northbank123 wrote:Well done mate. I've been there with dreading work - had a placement where I hated every minute whilst I was at work and dreaded the thought of being in work whenever I wasn't. Hated the work and couldn't shake the feeling that I was on the verge of drowning after a terrible first few days - which was complete rubbish because honesty I got great feedback - but I remember just how horrible it was. Luckily it was only six months I had to do and actually it was great for my career but life sucks when you have a job you despise that much.
You've obviously had a dreadful time of things in recent times - just think that things can hopefully only get better.
Cheers, mate. I recognise those feelings very well. Not getting feedback and thinking you're no good - It's terrible. I wanted to walk out in my first few weeks and I've had a few minor meltdowns throughout the time here.
I managed to issue a semi-retraction to my boss about my cracking up; 'I feel much better now', etc, etc. All lies, of course. The news of my exam pass went over well too. I hate to think I will be stuck here, even if they still want me.
I wanted to post some days back to bitch some more about work. For the past two weeks I've been on the bastard helpdesk, answering the phone. Naturally, they put the telephone-phobe on the phone

My telephone manner is seemingly fine, but I still dread the phone ringing. I can't wait to pass the caller off to someone else or get off the call, especially when I don't know what they're on about. It feels like a cruel and unusual punishment. Phones are a total deal-breaker, which fucks up any chance of an office career for me. That said, I've had to apply for a part-time position in another department, simply because I have little choice. I can't even see any blue-collar jobs available.
I've also been stuck with sending out reports to faceless people around the country and pissing about editing them for various sources. Naturally, no-one told me to do them last week and now I have people harassing me for them, as I sent them the previous month. So tomorrow, I have to send them whilst still having only half a clue on what to do.
As I said, the apprenticeship and qualification will look good on the CV (to be fair, a human turd would look good on my CV), but I have no interest in staying in that boiler room.