The Gooner Forum

Chippy wrote:Just listen to the words

https://www.google.co.uk/url?sa=t&rct=j ... 8874,d.d2k

Thanks Chippy, can't believe I've never heard that before

g88ner wrote:

armchair supporter wrote:This is very gay - buying an ex a fukin sewing machine? How fukin gay can someone be without actually being, well... gay?

Then coming on here and telling us? Fukin gayest post I've ever seen! FACT!

Now, come on - me buying a sewing machine for my ex doesn't make me gay - however, knowing the importance of a free-arm and a drop-in bobbin (rather than front loading) is gonna make you wonder

Fantastic repost, g88ner!

Chippy wrote:Just listen to the words

https://www.google.co.uk/url?sa=t&rct=j ... 8874,d.d2k

Am i the only one who wants to know how it all ends???


Where is the sewing machine/
where is your ex?
Why the fuck am i writing this?

corkbarry wrote:Am i the only one who wants to know how it all ends???


Where is the sewing machine/
where is your ex?
Why the fuck am i writing this?

eBay.
Happily sitting on someone else's cock.
Senility.

DB10GOONER wrote:

corkbarry wrote: where is your ex?
Why the fuck am i writing this?

eBay.
Happily sitting on someone else's cock.

Well g88ner......
Did the mysterious, missing "sewing machine" ever turn up? Or is your "ex" still trying to run off some fake armanis on a shoe rack?

You cant leave us hanging like this ? Spill the beans.......

I was reading the OP thinking it was a joke, was waiting for a punchline and then "oh shit, he actually did buy his ex a present, and he got her a fucking sewing machine". If I got my ex a sewing machine it would come with a message telling the fucking slut to sew her fucking fanny shut to stop her getting a different cock up it every night but that's a different story. Not what I'd buy for an ex that I actually still liked.

armchair supporter wrote:Well g88ner......
Did the mysterious, missing "sewing machine" ever turn up? Or is your "ex" still trying to run off some fake armanis on a shoe rack?

You cant leave us hanging like this ? Spill the beans.......

I contacted the company, and they're putting it down to an error in their dispatch department. I've returned the shoe rack, and they'll be sending the sewing machine asap.

I'll keep you all informed on whether the sewing machine finally turns up

Worst - ending - ever

I'm rating this film 1/10

..and no bloody subtitles either

g88ner wrote:

armchair supporter wrote:Well g88ner......
Did the mysterious, missing "sewing machine" ever turn up? Or is your "ex" still trying to run off some fake armanis on a shoe rack?

You cant leave us hanging like this ? Spill the beans.......

I contacted the company, and they're putting it down to an error in their dispatch department. I've returned the shoe rack, and they'll be sending the sewing machine asap.

I'll keep you all informed on whether the sewing machine finally turns up

Hang on, if you returned the shoe rack that means you must have somehow collected it off her. What happened during the exchange? Did she even bother to peel the window cleaner's balls off her chin as she handed it over to you? Did you at least get sloppy 62nd's as a thank you? Is this the first time you've had to explain away an error in the "dispatch department" to her?

My ex phoned the other day, all upset about an argument she'd had with a friend at uni. After about 5-10mins of getting everything off her chest, she said...

"sorry, I've just been ranting and raving, haven't I? you're a good listener; I know you're always there for me..."

Now, no word of a lie, at that very moment I stopped listening and a certain post from IU4GN flashed into my head...

Its Up 4 Grabs Now wrote: G88ner's probably the one that's "there for her" when being on the blob turns her into a raving lunatic. The one that sleeps in the wet spot for 20 mins after her & her current fuck buddy have sex so it's dry by the time they go to bed. The one who gently holds her hair back away from her face while she's giving the postman a blowy. Everybody loves g88ner. Top bloke all round.

Damn it...

So if you are considerate and a good listener - which is what women supposedly want in their man - but she still broke up with you, then it must have been because you're shit at the sex part of the relationship!!

I Hate Hleb wrote:

So if you are considerate and a good listener - which is what women supposedly want in their man - but she still broke up with you, then it must have been because you're shit at the sex part of the relationship!!

This thread is getting way off track It was supposed to be about a missing sewing machine and was not intended to be a discussion on how many fuck buddies my ex currently has - and certainly not to discuss whether my sexual performance (or lack of) was the reason she left in the first place!!

g88ner wrote:

I Hate Hleb wrote:

So if you are considerate and a good listener - which is what women supposedly want in their man - but she still broke up with you, then it must have been because you're shit at the sex part of the relationship!!

This thread is getting way off track It was supposed to be about a missing sewing machine and was not intended to be a discussion on how many fuck buddies my ex currently has - and certainly not to discuss whether my sexual performance (or lack of) was the reason she left in the first place!!

how did you imagine it was going to go mate?