The Gooner Forum

just wondering what it is for people after a mate recently proposed to a oven(sounds stupid but at the time the funniest thing in the world)

mine is start to paint my bedroom wall with that fence stuff,you know the kind...brownish and stinks to the heavens(that actually sounds like shit)

this stuff

NOT CREOSOTE, SURELY.

I did loads of stupid shit when I was younger and pissed. I would put some of it on here but it would take ages and some of it still haunts me to this very day.
I do remember the most painful thing though. I got pissed on the train from Paddington to Taunton and faceplanted out of the carriage onto the platform. Fuck me that hurt.

I would say the absolute stupidest thing I did when drunk was my mates girlfriends mum.

I was 19 and she was about 48 and looked it. I convinced her that I wanted more than a one nighter and told her to ring me the next week. Once sobered up I seriously freaked out, ignored her calls and about 3 months later I heard she got committed after an attempted suicide. It had nothing to do with me but I dodged a bullet there.

Number 5 wrote:I would say the absolute stupidest thing I did when drunk was my mates girlfriends mum.

I was 19 and she was about 48 and looked it. I convinced her that I wanted more than a one nighter and told her to ring me the next week. Once sobered up I seriously freaked out, ignored her calls and about 3 months later I heard she got committed after an attempted suicide. It had nothing to do with me but I dodged a bullet there.

Similar thing.

Got involved with a woman who I would normally not be interested in.

Not ugly. Not older. But just not up to standard.

She turned out to be a "bunny boiler", (from the famous film).

My life was a misery, for several months.

Tried to tell her that there was no future in it. Didn't fancy her anymore. I even invented a new girlfriend, who I had fallen in love with.

Whatever I tried, to turn her off me, it made her even worse. It got fucking scarey.

A word of warning, lads and lassies......be careful who you shag.

It could turn into a fucking nightmare.

I puked on a copper.

Lucky I was just a nipper, as otherwise I might have felt a truncheon whack!

I was recently to found throwing up my guts on Tuffnell Park Road at 11 in the morning ! As passers by walked past pretending they couldn't see me !

Also puked up in a bin at Turin Airport after our 0-1 defeat to Juventus in the 01/02 season.

Worst thing I've done when really drunk...

...probably going home.

There is a well known way of avoiding the wrath of the missus when you get home drunk:-

If you creep in quietly and just slip into bed then you are guaranteed to hear, "What fucking time do you call this you fucking tosser. You fucking stink" etc. etc. So, the best thing to do is make no effort to be quiet, burst into the bedroom throwing your clothes around whilst singing "I'm too sexy" then jump into bed, slap her arse and say "Are ya feelin horny?"

Guaranteed that she will pretend to be in a deep sleep

An old remedy but a good one

Sleep with a MILF 11+ years your age and pretend you are from Newcastle.

Karel wrote:Sleep with a MILF 11+ years your age and pretend you are from Newcastle.

I'm a MILF (according to my son's mates)

They didn't tell me - he did!