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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Mon Jun 16, 2014 5:46 pm
by Top Londoner
Well done Lefty. Cheers mate.
WENGER OUT
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Sat Jul 05, 2014 9:03 pm
by OneBardGooner
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Mon Jul 07, 2014 12:38 pm
by LeftfootlegendGooner
Vanessa Feltz jumping on the bandwagon and breaking it.
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Mon Jul 07, 2014 12:41 pm
by LeftfootlegendGooner
Did you know you are supposed to pull anal beads out slowly? I didn't... I started the wife up like a fucking chainsaw.
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Mon Jul 07, 2014 12:42 pm
by LeftfootlegendGooner
The police are looking for witnesses to a nearby hit and run last Friday night.
I didn't see anything when I went past but it wouldn't surprise me if it was the same cun.t who threw a tricycle under my car.
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Mon Jul 07, 2014 12:44 pm
by LeftfootlegendGooner
Blimey, the way things are going at the moment - the BBC won't have any footage left of the 60s, 70s or 80s.
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Mon Jul 07, 2014 12:46 pm
by LeftfootlegendGooner
The head teacher from the school called me today.
"I've just caught your son having sex with Sarah Jones," he said, "I am totally disgusted."
"Me too," I replied, "Isn't she the fat ginger one?"
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Mon Jul 07, 2014 12:47 pm
by LeftfootlegendGooner
Arjen Robben goes down easier than a thirsty tourist in Magaluf.
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Mon Jul 07, 2014 12:54 pm
by LeftfootlegendGooner
One way or another I'm going to have to stop quoting Blondie lyrics.
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Mon Jul 07, 2014 1:00 pm
by LeftfootlegendGooner
Brazil's football is like Miley Cyrus. It used to be beautiful, but now it's just dirty.
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Mon Jul 07, 2014 1:01 pm
by LeftfootlegendGooner
Katie Price and Kerry Katona both have books coming out this month...
Which could plunge the U.K. into a huge crayon shortage.
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Mon Jul 07, 2014 1:01 pm
by LeftfootlegendGooner
These new mortgage applications are a bit personal.
Q14. How do you intend to repay your mortgage at the end of the 30 year term?
a) ISA/Investment
b) Endowment
c) Remembering you gave Rolf Harris a blowjob on the M4
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Mon Jul 07, 2014 1:06 pm
by LeftfootlegendGooner
If FIFA carry on in this style: Russia 2018, Qatar 2022, Iran 2026, North Korea 2030, Hell 2034, Stoke 2038.
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Mon Jul 07, 2014 1:08 pm
by LeftfootlegendGooner
"I don't really know my best position. Left, right or centre."
"Wayne, just get on the fucking plane and pick an aisle, will you?"
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Mon Jul 07, 2014 1:11 pm
by LeftfootlegendGooner
Does anyone else find cucumber makes them burp a lot?
Or am I just shoving mine up too far?