celebratory night out following their 2-0 victory over Sweden last Friday.

The following morning a fellow guest at the team's hotel in Elsinore - who was reportedly seen with his arm in a sling - alleged he was assaulted by drunken members of the national side, including Arsenal striker Bendtner and Liverpool defender Agger.

Local police investigated the incident but all charges were dropped due to a lack of evidence.

Dont worry though, your striker is in safe hands, we'll stick by him. TBH if Bendtner is out on the piss following a great victory, people should know not to antagonise him, he's lethal on the pitch and off it and, like a wild lion, should be viewed as a beautiful creature but left alone in his habitat and admired from a distance, approach it at your own risk.

[RoscommonGooner]

Well, there are rumours going around in Denmark that Bendtner went out after the win over Sweden, got pissed, and battered a fan, leaving his arm in a sling.

The mirror says the incident is being dropped by police due to a lack of evidence but apparently the Danish papers are suggesting we might not have heard the last of it.

Bendtner and Agger accused of drunken rampage following Denmark win

Danish stars including Nicklas Bendtner and Daniel Agger have been accused of going on an alcohol-fuelled rampage.

Swedish newspaper Aftonbladet reports that Denmark coach Morten Olsen allowed his players a celebratory night out following their 2-0 victory over Sweden last Friday.

The following morning a fellow guest at the team's hotel in Elsinore - who was reportedly seen with his arm in a sling - alleged he was assaulted by drunken members of the national side, including Arsenal striker Bendtner and Liverpool defender Agger.

Local police investigated the incident but all charges were dropped due to a lack of evidence.

Dont worry though, your striker is in safe hands, we'll stick by him. TBH if Bendtner is out on the piss following a great victory, people should know not to antagonise him, he's lethal on the pitch and off it and, like a wild lion, should be viewed as a beautiful creature but left alone in his habitat and admired from a distance, approach it at your own risk.

Why do I get the feeling that when the British tabloids report this story it will be phrased - "The Arsenal striker on loan to Sunderland......."

[brazilianGOONER]

Dont worry though, your striker is in safe hands, we'll stick by him. TBH if Bendtner is out on the piss following a great victory, people should know not to antagonise him, he's lethal on the pitch and off it and, like a wild lion, should be viewed as a beautiful creature but left alone in his habitat and admired from a distance, approach it at your own risk.

this thread is comedy gold

[MegaGooner]

The following morning a fellow guest at the team's hotel in Elsinore - who was reportedly seen with his arm in a sling - alleged he was assaulted by drunken members of the national side, including Arsenal striker Bendtner and Liverpool defender Agger.

Apparently Bendtner was trying to kick him in the teeth and hit his arm in the process

[safcftm]

The following morning a fellow guest at the team's hotel in Elsinore - who was reportedly seen with his arm in a sling - alleged he was assaulted by drunken members of the national side, including Arsenal striker Bendtner and Liverpool defender Agger.

Apparently Bendtner was trying to kick him in the teeth and hit his arm in the process

I hear the fan tried telling Bendtner that Michael Laudrup isnt actually an attacking midfielder and is really a striker and that this means his "Denmark's Best Ever Striker" crown might need to be taken off him once the panel have reached a verdict on which of the two is better at football. Has anyone seen spanishjoe recently by the way

[safcftm]

* BREAKING NEWS *
Yes, this thread just keeps on delivering, here is a transcript of the story in a Danish paper:

I Was Kicked to the Ground By Bendtner

Ekstra Bladet Exclusive

A 31yo guest at the Marienlyst Hotel got to feel Denmark’s most famous right foot [SAFCFTM note: have a bit of that spanishjoe, the most famous right foot, not the second most famous, the most famous, thats how mint they know he is!!!] when he asked for piece and quiet.

Nicklas Bendtner’s right foot landed on Jesper’s right shoulder with a snap.

The 31yo man was thrown back in the midway hall of room 220 before he felt the kick. With one thing on his mind, revenge, he tried to get back up. But a second time he felt the presence of the International’s kicking technique. Bendtner’s foot was kicked hard into Jesper’s stomach before the International ran off.

Denmark’s by far biggest football star [SAFCFTM note: bar far, not even the biggest, by far the biggest, mint!] finds himself in the middle of a scandal involving violence. Yesterday officials and the FA tried to put a lid on things. But Ekstra Bladet can now exclusively reveal the victim’s side of what happened, when the Denmark team celebrated the victory over Sweden last week with a drunken party at the Marienlyst Hotel in Helsingør, and the team’s most effective right-foot [ ]proved a tad more dangerous than the law allows.

Because this is the victim himself who tells how he was kicked down by Bendtner when a drunken night with booze and ladies culminated with a tussle and – according to the victim – a pure attack.

Jesper Jensen was Friday at the Marienlyst Hotel in Helsingør with his girlfriend and family-in-law and he was expecting a relaxed night out as he sat down for dinner at the restaurant, later going to his room with his brother-in-law and father-in-law to watch the Denmark game followed by some time at the hotel’s casino.

We had a few drinks, enjoyed ourselves. To me it was a big thing being at a luxury hotel, Jesper Jensen tells.

