The Gooner Forum

Everyones probably heard this one but i'll put it for those who haven't


A teacher asks her class if anyone can use the word fascinate in a sentence. Brian raises his hand and says, "The sky is fascinating."

The teacher says, "No that's fascinating."

Jennifer raises her hand and says, "When I saw the tigers at the zoo I was fascinated."

The teacher says, "No that's fascinated."

So finally Little Johnny raises his hand and says, "My mom bought a new blouse with 12 pearl buttons, but her tit's are so big she could only fasten eight!

GE|2|2Y wrote:

Belfast Boy wrote:Lads do I really have to spell out that you can't refer to race in a derogatory fashion, and before anyone asks, it was the word that Prince Harry recently got his tatties kicked for using when referring to one of his army buds, so there's no excuse even if there were one before for not knowing that people of Asian descent find this word offensive, what is it, that people don't get about what is permissable and what is not, jokes from the Ron Atkinson school of humour are not welcome, it's as simple as that

I can't see the big deal with calling a pakistani a ****.
It's just the same as calling an Australian an Aussie, a Scotsman a Scot or a Frenchman a c**t.

Well that hardly surprises me, since you're the sort of complete prat who thinks it's ok to makes jokes about the Holocaust

I suppose it's ok to call a black person a n***** seein as it's slang for negro, the fact is, as I thought I'd made clear in my post people of Asian descent find it derogatory so it shouldn't be used, period

Are you really trying to say that if somebody called you Paddy in a derogatory fashion as if "it" - ie your heritage, was something you should be ashamed of, as it was in the "joke" in question you wouldn't find it offensive

A little girl aged 6 asks her dad,"When your dying.whats happening to you?"
The dad says "Well,if your lying down,Jesus comes down and gets you"

So the next day the child walks in the room to her dad who just came back from work and says
"Dad i think Mummys dead!"
"Why do you say that?" he asks
"Because today while you were gone,i walked into your room,and i saw mummy on the bed screaming " Jesus im coming, im coming!"
the postman saved her though i hope,he was holding her down.





F**kin classic

This is probably to far for even this forum













A guy is sitting in the bar in departures at a busy airport.
A beautiful woman walks in and sits down at the table next to him.
He decides that because she's got a uniform on, she's probably an off-duty flight attendant.

So he decides to have a go at picking her up by identifying the airline she flies for, thereby impressing her greatly.

He leans across to her and says the Delta Airlines motto 'We love to fly and it shows'. The woman looks at him blankly.

He sits back and thinks up another line.
He leans forward again and delivers the Air France motto 'Winning the hearts of the world'.
Again she just stares at him with a slightly puzzled look on her face.

Undeterred, he tries again, this time saying the Malaysian Airlines motto 'Going beyond expectations'.

The woman looks at him sternly and says 'What the f ** k do you want?'

'Ah!' he says, sitting back with a smile on his face. 'Ryanair'.

































I was looking for the Ryanair thread but i could not find it

luv it

Belfast Boy wrote:
Well that hardly surprises me, since you're the sort of complete prat who thinks it's ok to makes jokes about the Holocaust

I suppose it's ok to call a black person a n***** seein as it's slang for negro, the fact is, as I thought I'd made clear in my post people of Asian descent find it derogatory so it shouldn't be used, period

Are you really trying to say that if somebody called you Paddy in a derogatory fashion as if "it" - ie your heritage, was something you should be ashamed of, as it was in the "joke" in question you wouldn't find it offensive

At the end of the day its just a word...i cannot understand the way black people feel about the word i never will but live and let live..if thats how people feel im not gonna change that..same way im not gonna change.. Im not racist..in fact i consider myself the complete opposite...but can appriciate a good joke!....reguardless of subject matter or words used!

If i was called a paddy...not at all offensive....at the end of the day its just a word and these are just jokes...reguardless if they are about asians,genocide,rape,death etc..

Would it offend you?

GE|2|2Y wrote:

Belfast Boy wrote:
Well that hardly surprises me, since you're the sort of complete prat who thinks it's ok to makes jokes about the Holocaust

I suppose it's ok to call a black person a n***** seein as it's slang for negro, the fact is, as I thought I'd made clear in my post people of Asian descent find it derogatory so it shouldn't be used, period

Are you really trying to say that if somebody called you Paddy in a derogatory fashion as if "it" - ie your heritage, was something you should be ashamed of, as it was in the "joke" in question you wouldn't find it offensive

At the end of the day its just a word...i cannot understand the way black people feel about the word i never will but live and let live..if thats how people feel im not gonna change that..same way im not gonna change.. Im not racist..in fact i consider myself the complete opposite...but can appriciate a good joke!....reguardless of subject matter or words used!

If i was called a paddy...not at all offensive....at the end of the day its just a word and these are just jokes...reguardless if they are about asians,genocide,rape,death etc..

Would it offend you?

No doubt that calling an Asian a "Paki" is an insult.

As for calling a black a "N+gg==" . Word comes from slavery, when the Spanish corrupted their word for "Black" to label the slaves.

It is a very ugly word, and even when used by one Black person to another if the tone is wrong, then it is a grave insult.

So much so that even the foulest mouthed African Americans have renounced the word even when used in jest.

Richard Pryor renounced it before he died,

and now Paul Mooney has too.

It is one word that us whites should never use.

GE|2|2Y wrote:If i was called a paddy...not at all offensive....at the end of the day its just a word and these are just jokes...reguardless if they are about asians,genocide,rape,death etc..

Would it offend you?

You know very well what I meant (and said), but to answer your question GE, if someone called me Paddy in a way or as Quartz more eloquently put it a tone that was meant purely as a derogatory insult as if my ancestory or nationality was something I should be ashamed of then that person would be in trouble!