The Gooner Forum

some people will create a thread about anything

seriously thats fucking great news! I skipped past this thread thinking it was leading onto a joke, but good stuff! can't imagine it would be easy to get something published- obviously I was wrong

top one mate

how many sales so far?

Just seen this. Is no one else going to say it? Alright then, I'll say it...

How the fuck did you get published? You write like a twat.

No, but really, what's the deal with this Lulu bollix? Does it cost an arm and a leg to publish something on there? I ask because I've always wanted to get one of my erotic novels published, but have always found it too difficult to find a publisher willing to pick one of them up.

In all seriousness, congratulations mate. I know for a fact that getting a novel together is not an easy process, so massive respect to you. I will be buying one shortly

Thanks for all the good wishes lads.

I should point out that I wasn't published by a mainstream publisher. I was struggling to get any of them to commit tbh. Most seem to want you to buy between 150 and 500 (!) of your own novel up front - in the current economic climate if it ain't a guaranteed hit they are very reluctant to take a risk. I had a couple of agents look at it too and whilst their feedback was positive they were worried it might only appeal to a fairly limited market (Oireland, or maybe even just Dublin).

So, frustrated as fuck, I self-published through Lulu.com.

Basically - you write it, you spend every waking minute for about 50 years formatting it just right (:twisted:) and designing a cover etc, then you upload it and if it doesn't break any laws it is then considered "published". But not one copy exists until someone orders one then they print it and post it out. So it is print on demand and costs them nothing initially. They take a big cut out of the price to cover their expenses and profit margin and you get whatevers left. In my case a paperback goes for €19.99 and I get about €6.00 out of that.

The only initial outlay for the author is you must buy one copy of the paperback to proof read, then you authorise it and it's for sale to the public from that point on.

This is probably a stupid question but how do you go about checking the title for your book isnt already in use? and are they copywrited or anything? Obviously you can google it but is there an ISBN database or are you allowed just to use any name over and over?

flash gunner wrote:This is probably a stupid question but how do you go about checking the title for your book isnt already in use? and are they copywrited or anything? Obviously you can google it but is there an ISBN database or are you allowed just to use any name over and over?

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

But, no you can't copyright a title, unless it is registered as a trademark.

ISBN fills a couple of roles but is not related to copyright. It is really a number classification/tracking system that identifies the industry, publisher, title, and the language of the work.

DB10GOONER wrote:

flash gunner wrote:This is probably a stupid question but how do you go about checking the title for your book isnt already in use? and are they copywrited or anything? Obviously you can google it but is there an ISBN database or are you allowed just to use any name over and over?

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

But, no you can't copyright a title, unless it is registered as a trademark.

ISBN fills a couple of roles but is not related to copyright. It is really a number classification/tracking system that identifies the industry, publisher, title, and the language of the work.

Cool. I think I will make a start on my book - Harry Potter and the wizards sleeve

Where can I get a refund?

I'm writing a book about GDP. Anyone keen to pre-order a copy?

frankbutcher wrote:I'm writing a book about GDP. Anyone keen to pre-order a copy?

If that thread is anything to go by, this is the only emoticon that perfectly sums up my answer;

HashKads wrote:Where can I get a refund?

JD has called me to suggest that everyone buy a copy of your book. The money earn will be reinvested in the economy when you buy a subscription to Goat Fondlers Weekly and a case of whisky.

frankbutcher wrote:JD has called me to suggest that everyone buy a copy of your book. The money earn will be reinvested in the economy when you buy a subscription to Goat Fondlers Weekly and a case of whisky.

This thread could be re-named Comedy Gold !

frankbutcher wrote:JD has called me to suggest that everyone buy a copy of your book. The money earn will be reinvested in the economy when you buy a subscription to Goat Fondlers Weekly and a case of whisky.

Hmmm... so many dullards, so little time...

Firstly, just because you pretend to be a banker and not a shelf stacker in Tesco doesn't actually mean you are one. Secondly, goat fondling is what the culchies do when not marrying their sisters or counting how many toes they have on each hand. I am from Dublin. We do not fuck goats. We fuck ALL OF YOUR ENGLISH WOMEN. And we fuck them well. Don't ever forget that.

FYI - "earned" is spelt as I just did, not as "earn". It's your language, try and use it correctly.

Bump-diddly-ump!



From SID's Book thread;

Update on my first self published novel. Sold a good few, but mostly to family and friends to be honest and nowhere near enough to give up the day job!

Anyway, if anyone wants a bargain pressie for someone those cheeky cúnts at Amazon have taken £3 off my novel. The fuckers. Better come out of their end and not mine!

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Lads-Incorporat ... corporated

DB10GOONER wrote:Bump-diddly-ump!



From SID's Book thread;

Update on my first self published novel. Sold a good few, but mostly to family and friends to be honest and nowhere near enough to give up the day job!

Anyway, if anyone wants a bargain pressie for someone those cheeky cúnts at Amazon have taken £3 off my novel. The fuckers. Better come out of their end and not mine!

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Lads-Incorporat ... corporated

I'd rather boil my own fucking head