Through a glass wall at the casino’s bar they saw the players had returned from the Parken and were celebrating the two-nil win drinking spirits.

And they were still there when we came to the lobby bar later, he says.

And they drank. Well-deserved it was, too. They downed shots and drinks like goldmedal winners, Jesper Jensen tells. But he had been, too, and he was tipsy when he went to bed at 3am.

Fifteen minutes after I had gone to bed there was a lot of noise in the hallway. And someone knocked the door. I was pissed off and opened it. Outside stood Daniel Agger with a couple of groupies.

I told him I would like them to be less loud, that we had all paid for the privilege of being there. His response was ‘Do you know who I am ?’ ‘Yes’, I told him, ‘But you don’t know who I am. Keep it down or I‘ll kick your arse’. I was very upset. But it went quiet, Jesper tells, who then closed the door and called the reception to tell them to keep these football tossers in key.

Ten minutes later there was another knock on the door. This time less loud. Jesper thought it was someone the receptionist had sent.

When I opened the door Nicklas Bendter was standing outside leaning against one of the door frames. ‘Do we have a problem ?’, he asked in a rude way. I told him yes and that I wasn’t prepared to just except their manners. And then we began to argue big time, Jesper Jensen tells.

I threatened Nicklas with kicking his arse. I agree I didn’t do much to ease the situation. We were both very angry. My girlfriend then came and tried to calm us down. She stood between us when I reached out for the door wanting to close it. I couldn’t be arsed to listen to anymore of his bullshit.

With one hand he tried to reach the door while with his other hand he tried to keep Bendtner from distance so he wouldn’t get caught in the door. But Bendtner didn’t exactly react by moving away.

It was a frontal kick right on my shoulder. When I got to the hospital his foot mark was still visible but that’s gone now.

He tried to get back up, he had a clear idea. Bendter was going to get it.

As I tried to get up I was kicked with a foot in my stomach to keep me down. I never got to him, Jesper Jensen tells.

So, that explains it then. Nicklas Bendtner, Denmark's Best Ever Striker, wins a match for his side with a stunning performance of poise and ability. He then, as he is entitled to do, goes for a few celebratory drinks. Some other pisshead is doing the same having watched the match on tele. Agger then pulls a couple of sluts and looks to enjoy himself before someone tells him to be quiet. Not only this, the person threatens, in front of the ladies, to "kick his arse". Charming.

Nicklas hears of this and, naturally, as a team player and all round good guy, is unhappy to hear both of his teammate being threatened and of bad language and threats being used in front of some ladies. Nicklas isnt a violent man, but he wont let this sit so he goes to speak quietly to the man. He asks if there is a problem. This is a fair question. The man forgets to bow in his presence. This is an oversight but can possibly be forgiven. What cant be forgiven, however, is the man then starting to argue with national hero Nicklas. Instead of just saying "sorry Nicklas, we've all had a bit to drink, I shouldnt have said anything and especially not in front of the ladies. Sorry again and might I add what a performance you put in, you're absolutely mint you", he had to get lippy.

Now, getting lippy with Bendtner is a bad move at the best of times. Bendtner is a no nonsense, no thrills, old fashioned kind of a man and he doesnt take too kindly to uppity, abusive arseholes, so he argues back.

Nicklas was eloquent, as graceful with his words in discourse as he is with his touch on the pitch, but the rude man refused to listen to reason. Instead he tried to close the door on Nicklas Bendtner. Now, I'm sorry, but I dont know who the fuck this man thinks he is. You do not close a door when Bendtner is speaking to you. You listen attentively, you nod your head, you agree, and you say "thank you for bothering to take the time to speak to me, I truly am honoured to have been in your presence". Instead the man, in front of another woman, showed his bad upbringing. This was too much for the gentle mannered Nicklas who, like a shining knight, will not allow a woman to witness such disrespect. He therefore acted reasonably, kicking the man to the floor to teach him a lesson.

The man then decided, in a drunken haze, that he was Rambo and could compete in any way with Nicklas Bendtner. Sorry lad but in bed, in looks, on the pitch or in a fight, you simply cant. Bendtner beat Chuck Norris in a fight (on points, controversially, but still). The man tried to get up and Nicklas didnt want to embarrass him in front of his woman by continuing the "fight" (such as it was) for any length of time, so one clean kick to the stomach ended it and kept the snivelling, disrespectful man on the floor. Nicklas then left to ensure the man embarrassed himself no further.

I'm glad that Nick stood up for all that is right and good. Full support for him here, glad he upheld the honour of the ladies. Maybe in future the man will be more respectful when faced with the best striker his country has ever produced.

[MegaGooner]

I hear the fan tried telling Bendtner that Michael Laudrup isnt actually an attacking midfielder and is really a striker and that this means his "Denmark's Best Ever Striker" crown might need to be taken off him once the panel have reached a verdict on which of the two is better at football. Has anyone seen spanishjoe recently by the way

Yeah right, next you'll be trying to convince me that Cannavaro wasn't Italys best midfielder

[I Hate Hleb]

Brilliant safcftm. I'm definitely going to nominate this thread at the Annual OnlineGooner Awards for Funniest Thread of the Year.